lonelyinluv Posted February 24, 2009 Posted February 24, 2009 ive been living with my boyfriend for 9 months at the very begining of the relationship he cheated we both wasnt serious about each other so i decided to forgive and then we got serious.. well here recently i fount user profiles for local cheaters and he has a profile and had been getting on and talkin to females.. he said he was just bored and it wasnt serious what should i believe?
fan_tastic Posted February 24, 2009 Posted February 24, 2009 I would say it all depends on how you two view your relationship and how you personally view a relationship. A modern approach would be that the only things causing a problem are those getting between you. If he would rather spend time with someone else, that's it, over ! If it doesn't physically bother your relationship and you enjoy your time together, what's the problem? If you add mariage to the equasion, it is also important that you aren't cheated in regard to having children, obviously. Other than that, what do you care as long as it doesn't bash or vulgarize your existence?
Author lonelyinluv Posted February 25, 2009 Author Posted February 25, 2009 im just trying to see what should i believe... is he jus bored and playing on the computer? in that case its just a little bit different NOT MUCH but yes a little... but is he on this cheating website looking for a discreet relationship?? thats the big conflict im having. Is it play or 4real??
Geishawhelk Posted February 25, 2009 Posted February 25, 2009 That doesn't matter. He shouldn't be on there at all. play or 4real - it's cheating. Morally and emotionally.
Author lonelyinluv Posted February 25, 2009 Author Posted February 25, 2009 so that means i am in the right of worrying about it? ive tryed to sit down and talk with him to figure out the reasons he done it, and he just blows me off like im blowing this whole situation out of proportion. that its nothing but a stupid website and i have nothing to worry about... but in my own head im thinking YOU ****ING IDIOT(excuse my language) how can i not worry?? you cheated once before and they say once a cheater always a cheater.. so how am i suppose to love him if i cant trust him? u cant have one without the other rite??
Geishawhelk Posted February 25, 2009 Posted February 25, 2009 Love it. He's at fault, so he tries to make out that YOU'RE paranoid. This is classic guilt behaviour. "Turn it around and put it on their shoulders!" He refuses to take responsibility for his actions, and refuses to see how it might hurt you. Instead, it's you who's being silly? Oh, Puh-Leeese!!
Author lonelyinluv Posted February 25, 2009 Author Posted February 25, 2009 i know that im not in the wrong for expecting him to man up to his mistakes. i figured i was being adult about the situation and asked to sit down and work things out or at least talk and try to.. an explnation was all i asked from him so i can figure out what i need and want to do in my life.. why is that such a problem for him? ive got alot of my heart into this relationship and i dont want to put forth more if he's not willing too.. i refuse to deal with heartbreak that i can prevent and i would be an idiot not to.. should i give him an ultimatum? explain and talk or else?
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