clv0116 Posted February 28, 2009 Posted February 28, 2009 Come on. You can't really blame women for not being attracted to men that have hired hookers. Most men would not be attracted to women that did the same. A man can play it off like he is so incontrol and he doesn't want the complications. And maybe that's true. But that is just another reason why that man would be unattractive to a woman that is looking for a serious partner .... Well, just because a guy at one point in his life wasn't looking for a 'serious partner' and wanted his pipes cleaned doesn't mean he will be perpetually stuck in that stage of his life. Would it be better if he was a player who used sincere women? Worse to me. If he is clean, my dating ban would be on men who have hired escorts. I don't want to be with a man that paid for sex. Well many men are of the opinion that all men pay for sex. I'm not 100% sure it is true all the time, but I'm 100% sure it's true most of the time, and I wonder if it really is true all the time. But perhaps you should lay off qoutes that say men don't pay women for sex, they pay them to leave. Not cool. Why not cool? It's merely true. A decent looking successful guy can pick up a woman or sex without much trouble, if he has no issues about deceiving and/or using her. The problem with this is it's wrong and women are hard to get rid of a lot of the time. They keep calling and so on even when it was 'clear' from the get go that it was a casual thing. I'm not into no strings sex but for the guys that are I can appreciate the utility of the professional.
Geishawhelk Posted February 28, 2009 Posted February 28, 2009 How is a man who pays for sex any different to the guy who buys a woman a bunch of flowers, a pretty necklace, a good meal and then takes her home and has sex with her? If he is clean, my dating ban would be on men who have hired escorts. I don't want to be with a man that paid for sex. That doesn't make me a bitch. It's about my personal wants. Don't get it. What's wrong with a guy who pays for sex? Why does that make him any different to the guy above? I don't honestly see, if he's clean (and providing it's not done simultaneously to dating you) where the problem is.
Holding-On Posted February 28, 2009 Posted February 28, 2009 Well, just because a guy at one point in his life wasn't looking for a 'serious partner' and wanted his pipes cleaned doesn't mean he will be perpetually stuck in that stage of his life. Would it be better if he was a player who used sincere women? Worse to me. Thank you for saying this. This is what I thought too. However ... OP: if he has a porn addiction/different values than you, perhaps he really isn't your type and you should move on
Holding-On Posted February 28, 2009 Posted February 28, 2009 How is a man who pays for sex any different to the guy who buys a woman a bunch of flowers, a pretty necklace, a good meal and then takes her home and has sex with her? I'd say his intent. He might be doing this because he really really likes her, (in addition to wanting sex with her). This could be considered a courtship wherein the man would like something more long term. By paying money up front you are establishing the time frame you want and what you want (intent: sex, with no strings). If you only want sex and sex alone it is probably very frustrating to waste money on suppers and so forth. There is nothing wrong in wooing someone. I certainly have done it with previous boyfriends (taken them out to dinner etc). What they did from that time on, whether they thought I was interesting or sexy or whatever once they got to know me is their business. But I had to ask them out first, ergo I had the obligation to pay for the date, no? Amazing as it sounds, sometimes men do want a girlfriend and court one. My husband went to Amsterdam. He paid, his first time, for a prostitute. He was not desperate for sex only curious to try out this legal prostitution. A cultural experience if you will. He said he did not like it. He did not feel desired or wanted when he had to fork out cash for someone to have sex with him. I cannot think he is the only man to feel this way.
calazhage Posted February 28, 2009 Posted February 28, 2009 It would be like me saying "I would never date a girl whom had a one night stand in the past!" Or, "I never dated a girl whom ever had a one night stand!" Women get sex easily, anytime, anywhere. If they had a one night stand, it does not mean they are some easy slut for the rest of their lives. If I guy used a professional, it does not make him some sick individual whom should be shunned. Like CLV said, would it be better if the man was leading women on and lying to them to have sex? If a man pays, it simply levels the playing field between men and women. Then both sexes could have sex anytime they want, with whomever they want. For women whom want to control men, this is a difficult reality to face.
clv0116 Posted February 28, 2009 Posted February 28, 2009 For women whom want to control men, this is a difficult reality to face. It sets a market value on something a lot of woman would like to see remain priceless.
