eclipseIDE Posted February 25, 2009 Posted February 25, 2009 For me, it would be a deal-breaker, particularly since it sounds like you found out on your own v. directly from the horse's mouth. I've yet to date or get involved with a man who's ever visited a hooker. While this might not be true for all the men who've done it, I see it as a sign of desperation. Lol, and you know this is true because?????? They told you so?
clv0116 Posted February 25, 2009 Posted February 25, 2009 If a guy pays for 3-4 dates and then gets laid, is that prostitution?
voldigicam Posted February 25, 2009 Posted February 25, 2009 Quick search shows the difficulty of getting current statistics. But Kinsey's work indicated a 70% at least once use by men back then. Might be different now, but it would be higher than one would think. I'll distinguish a few different paths of paid sex. I can easily see that one's feelings about each type might be different. 1. Drunk sex for money in a car with a crack whore. Very dangerous. 2. Regular use of a streetwalker picked up after work. Probably only moderately dangerous. 3. Infrequent or single time engagement with a streetwalker. This could be simple curiosity. Probably little risk from a single engagement. 4. Frequent engagements with professional escorts. This is probably pretty safe - the pros keep themselves in shape and protected I suspect. But the regular use makes me wonder. 5. Infrequent engagements with pro escorts. Could simply be exploration, curiosity, etc. Probably pretty safe. 6. Engagements with non-pro types. College students or single moms on the ropes and engaging in moonlighting as amateur escorts. I have no idea how risky this is. Probably if protection is used not much at all. I'd be concerned about a fellow who has barriers low enough to allow regular use of street prostitutes. Other circumstances, well, I would think it's a case by case deal. I may be odd, but it doesn't seem like a big deal to me for someone not in an established relationship to pay for sex, especially a very busy person. Dating is a lot of effort, work, etc. Sometimes drama is too much to put up with. The concept of FWB or a f*** buddy are fairly new. An escort seems a useful escape valve. I don't think I'm good enough at turning people into objects to be a very decent client. I've been taken to strip clubs - I always end up in nice conversations about where from, what hobbies, etc with the strippers. It's weird. But I'm a nudist. So maybe bodies are different to me. I wouldn't be surprised if 50% of the time with escorts is spent talking and chatting, just being with someone.
Trialbyfire Posted February 25, 2009 Posted February 25, 2009 Lol, and you know this is true because?????? They told you so? I was waiting for something like that. To argue the reverse, how do you know your past g/fs didn't work as hookers, sometime in their lives or don't eviscerate kittens for pleasure?
Enema Posted February 25, 2009 Posted February 25, 2009 Add another vote to the "you're overreacting" camp. Seeing escorts doesn't mean he's a bad person, or untrustworthy. I wouldn't hesitate to say it's probably more honest and clean than a one night stand with a random you meet a club/pub. If I was single, I'd probably go the escort route too. Simpler, no misunderstandings or expectations, more variety, and cheaper than a real woman.
Lizzie60 Posted February 25, 2009 Posted February 25, 2009 Add another vote to the "you're overreacting" camp. Seeing escorts doesn't mean he's a bad person, or untrustworthy. I wouldn't hesitate to say it's probably more honest and clean than a one night stand with a random you meet a club/pub. If I was single, I'd probably go the escort route too. Simpler, no misunderstandings or expectations, more variety, and cheaper than a real woman. You'd get a discount..
eclipseIDE Posted February 25, 2009 Posted February 25, 2009 I was waiting for something like that. To argue the reverse, how do you know your past g/fs didn't work as hookers, sometime in their lives or don't eviscerate kittens for pleasure? Oh I assume it, thats why I dont ask because I dont want to know. Ive seen enough to know most women in one way or another have had sex for money. They dont call it prostitution though.
JamesM Posted February 25, 2009 Posted February 25, 2009 If I was single, I'd probably go the escort route too. Simpler, no misunderstandings or expectations, more variety, and cheaper than a real woman. So is an escort a "fake" woman? That reminds me of those strip clubs that have signs that say "Live Nude Women!!" As if there are dead naked women.
Lizzie60 Posted February 25, 2009 Posted February 25, 2009 So is an escort a "fake" woman? That reminds me of those strip clubs that have signs that say "Live Nude Women!!" As if there are dead naked women. I had the same thought..
movingonandon Posted February 25, 2009 Posted February 25, 2009 I say you're probably overreacting. I've been with a couple of hookers - while single - and would *never* do it while in a relationship, since that would be cheating. The STD fears are unfounded: hookers are a lot more festidious about sexual health than your average skank on the bar scene. I'm still not sure how you found out? I would never admit it to anybody in real life, just because the world is full of quilt-ridden judgemental bitchez who will make character assumptions based on these minor transgressions. I'm not proud of it, but I also see nothing to be ashamed of. In any case, I'm keeping it to myself, just in case.
