Makemesmile Posted February 24, 2009 Posted February 24, 2009 Hi all, havnt bin on for a while, but hope you can shed some light! Ive bin seeing this guy for about 6-7wks. Our first date he told me where to meet, what time, and even booked me a hotel. I was impressed a man that could think for himself and take control (i found this very attractive) and non of the you choose BS. He is a very shy, quiet guy (not like me) very chalk and cheese but we get on well and enjoy each other. Anyway my problem, each date apart from the 1st i have suggested. And he has always replied very excited about going out or coming to mine for a DVD etc... But i'm sick of asking! Like last night for example i had nothing planned and would have loved to see him, but i decided to wait to see if he asked me my plans. Anyway he text and i said i was bored, he said why didnt you say???? I would have come to entertain you! But i'm miles away now (out on his motor bike) Then later that night i joked i was having a PJ party alone......... And he asked where his invite was???? So from the signs i think he wants to see me but just dosnt ask!!!!! Any thoughts?
prettybaby Posted February 24, 2009 Posted February 24, 2009 Are you guys intimate? Or like, hold hands and such?
Author Makemesmile Posted February 24, 2009 Author Posted February 24, 2009 Are you guys intimate? Or like, hold hands and such? Yes we have become intimate in the last weeks. And no big issue with holding hands when we are out, even kissing me in public for no reason apart from wanting to..... He says random things like, I need to show you where i live. I asked why? He said you will need to know! That makes me think its not just a fling to him! Geishawhelk, when you say not committed, in a bad way and never will be???? Or just taking things slow?
prettybaby Posted February 24, 2009 Posted February 24, 2009 Ok, he's definitely not shy then. He's either not ready to really settle into a solid relationship and is just enjoying the entertainment you're providing ... OR, he hasn't been with many girls / has been single for a long time, and simply has no clue how interactions normally flow in a relationship.
Geishawhelk Posted February 24, 2009 Posted February 24, 2009 Geishawhelk, when you say not committed, in a bad way and never will be???? I have no idea. Which is why I suggested listening to your gut. What does it tell you? In your position, I'd be looking to date again.....
Author Makemesmile Posted February 24, 2009 Author Posted February 24, 2009 Ok, he's definitely not shy then. He's either not ready to really settle into a solid relationship and is just enjoying the entertainment you're providing ... OR, he hasn't been with many girls / has been single for a long time, and simply has no clue how interactions normally flow in a relationship. I dont think its the entertainment as if he comes over to my place nothing happens (long story but i have just moved back to my mums) And he is happy 2 come round and not leave until 12-1pm Sorry the kissing in public only happens when he has had a drink, the rest of the time we hold hands and just kiss good night (his lip shaking) LOL So maybe my best bet is to let it fizzle out and find the man i first described who doesnt mind taking (some) not all of the control
likestolaugh Posted February 24, 2009 Posted February 24, 2009 before you dump him, why don't you talk to him about your concerns? Perhaps he doesn't realize what he's doing to annoy you... he sounds like a decent guy
Author Makemesmile Posted February 24, 2009 Author Posted February 24, 2009 before you dump him, why don't you talk to him about your concerns? Perhaps he doesn't realize what he's doing to annoy you... he sounds like a decent guy I'm glad you said that as he is a good guy. Ive known him since school and he was always the quiet one! Like he texts every night to say sleep tight, sweet dreams etc.. each morning to say Hi. I did just have a thought to! He mentioned the other week his ex (they have a son) and the system took 3 maintance payments at once off him, do you think he's not asking as he maybe short and can not pay right now? I mean that dunt bother me, i would pay or would be happy at home with a bottle of wine and a DVD! Maybe i just scare him!
likestolaugh Posted February 24, 2009 Posted February 24, 2009 it could be he feels a bit unworthy? You would know better than I. But please don't let him go without trying to talk to him about your concerns. I know what it's like to be shy... at first we can be a bit unsure about initiating a lot of things... but as time goes along, you'll find we'll always be there for you . We're more the slow-burn type... it gets better as it progresses (usually, lol).