Jersey Shortie Posted February 28, 2009 Posted February 28, 2009 Well, just because a guy at one point in his life wasn't looking for a 'serious partner' and wanted his pipes cleaned doesn't mean he will be perpetually stuck in that stage of his life. Would it be better if he was a player who used sincere women? Worse to me. Of course that wouldn't be better. Neither option is very flattering. Well many men are of the opinion that all men pay for sex. Then I guess man y men don't have a nice opinion of women. Why not cool? It's merely true. It's only something a man who doesn't like women very much would say. The problem with this is it's wrong and women are hard to get rid of a lot of the time. They keep calling and so on even when it was 'clear' from the get go that it was a casual thing. Well most women want to be treated like human beings, not toys. :/
clv0116 Posted February 28, 2009 Posted February 28, 2009 Then I guess man y men don't have a nice opinion of women. Only if you assume that paying for sex is a filthy dirty thing. If you set that idea aside then the statement becomes what it's intended to be, a simple observation of the human condition.
calazhage Posted March 1, 2009 Posted March 1, 2009 It seems a man whom hates women would stay away from them, not pay hundreds or thousands of dollars for their company. Men like sex, what is so hard to understand? Unless you are a rock star, women are not offering sex for free, in any capacity. How many men have had a woman walk up to them at the store and say "hey, want to go have some sex?" It doesn't happen. So if a man wants sex he must ask the girl out, take them out, spend money, spend time, and then either: A. Go home without sex B. lie to her on some level to get sex. Of course sex in a relationship is better, but we are not always in one. Or look at porn and beat off.. Or have many one night stands. Which is better?
You'reasian Posted March 1, 2009 Posted March 1, 2009 Well most women want to be treated like human beings, not toys. :/ It boils down to treating others the way you'd like to be treated.
Lizzie60 Posted March 1, 2009 Posted March 1, 2009 Paying for sex shows that a man is either lazy, does not want the effort to put into maknig a real relationship or desperate. I know men would like to think that this would still make a man attractive but the reality is it doesn't. This is sooo not true.. they might just enjoy you without the hassle of commitment.. especially if the guy is married.. He just enjoy sex.. but want no problems with his W and family... This thread makes me laugh.. cause I see a double standard... it's OK for a woman to have the guy pay for the supper, wine, the flowers, gaz, etc.. then feels some kind of obligation to have sex with him.. or simply have sex with him then dump him for whatever reasons.. I don't really see the difference. At least, with the escort.. it's simple.. very clear and honest...
MN randomguy Posted March 1, 2009 Posted March 1, 2009 I think there are a lot of good points in this thread. I think that women don't like to have a monetary value put on sex. Much of the time it is because they think that that's all they have to offer to keep a guy in a relationship. If that is what you think... You're probably right. Women also want an experienced guy who is confident. However, how are inexperienced guys supposed to get laid to get this confidence? What comes first, the chicken or the egg. A prostitute can teach a guy a lot of things. Also, if you realize that not all prostitution is for monetary exchange then you realize how prevalent prostitution is. How about sex in exchange for status with your friends? How many women sleep with a guy so that they can be Mr. famous' GF for a few days, or ride on his yacht?
Dawn26 Posted March 1, 2009 Posted March 1, 2009 Hmm....personally I would be extremely bugged by this. This says alot about his lack of moral fiber and uncontrolable urges.
clv0116 Posted March 1, 2009 Posted March 1, 2009 Hmm....personally I would be extremely bugged by this. This says alot about his lack of moral fiber and uncontrolable urges. If you abstain then you potentially have moral high ground here, but I don't see the difference between giving something away and selling it from a 'moral fiber' point of view.
Jersey Shortie Posted March 1, 2009 Posted March 1, 2009 Only if you assume that paying for sex is a filthy dirty thing. If you set that idea aside then the statement becomes what it's intended to be, a simple observation of the human condition. Huh? You qouted that men don't pay women for sex, they pay them to leave. That's an attempted power play comment made by a man that paid for sex trying to feel better about himself. No, you don't pay her to leave because she wouldn't have done him in the first place without the money. The comment is very misgonistic and really shows off a man's insecurity by saying it. It seems a man whom hates women would stay away from them, not pay hundreds or thousands of dollars for their company . Actually, I would think a man that hates women would pay for them. That way he does not have to actually behave like a human being with them. He can make a trade with them, take what he wants and still look down on them. he doesn't have to learn to really engage with one. Men like sex, what is so hard to understand? Dude, we all like sex. no one is blaming men for liking it. Women like chocolate. Doesn't mesn men like it when we buy it whenever we feel like it and eat it without working it off. How many men have had a woman walk up to them at the store and say "hey, want to go have some sex?" It doesn't happen. Oh, i'm so sorry that women are human beings and not porno-fantasies come to life begging you for sex. So if a man wants sex he must ask the girl out, take them out, spend money, spend time, and then either: A. Go home without sex B. lie to her on some level to get sex. Or actually like the woman and want to put in the effort to engage with her for more than just sex. Shocking. Sounds to me like you are complaininga bout actually having to put effort into engaging with a woman on a more human level.