JamesM Posted February 25, 2009 Posted February 25, 2009 I was waiting for something like that. To argue the reverse, how do you know your past g/fs didn't work as hookers, sometime in their lives or don't eviscerate kittens for pleasure? Actually if this were a debate, this is a weak rebuttal. You made the assertion that you have never dated a man who visited escorts, and when asked to provide some sort of proof in support of that assertion, you simply avoid it and ask a question....which by many would not be considered the reverse. My response to your question would not be another question but simply...I don't know as I never asked, nor would I make an assertion that none did without evidence in support. Just my two cents.
Lizzie60 Posted February 25, 2009 Posted February 25, 2009 Unless someone is with his/her partner 24/7.. there is absolutely NO WAY one can say that they've never been cheated.. or that their partner has never paid for sex.. it's absolutely ridiculous to think one knows everything about the other's life..
Ruby Slippers Posted February 25, 2009 Posted February 25, 2009 I could never have a relationship with someone who'd hired a prostitute. I would dump him.
Ruby Slippers Posted February 25, 2009 Posted February 25, 2009 ...I see it as a sign of desperation. Ditto. Ultimate damaged goods. The only guy I know who admitted to hiring a hooker was EXTREMELY desperate and undesirable. He was my roommate briefly in college. I actually had to move out because he would not stop coming on to me, and he kept scaring off the third roommate he was so creepy and gross.
SpanksTheMonkey Posted February 25, 2009 Posted February 25, 2009 Well if it was any kind of reputable escort service the girls are all checked on a reg basis. Also escort doesn't ALWAYS mean sex for sale I could be wrong never used one being a female. Full prostitution is legal now here in NZ and I think its not a bad thing cause at least they check them and make sure there healthy if not they are banned from working! I would say if its a big concern for you then ask him to get tested least that way you will know. Gotta say one thing tho seams hes an honest man that counts for something I think..
Enema Posted February 25, 2009 Posted February 25, 2009 So is an escort a "fake" woman? That reminds me of those strip clubs that have signs that say "Live Nude Women!!" As if there are dead naked women. I think the "Live Nude Women" thing means the women are really there in the flesh. I went to a peep-show once; was shown to into a little curtained off booth and they have a tv that is supposedly a camera to the different "peep" rooms. It was pretty obvious that the tv was just a VCR and clicking the button to view another "room" was just changing the porn channel Needless to say, that place didn't have a sign that said "Live" women.
Chicago_Guy Posted February 25, 2009 Posted February 25, 2009 Men lie. In Many parts of the world prostitution is legal. Men screw whores. It's true, it is the oldest profession for a reason. Men just lie about it so people think it is rare. If you honestly believe that most men have used prostitutes, then you have a very negative and jaded view of men.
chrislovestosurf Posted February 25, 2009 Posted February 25, 2009 "I think the majority of guys have paid for escorts in their lives. It's nothing anyone is proud of and usually (unless it is some sort of addiction or fetish) it doesn't really excite the man enough to repeat it. Should you stop judging people? yes. Should you stop being jealous? yes. Jealousy is not healthy and if you think you are prone to be that way you should seek therapy. What your man did in the past has no reflection on you and taking offense is a selfish reaction. Just relax, do you like him for him or what he represents? you kind of need to get over yourself hon" Are you kidding me? Most men have payed for sex? NO, I dont think so. In my opinion the only guys who pay for escorts (PROSTITUTES, dont be fooled) cant get laid by real women. Some men who are really overweight and/or cant ever get women will do this, and its fine, but others do it because it is an obsession when they are with someone and they do it all the time. I know this one guy who is a complete loser who cheats on his wife with escorts, and believe me from what i am told these girls do anything as long as they see dollar signs. Honestly I would be careful moving forward with a guy who has paid for sex, even more so since its a LDR. Theres just a bad element that goes along with that scene (drugs) as well.
