IcemanJB Posted April 4, 2009 Posted April 4, 2009 How many minutes into the call? Let us assume it is the first time we talk. I know there can't be a concrete answer, but is there a general rule? Generally do it towards the end of the conversation...try to keep it short and sweet, like 5-10 minutes. Do the talking and getting to know part in person.
D-Lish Posted April 4, 2009 Posted April 4, 2009 You may not want to ask on the first conversation. Feel it out- if she seems receptive, ask...if not, do it on call #2. Make the first date something light- like lunch or coffee. Nothing too big because you don't know if you'll be into one another and you don't want to get trapped. If you have coffee and things seems to be going well- then you can order lunch or take a walk. Date #2, you can do something a little more interesting. The first phone call you want to just feel each other out...So it's not imperative to ask her on a date. Call #2- you can ask freely, and do it a little way into the conversation so you can decide what you guys want to do. Good luck, things are looking up
Phateless Posted April 4, 2009 Posted April 4, 2009 How many minutes into the call? Let us assume it is the first time we talk. I know there can't be a concrete answer, but is there a general rule? If it's the first time you talk, spend a little time to get to know her and feel out the situation. I would say once you have some good energy and rapport going is a good time to transition. If it's going well and you're laughing with each other, use something related to your conversation to initiate the first hangout. "so what makes you happy when you're not working?" "oh, i like to go outside and go hiking..." "no kidding? i discovered this great trail the other day, have you ever been to ____ " "no, never been." "that's it, i'm taking you there this weekend. let's get up early sunday morning and go have a picnic on the trail. :)" easy. don't make a big show of asking permission. make it fun, keep the flow, and casually invite her out. Remember, her perspective will NOT be "he asked me out and i thought about it and decided to go." Her perspective will be "we were talking and having a great time and WE DECIDED to go hiking." In actuality, YOU decided and she's coming along for the ride because she likes you. it's mostly about not freaking yourself out.
Author 39388 Posted April 10, 2009 Author Posted April 10, 2009 I went out on a date! :) We were just too different though and there will be no 2nd date. Not enough chemistry. What I'm learning is the women are just as nervous as I am. I made some mistakes becuase I was nervous, but I don't think the outcome could have been any different. Time to find another woman!
Trialbyfire Posted April 10, 2009 Posted April 10, 2009 That's great news 39388! Relax and enjoy dating. No pressure, no hurry!
clv0116 Posted April 10, 2009 Posted April 10, 2009 It might take getting burned many times before I find love. No, it will take many times. Just persevere and you'll get it.
yeex Posted April 10, 2009 Posted April 10, 2009 I went out on a date! :) We were just too different though and there will be no 2nd date. Not enough chemistry. What I'm learning is the women are just as nervous as I am. I made some mistakes becuase I was nervous, but I don't think the outcome could have been any different. Time to find another woman! Cool man. Even when it does not work out, you are getting better with experience. Practice makes perfect!
likestolaugh Posted April 10, 2009 Posted April 10, 2009 nice job man! Now that you've passed that hurdle, the first date won't be as hard...
Phateless Posted April 10, 2009 Posted April 10, 2009 i went out on a date! :) we were just too different though and there will be no 2nd date. Not enough chemistry. What i'm learning is the women are just as nervous as i am. I made some mistakes becuase i was nervous, but i don't think the outcome could have been any different. Time to find another woman! yes yes yes!!!
Phateless Posted April 21, 2009 Posted April 21, 2009 Update? How are things going? Since you haven't been online lately I'm assuming you're out having fun and meeting people. That's good!
Els Posted April 21, 2009 Posted April 21, 2009 Sorry, stumbled across this thread a bit late. Not all women think that men have to be hot to even consider giving them a try. A man's looks rates so low on my list of priorities that it'd probably end up somewhere below 'similar hobbies' and just maybe above 'likes animals'. Intelligence, wit, and compatibility rates miles above. I've dated guys whom I objectively rated 3 before I got to know them... and after we got together the rose-tinted glasses went on and they skyrocketed to above-5 just to me. Glad to hear you've had a date. Think of it this way: at least you'll be certain that the women who ARE with you are with you because of YOU, and not how you look. That, along with the fact that I don't enjoy dressing up, is one of the reasons why I dress as plain and comfy as can be, and don't bother with cosmetic doo-dads. I never regretted that either.
Recommended Posts