starzphalling Posted February 24, 2009 Posted February 24, 2009 he was one of my best friends for years. we dated, he ended it. now im out a boyfriend and best friend. i've never been one to have a multitude of people around me. i enjoy the time i have alone...at least i did. i moved closer to him when i went to school. now im in a town where i know no one, and don't have many desires to know anyone. at first i was devistated. then it got better and i was ok for a week or two, then the dreams started. i wake up feeling drained, like there was no point in sleeping. the first thoughts i have in the morning are of him, and trying to figure out where i went wrong. im beyond tired and worn out, the only thing thats keeping me sane is school, and even that isn't taking enough time up. i just wish this would all end. i've been through one other major breakup, and it took me three years to fully be over the guy (it was and 8 year relationship). so i know what im looking at for a while in my life, but i don't want to. i want him to call and say e's sorry, and he was wrong. but even if he did, i don't think i could live this pain again for him. i'm just so tired, i want the dreams to stop. i want my life back to normal. as strange as it sounds i'm sick of the ups. everytime i start feeling good and can get im out of my mind, in the back of my head i know its going down again. i just don't have the energy for this. i feel like i should have never dated him and i really screwed up, and what kills me more is when it ended he left it open. gave me the whole "i haven't given up on "us" im just not ready now" "our friendship doesn't have to be over" and he asked me to wait for him. i soooo want to believe him, but he won't even talk to me now. i dont' want him to have lied, but its looking like the only option. if he had just said "i never want to see you again" things would be so much easier, leaving it open just lets that little voice in the back of my head tell me not to give up, but that hope is killling me. i'd love to hear any insightful responses, but i think i just needed to write. you know to get it out. i feel like ive been left in the dark, and he stole my damn flashlight.
Scorpio13c Posted February 27, 2009 Posted February 27, 2009 Hi Star, Why did he end it? You'll find lots of comfort here, don't fret ) Scorp
EmperorR Posted February 27, 2009 Posted February 27, 2009 Time helps trust me, I dealt with the dreams and waking up every night reaching to my right and no one was there for months untill i'm back to sleeping like a baby. Soon you will wake up and not think about your ex or think about him before bed, I'm at that point where I have to like force my mind to remember my ex. Whenever you wake up thinking that just try to change your mindset, wake up in the morning and watch tv, read something wake up earlier go for a walk change your routine. I know it's hard now but trust me it gets better.
honey2910 Posted February 27, 2009 Posted February 27, 2009 Hi Star... What Emperorr is saying correct without any slightest doubt.. We all have gone through this phase. But believe me it will get better. Change your routine and believe me know one can make you happy or sad. Its only about you. You can make yourself happy if you want to. Try to accept things as they are , untill you wont accept it will prolong your plain
redmelon Posted February 28, 2009 Posted February 28, 2009 Maybe you could spend some time reading about meditation. Try to be in the NOW, not the past, and not the future, just NOW. Educate yourself to be in charge of your brain, as strange as that sounds. Take control of your train of thought, and then when the thoughts of him jump in, you can refocus and see that looking back doesn't serve a purpose right now, other than to upset you. Give yourself the space to really heal. Best wishes...I know how bad you are feeling, I know it's exhausting and seems like it will never end. It will end, you can do this, one day at a time, one foot in front of the other. Be kind to yourself.
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