sand26 Posted February 25, 2009 Posted February 25, 2009 Quick search shows the difficulty of getting current statistics. But Kinsey's work indicated a 70% at least once use by men back then. Might be different now, but it would be higher than one would think. I wouldn't be surprised if 50% of the time with escorts is spent talking and chatting, just being with someone. Thank you for the moderate vindication. I think many people arguing the other side of this point are being a little too subjective, just because THEY wouldn't get prostitutes doesn't mean that most the men in the entire world agree with them. There are a MINORITY of girls who despise head too, and guess what, they think they are the majority too. Whatever.... in big cities (where most the worlds population is) prostitution is much more common, especially in areas of eastern europe, asia, africa,and the netherlands.... so that is just my two cents. I have traveled a lot and lived in many cities and seen a whole lot of whore houses/massage parlors/street walkers. It's a big industry and it is mostly first or second timers that call these escorts. It's not a pretty world and most "jon's" don't really visit a prostitute twice, hookers are desperate/sad/often enslaved ladies. How do I make these assumptions? I worked on two different documentaries involving the human sex trade business, and the girls and madams we talked to explained that it is the addicts who pick the girls on the street and the first timers that go with the "call girls/escorts". So, look through your yellow pages, notice how many pages you see with dozens of escort ads. check craigslist for your neighborhood... whatever, you all are projecting your morals and beliefs on the rest of male society and not being objective..... go to vegas,,,, how many men hand you cards with hookers numbers?....why would they think YOU-an upstanding nice gentleman would want that...?? because in their experience the MAJORITY do take at least one card....just to see......cause ya know...... just this once... And getting a prostitute has nothing to do with desperation, as charlie sheen said, "I don't pay them to come, I pay them to leave." some men have things to lose, and a mutually incriminating situation keeps the deed clean. just my opinion, I think lots of dudes get whores........just once or twice. good luck in fairy tale land kids the mfk
voldigicam Posted February 25, 2009 Posted February 25, 2009 In my limited discussions with married fellows who have used escorts novelty and variety without strings seemed the driver. Not lack of sex at home or any kind of unattractiveness on their parts. While I may have run into an odd sample, I doubt it. In most things, those indulging cross all walks of life and all types of people. I suspect that's correct here, too. Difficult to read others' motivations. Rather than guesses, I'd prefer to see adequately vetted statistics. None of us has a crystal ball, and people hardly reveal these activities openly.
JamesM Posted February 25, 2009 Posted February 25, 2009 In my opinion the only guys who pay for escorts (PROSTITUTES, dont be fooled) cant get laid by real women. Some men who are really overweight and/or cant ever get women will do this, and its fine, but others do it because it is an obsession when they are with someone and they do it all the time. I think your opinion is wrong. Having known a number of men who have visited "real" (here we go again...the pejorative term "real" as if escorts are somehow of a different gender or class) escorts, they have not been men who could not get laid. Thank you for the moderate vindication. I think many people arguing the other side of this point are being a little too subjective, just because THEY wouldn't get prostitutes doesn't mean that most the men in the entire world agree with them. just my opinion, I think lots of dudes get whores........just once or twice. good luck in fairy tale land kids No one questions that alot of men visit prostitutes of all types, but your assertion that most men do does not appear to be true. However, it is known that the more one associates with people who do, the more that it seems normal and in the majority. But if it feels good to think you have some knowledge that the rest of the world doesn't, then we will continue to live in fairytale land with "real" women.
Lizzie60 Posted February 25, 2009 Posted February 25, 2009 "I think the majority of guys have paid for escorts in their lives. It's nothing anyone is proud of and usually (unless it is some sort of addiction or fetish) it doesn't really excite the man enough to repeat it. Should you stop judging people? yes. Should you stop being jealous? yes. Jealousy is not healthy and if you think you are prone to be that way you should seek therapy. What your man did in the past has no reflection on you and taking offense is a selfish reaction. Just relax, do you like him for him or what he represents? you kind of need to get over yourself hon" Are you kidding me? Most men have payed for sex? NO, I dont think so. In my opinion the only guys who pay for escorts (PROSTITUTES, dont be fooled) cant get laid by real women. Some men who are really overweight and/or cant ever get women will do this, and its fine, but others do it because it is an obsession when they are with someone and they do it all the time. I know this one guy who is a complete loser who cheats on his wife with escorts, and believe me from what i am told these girls do anything as long as they see dollar signs. Honestly I would be careful moving forward with a guy who has paid for sex, even more so since its a LDR. Theres just a bad element that goes along with that scene (drugs) as well. OMG.. you have no idea what you're talking about. How about the good-looking married guy who use one..
Trialbyfire Posted February 25, 2009 Posted February 25, 2009 Ditto. Ultimate damaged goods. The only guy I know who admitted to hiring a hooker was EXTREMELY desperate and undesirable. He was my roommate briefly in college. I actually had to move out because he would not stop coming on to me, and he kept scaring off the third roommate he was so creepy and gross. Yikes! That's one scary guy. Not surprising that you moved out right away. Talk about a dead-bolt on the bedroom door situation.
You'reasian Posted February 26, 2009 Posted February 26, 2009 Didn't Hugh Grant visit a prostitute? And some famous politician recently too?
Trialbyfire Posted February 26, 2009 Posted February 26, 2009 Didn't Hugh Grant visit a prostitute? And some famous politician recently too? Hugh Grant is a special needs kind of guy. He picked up a transvestite hooker.
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