Jersey Shortie Posted March 1, 2009 Posted March 1, 2009 JS: Paying for sex shows that a man is either lazy, does not want the effort to put into maknig a real relationship or desperate. I know men would like to think that this would still make a man attractive but the reality is it doesn't. You:This is sooo not true.. they might just enjoy you without the hassle of commitment.. especially if the guy is married.. He just enjoy sex.. but want no problems with his W and family... Hassle without commitment = lazy, not want the effort to put into a relationship. Married man paying for sex = selfish, liar, desperate. So what part again wasn't true. This thread makes me laugh.. cause I see a double standard... it's OK for a woman to have the guy pay for the supper, wine, the flowers, gaz, etc.. then feels some kind of obligation to have sex with him.. or simply have sex with him then dump him for whatever reasons.. I don't really see the difference. At least, with the escort.. it's simple.. very clear and honest... I never felt an obligation to sleep with someone because they paid 20 bucks for me on dinner. And why should I? Shoukd a women be that thankful now-a-days for a meal? And if a man thinks you should sleep with him because sll he did was buy you dinner, he has to be kidding. Rules of dating and relationships are more complex because it means you have to consider the other person. Hiring an escort means you only consider yourself. I personally want a man more engaged in life and women than that. How many women sleep with a guy so that they can be Mr. famous' GF for a few days, or ride on his yacht? Are these really the type of life experiences most of us are having???
clv0116 Posted March 1, 2009 Posted March 1, 2009 Huh? You qouted that men don't pay women for sex, they pay them to leave. That's an attempted power play comment made by a man that paid for sex trying to feel better about himself. No, it's meant to convey the simple truth that sex can be had for free but no strings sex generally requires compensation.
Jersey Shortie Posted March 1, 2009 Posted March 1, 2009 It's meant to put women down. ANd in that set up, sex isn't being had for free. Again, that is something an insecure man is telling himself to feel better about the fact he bought sex.
clv0116 Posted March 1, 2009 Posted March 1, 2009 It's meant to put women down. ANd in that set up, sex isn't being had for free. Again, that is something an insecure man is telling himself to feel better about the fact he bought sex. I think you're wrong, it was said by Charlie Sheen and I'm pretty sure it reflected reality for him and a lot of other people.
Gold Pile Posted March 1, 2009 Posted March 1, 2009 None of my ex boyfriends have ever hired escorts beforeAs far as you know. Maybe they just didn't tell you. This sort of thing has been going on for 1000's of years between millions of people. There is a fair chance your father did it B4 he met your mother. Write it off to normal human nature. The important thing is his being loyal to you now.
Jersey Shortie Posted March 1, 2009 Posted March 1, 2009 As far as you know. Maybe they just didn't tell you. This sort of thing has been going on for 1000's of years between millions of people. There is a fair chance your father did it B4 he met your mother. Write it off to normal human nature. The important thing is his being loyal to you now. Perhps your mom was an escort before she met your dad? I think you're wrong, it was said by Charlie Sheen and I'm pretty sure it reflected reality for him and a lot of other people. You really want to use Charlie Sheen as the voice of intelligence? :/
clv0116 Posted March 1, 2009 Posted March 1, 2009 You really want to use Charlie Sheen as the voice of intelligence? Just pointing out that for the man who said it and many others it's merely reality and nothing more or less.
You'reasian Posted March 2, 2009 Posted March 2, 2009 So long as the guy in question was safe about it, I think its a non-issue. Everyone has their sexual past - so long as he's not doing this now with the girl (OP). Ladies, you've got your sexual pasts too... I'd imagine there are some ordinary, average guys out there who are dateworthy to the ladies - but would rather not jump through hoops and play games, deal with their isses just to enjoy the benefits of being in a relationship.
Trialbyfire Posted March 2, 2009 Posted March 2, 2009 I'm shocked that certain men believe it's a power play by women, to dislike or have extreme distaste for prostitution. That's ridiculous. It's just rude to some of us, that women would stoop so low to spread'em for money. I've said this before and I'll say it again, I'd rather clean toilets, than sink to that level of behaviour, to maintain a living. Did it ever occur to some of you people that there are people in this world who view sex not as a game or an appetite but as something special between two caring individuals? To denigrate it to the level of a cash transaction is revolting. Once again, there's no way in hell I would ever date a man who's ever been with a prostitute. He's got the wrong kind of ethics, integrity and morality to denigrate a woman to this base level. For that matter, any woman who voluntarily enters the sex trade, has major issues emotionally. Talk about a lack of respect for self.
Sam Spade Posted March 2, 2009 Posted March 2, 2009 The discussion is interesting, but unproductive. One thing is sure, however: neither position on prostitution has any right whatsoever to judge the other side (in moral terms). Also, to make conclusions and judgements based on moral assumptions rather than fact (from either side of the argument) is silly and violation of basic rules of logic. This is a subject that apparently stirs a lot of emotions, and that's fine. But, in a public discussion emotions and mere opinions are pretty much worthless - they're like a behind - everyone has them. Arguments supported by reasoning are more useful. Like most things in life, there are pros and cons associated with prostitution.
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