Woggle Posted February 25, 2009 Posted February 25, 2009 This could be the subtitle to "why men won't marry". Why lock yourself into that drama when you can just keep her as a girlfriend and kick her ass to the curb when she starts getting flaky? Good option. I think that a big attraction for many men to the player lifestyle is that when a woman starts acting up you can kick her to the curb and replace her with a fresh model. It's a very rare woman that doesn't cause that drama and those are the ones worth keeping around.
taylor Posted February 25, 2009 Posted February 25, 2009 Good option. I think that a big attraction for many men to the player lifestyle is that when a woman starts acting up you can kick her to the curb and replace her with a fresh model. It's a very rare woman that doesn't cause that drama and those are the ones worth keeping around. This is called conflict avoidance. I hope you aren't a fireman. The minute you'd smell smoke you'd run, rather than pick up a fire extinguisher and put it out. BTW, what should a woman do when YOU start acting up? Trade YOU in for a new model? Don't know your story but I have a hunch some women in your past feel like they dodged a bullet.
Woggle Posted February 25, 2009 Posted February 25, 2009 This is called conflict avoidance. I hope you aren't a fireman. The minute you'd smell smoke you'd run, rather than pick up a fire extinguisher and put it out. BTW, what should a woman do when YOU start acting up? Trade YOU in for a new model? Don't know your story but I have a hunch some women in your past feel like they dodged a bullet. It's drama avoidance and to me is a good way to approach life. If I were a fireman I would try and put out the fire but if the fire kept growing and getting worse no matter how much I sprayed it I would just get the people out and save whatever possessions I can. This is what it is like dealing with a resentful woman. Female resentment is a fire that can never be put out no matter what you do. My ex would give her right arm to have me back and I have had other women just couldn't let go.
taylor Posted February 25, 2009 Posted February 25, 2009 I love sex but if no woman is available it is just as easy to masterbate. The problem is that sex is a big way of how a man feels loved in a relationship and when a woman cuts it off it is obvious there are issues on her part. When a woman cuts him off a man wonders what the hell is wrong. How loved:love: do you feel when you have sex with an available woman at a bar or strip club? Did it ever cross your mind that if a woman chooses not to have sex with you (she cuts you off), YOU are the one that might have the problem? Think about it for just a minute. If you were in tune with the woman you would realize there was SOMETHING wrong before she cut you off. Women usually cut a guy off as a last resort to jolt them into awareness. The problem's been brewing. You just missed the signs or chose to ignore them or chose to play dumb. And then when she does cut you off, you say, "Gosh, I really had NO IDEA what was going on. Not a clue." But I bet if someone gave you a million dollars if you could "guess" what was wrong, you would miraculously come up with the right answer, couldn't you?
taylor Posted February 25, 2009 Posted February 25, 2009 It's drama avoidance and to me is a good way to approach life. If I were a fireman I would try and put out the fire but if the fire kept growing and getting worse no matter how much I sprayed it I would just get the people out and save whatever possessions I can. This is what it is like dealing with a resentful woman. Female resentment is a fire that can never be put out no matter what you do. My ex would give her right arm to have me back and I have had other women just couldn't let go. No, you wouldn't put out the fire. That would be too much work and too much drama. Not worth your effort. Apparently, you have had to deal with resentful women. Why did they resent you? And you still didn't answer my question: What do women do with you when YOU start acting up?
clv0116 Posted February 25, 2009 Posted February 25, 2009 Good option. I think that a big attraction for many men to the player lifestyle is that when a woman starts acting up you can kick her to the curb and replace her with a fresh model. It's a very rare woman that doesn't cause that drama and those are the ones worth keeping around. Well I hate to even say it but that's the reality. Why put up with that level of pure horse pucky when you can trade out of it?
norajane Posted February 26, 2009 Posted February 26, 2009 Well, it's too late for Woggle to take his own advice, since he's happily married to an older career woman. But, according to him, she's the ONLY woman on the planet that was worth marrying, so he feels lucky he has her.
taylor Posted February 26, 2009 Posted February 26, 2009 Well, it's too late for Woggle to take his own advice, since he's happily married to an older career woman. But, according to him, she's the ONLY woman on the planet that was worth marrying, so he feels lucky he has her. So, Woggle, what are you going to do when life gets tough with the woman you married? Oh, the possibilities? What if she loses that career of hers and becomes angry, irritable, or depressed? What is she develops a chronic illness that affects her quality of life. She becomes sad, bitter, unhappy? What if she loses someone close to her and she grieves over it for a year? What if you start having financial or sexual problems and she starts complaining about it? What would Woggle do? This woman really trusts you to be there for her when life gets tough? She must be a gambler.
clv0116 Posted February 26, 2009 Posted February 26, 2009 Well, it's too late for Woggle to take his own advice, since he's happily married to an older career woman. But, according to him, she's the ONLY woman on the planet that was worth marrying, so he feels lucky he has her. Sounded like he kept taking his advice until he found one that wasn't addicted to drama. Good for him.
norajane Posted February 26, 2009 Posted February 26, 2009 Sounded like he kept taking his advice until he found one that wasn't addicted to drama. Good for him. You haven't heard his stories about his first wife, have you?
taylor Posted February 26, 2009 Posted February 26, 2009 This could be the subtitle to "why men won't marry". Why lock yourself into that drama when you can just keep her as a girlfriend and kick her ass to the curb when she starts getting flaky? I repeat: When men don't want to have sex with their wife, the wife blames herself (I'm too fat, too ugly, not adventurous enough, too old, etc.) When women don't want to have sex wither their husband, the husband blames the wife (too b--chy, too prudish, too manipulative, too crazy, TOO FLAKY) Men, are your egos really that big that you can't stop to consider for one minute that YOU might be the problem..YOU might be the reason your wife/girlfriend chooses not to have sex with you?