Author Makemesmile Posted February 25, 2009 Author Posted February 25, 2009 Quick update! Think i was way over thinking about this! I had to go out last night yet got a text from him asking what time i was setting off. Said about 5ish. Conversation: Him: I'm on my way Me: Why? Aw you coming to give me a big smooch b4 i go? haha Him: Yes if i make it in time x Please wait 20mins later he was at my door gave me a kiss, said have a good night and if your not back to late i will come round later. And he did! I should trust my gut as GW said as i have a nice warm feeling about him x
ruggy Posted February 25, 2009 Posted February 25, 2009 Quick update! Think i was way over thinking about this! I had to go out last night yet got a text from him asking what time i was setting off. Said about 5ish. Conversation: Him: I'm on my way Me: Why? Aw you coming to give me a big smooch b4 i go? haha Him: Yes if i make it in time x Please wait 20mins later he was at my door gave me a kiss, said have a good night and if your not back to late i will come round later. And he did! I should trust my gut as GW said as i have a nice warm feeling about him x Seems both of you have each other in the perfect spot in the relationship. Good for you.
SoulSearch_CO Posted February 25, 2009 Posted February 25, 2009 Quick update! Think i was way over thinking about this! I had to go out last night yet got a text from him asking what time i was setting off. Said about 5ish. Conversation: Him: I'm on my way Me: Why? Aw you coming to give me a big smooch b4 i go? haha Him: Yes if i make it in time x Please wait 20mins later he was at my door gave me a kiss, said have a good night and if your not back to late i will come round later. And he did! I should trust my gut as GW said as i have a nice warm feeling about him x That made me go "aww." LOL I'm a sucker. I don't think he's disinterested - maybe just afraid of being rejected if he asks you to go on a date. Really could depend on how he was treated in last relationships because that can REALLY affect how you treat future Rs. If it comes up again as a problem, just mention how it would be really romantic for HIM to be assertive and make a date suggestion.
Author Makemesmile Posted March 2, 2009 Author Posted March 2, 2009 Pleaseeeee help! Yep it was going so well! Then friday i got drunk, really drunk! Called him a few times left some very embarrassing msg, you know along the lines of i really like you, think your great, are you my boyfriend or what??? I dont remember this and if sober wouldnt of said it, as im not ready for the exclusive thing yet (I'm a very happy, loving kinda drunk) Anyway the next morning i said i was sorry etc.. He text to say its ok and laughed at me! Then we arranged to meet sun, i text him in the morning asking what the plan was? Waited all day and he never got back to me till 3:45 that afternoon....... His excuse: He hadnt gone to bed until 8am that morning and he was real sorry he had slept all day. But he was really distant, so i said if you feel we need some distance after anything i said the other night then i understand! 4hrs later he text: Him: Thinking of what to replay Me: I think the time you spent thinking about it says it all. Ive had and i'm still having a great time with you, i understand if you need space. Him: I get scared lol dont know what of tho Me: Am i that bad? Him: Noooo No more texts, xxs or anything Then 7am he sends a msg have a great day at work hun x I'm confused, normally he will say good night, but nothing at all. Me: R we ok? Him: Yep (note no x) Nothing all day! You may think i'm paranoid but normally i get text all day, just a kiss here and there! Nothing You reckon ive scared the poor lad after one drunken night of dribble????? Guys i need your input! He just seems so distance!
Geishawhelk Posted March 2, 2009 Posted March 2, 2009 Stop texting. Do more talking. Texting is the worst way to communicate, period. It stinks, because it can be interpreted in so many different ways it will drive you nuts. Speaking - talking, verbally and visually engaging - is the best, ever way of understanding each other. Do it.
Author Makemesmile Posted March 2, 2009 Author Posted March 2, 2009 I would but he broke his phone last week (the flip bit on the bottom snapped off) So he carnt take calls at the mo! Should i just leave him to contact me? Or invite him to meet me? Or just leave it
Recommended Posts