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A question for you dating experts...


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Posted

Alright, so my girlfriend and I have been together for 4 months now. This passed weekend I started noticing more of a wild side coming out. We went drinking at a friends house and she confessed to hooking up with one her ex's numerous times while dating various people that she became "bored with", when she told me once already that they only were together that way one time. I also noticed that she doesn't drink very much when we're at parties together. She'll get drunk with me at small gatherings or bars, but only gets drunk with a bunch of her friends if I'm not around. If I'm there and theres a lot of people her attitude changes to "I'll have a few". I guess my question is if I should be concerned about disloyalty or anything else? What're your thoughts?

Posted
Alright, so my girlfriend and I have been together for 4 months now. This passed weekend I started noticing more of a wild side coming out. We went drinking at a friends house and she confessed to hooking up with one her ex's numerous times while dating various people that she became "bored with", when she told me once already that they only were together that way one time. I also noticed that she doesn't drink very much when we're at parties together. She'll get drunk with me at small gatherings or bars, but only gets drunk with a bunch of her friends if I'm not around. If I'm there and theres a lot of people her attitude changes to "I'll have a few". I guess my question is if I should be concerned about disloyalty or anything else? What're your thoughts?

 

I think you'll find, generally, that a lot of things don't make since where alcohol is involved. It's obvious that she is aware she can get out of hand when she drinks a lot so that's not going to happen when she's around you. Fact is, a lot can happen when she's drinking and NOT with you if she drinks to the point where all her inhibitions are gone.

 

If she's a nice person, wait a few years until she gets the wildness out of her system before you think about getting any kind of serious with her. She's still got a lot of wildness to get out of her system.

Posted
If she's a nice person, wait a few years until she gets the wildness out of her system before you think about getting any kind of serious with her. She's still got a lot of wildness to get out of her system.

good idea

 

easy to be bored, red flag

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Posted

Yeah I can say that I'd agree with you. To be honest im having trouble trusting her since this weekend. I'm afraid she may have already cheated once because she has mentioned this urge to make out with people when she drinks a lot, which would also be a huge reason why she doesn't want me around at her parties.

Posted

The key phrase you mentioned was, "bored." Your best defense against this is to keep amping up the attraction. Women do not cheat if there is enough attraction to you. Just as long as you keep things interesting, like presenting yourself as a challenge you will be fine. Do not become clingy or needy. That will certainly kill off things very quickly.

Posted
she doesn't want me around at her parties.

 

This is a bigger red flag than the drinking, IMO. If she doesn't want you around, then it's for a reason.

 

As far as the drinking, a truly loyal person will remain faithful regardless of BAC.

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