carhill Posted February 26, 2009 Posted February 26, 2009 Bait has no master Seriously, I brought this up in MC. My wife complained that I didn't want to have sex with her anymore. I patiently explained that jumping out of bed to clean herself after sex and then falling asleep and asking me if I came after the shingles lifted three feet off the roof and the dogs started barking was not the way to get me to have more sex with her. "la, la, la, la" was all she heard The worst was inviting me to wipe my face after going down on her (which I enjoy with any woman). I laugh about it now but it ate at my psyche for years, no matter what I did or said. Now she gets a big ole bed and BOB
clv0116 Posted February 26, 2009 Posted February 26, 2009 You haven't heard his stories about his first wife, have you? First wife = curb?
clv0116 Posted February 26, 2009 Posted February 26, 2009 YOU might be the reason your wife/girlfriend chooses not to have sex with you? So you're saying that when a wife cuts the man off he's doing her a favor if he goes and gets sex elsewhere? Sounds like a win-win to me.
taylor Posted February 26, 2009 Posted February 26, 2009 Bait has no master Seriously, I brought this up in MC. My wife complained that I didn't want to have sex with her anymore. I patiently explained that jumping out of bed to clean herself after sex and then falling asleep and asking me if I came after the shingles lifted three feet off the roof and the dogs started barking was not the way to get me to have more sex with her. "la, la, la, la" was all she heard The worst was inviting me to wipe my face after going down on her (which I enjoy with any woman). I laugh about it now but it ate at my psyche for years, no matter what I did or said. Now she gets a big ole bed and BOB OMG, Carhill, make me laugh:laugh: I'm gonna sleep good tonight. BTW, who's BOB...I'm kind of afraid to ask.
Jennifer26 Posted February 26, 2009 Posted February 26, 2009 So you're saying that when a wife cuts the man off he's doing her a favor if he goes and gets sex elsewhere? Sounds like a win-win to me. I haven't been getting as much sex from my husband as I would like, perhaps I should go and get sex elsewhere too. And why do people think sex is only important to men? When a woman is in love, and happy in her relationship usually sex is very much enjoyable and something she wants regularly.
carhill Posted February 26, 2009 Posted February 26, 2009 BOB = battery operated boyfriend, ala vibrator
taylor Posted February 26, 2009 Posted February 26, 2009 So you're saying that when a wife cuts the man off he's doing her a favor if he goes and gets sex elsewhere? Sounds like a win-win to me. It's a possibility. If the relationship is so bad that the woman cuts off sex as a last resort to provoke change, and nothing changes, YES, his leaving her for another woman to bonk could be a blessing in disguise. At least her mother would probably tell her so...."Good riddance to that jerk...he did you a favor." So, yes, could definitely be a win-win.
clv0116 Posted February 26, 2009 Posted February 26, 2009 I haven't been getting as much sex from my husband as I would like, perhaps I should go and get sex elsewhere too. Did you ask him for more? I can't imagine a guy saying no, but maybe it's possible.
carhill Posted February 26, 2009 Posted February 26, 2009 Reading further, IMO, intimate expressions of love are equally important to both genders. The disconnect is in how we communicate this. I'm as guilty of that disconnect as anyone. Maybe be the time I die I'll get it right I must say though that, for a love-starved man (or woman), a little affection goes a long way. The trick is getting it from (and giving it to) one's committed partner.
norajane Posted February 26, 2009 Posted February 26, 2009 First wife = curb? In a manner of speaking. I believe she ended up in jail after she tried to shoot him. Or maybe she tried to shoot him after she got out of jail. I can't remember.
taylor Posted February 26, 2009 Posted February 26, 2009 And why do people think sex is only important to men? When a woman is in love, and happy in her relationship usually sex is very much enjoyable and something she wants regularly. If you read Boto's thread about wife feeling pressured you will be surprised at the number of posters who believe women actually dislike sex and have no interest in it at all. I've spent two days trying to counter this nonsense. I guess the only women who really have any interest in sex are prostitutes because they never turn it down. Of course, like other women, they don't like it, but they do it anyways just so they can pay their bills. Why the rest of us women engage in sex..well, it's beyond me.
taylor Posted February 26, 2009 Posted February 26, 2009 In a manner of speaking. I believe she ended up in jail after she tried to shoot him. Or maybe she tried to shoot him after she got out of jail. I can't remember. Why was she trying to shoot him? He wasn't trying to have sex with her, was he?
Jennifer26 Posted February 26, 2009 Posted February 26, 2009 Did you ask him for more? I can't imagine a guy saying no, but maybe it's possible.Oh, I've done more than just ask. I've heard every excuse in the book, including the "I have a headache" And the horrible thing is, people think because I'm a woman - I should be okay with it. It's as if women only have sex for procreation, or because they get paid for it, as Taylor said. Or people assume it must be something with me. I need to try to be more kinky, or hotter, etc.
Woggle Posted February 26, 2009 Posted February 26, 2009 It's one thing for a woman to be sad or depressed over a bad situation but a woman who is just bored with life and puts her husband in the target sight because she blames him for it all should be kicked to the curb. I am not saying I am a perfect man but I do love my wife and my intentions are good. If she wants to bring up issues in a mature and adult way we can talk but if she just wants to treat me like trash because of some vague reason that I would magically know then why beat my head against a wall? I am married to an older career woman but she also knows what commitment means and that it takes a real partnership to make a marriage work rather than a female dictatorship. She doesn't use sex as a weapon and neither do I. My ex shot at me because she found out I was getting remarried and she served a year in prison for it. Now she is addicted to every drug in the book.
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