movingonandon Posted February 26, 2009 Posted February 26, 2009 oh and that's too bad that you're so base and empty that the only reason to be with a girl is to have sex sooner than 2 months of dating. loser. I have no preconceived notion of how long it *should* take until sex happens - could be 2 weeks, could be 2 months. The point is that this is a natural process, conditional only on how much two people like each other, and what are their logistical circumstances. In no point of this process - *IF* it is healthy - there are any "calculations" and "scheming" involved, which is what you're doing.
2sunny Posted February 26, 2009 Posted February 26, 2009 well oh no not again.... Paging 2Sunny. hello hello um he again has called me around 7 pm saying had a work meeting and to call him back and where was i called him and emailed him at 9 pm its now 12:20 ive been around him at home he always has his blackberry, iphone and laptop and checks them all the time. no return call so he is either out at a strip club with his business client or cheating on me no need to jump to extreme conclusions... but i think it would be in your best interest to just ASK him what's up with the inconsistencies. when he answers watch for nervous body language - which would indicate he's lying or withholding or manipulating the truth. you could google or search utube for some blatant indicators of what this looks like. just the fact that he continues to yank your chain and slap you on the back end over and over indicates something is definitely not adding up. just ask. if he's as decent as you say he is - there should be a simple explanation. if the explanation is that he's been seeing someone else - then at least you have the truth and then have a decision to make about whether or not to continue seeing him. if he sidesteps giving you a straight answer, then you at least know that he's hiding something (which is a form of lying as well). either way - you need to get to the truth so you know how to proceed... with caution or with an open heart.
Author Nagini Posted February 27, 2009 Author Posted February 27, 2009 [/b] no need to jump to extreme conclusions... but i think it would be in your best interest to just ASK him what's up with the inconsistencies. when he answers watch for nervous body language - which would indicate he's lying or withholding or manipulating the truth. you could google or search utube for some blatant indicators of what this looks like. just the fact that he continues to yank your chain and slap you on the back end over and over indicates something is definitely not adding up. just ask. if he's as decent as you say he is - there should be a simple explanation. if the explanation is that he's been seeing someone else - then at least you have the truth and then have a decision to make about whether or not to continue seeing him. if he sidesteps giving you a straight answer, then you at least know that he's hiding something (which is a form of lying as well). either way - you need to get to the truth so you know how to proceed... with caution or with an open heart. thanks 2sunny. youve been so awesome. well he called me five times today kinda weird. he keeps calling me pornstar which bothers me he seems to think its cute that im so um passionate but still havent gone all the way with him. anyway he said he is going out with friends on saturday night he said he wouldnt be going but his old friend is also going and because thye both lost a mutual friend 20 years ago he wants to go for old times sake i offered to go and he sai dno so i told him that im free to do whatever i want saturday night he said yes friday and friday night is a camp out with his son and their boy scouts group. im fine.... i just feel like he is in his own little world and doesnt see that he isnt trying hard enough with me and because i have several other nice sweet guy friends who ARE trying its too hard to hold on.......
Author Nagini Posted February 27, 2009 Author Posted February 27, 2009 - the mere thought of having sex with person with such attitude gives me an STD . well you'd know about std's not me. i dont sleep around.
2sunny Posted February 27, 2009 Posted February 27, 2009 time to see what the other nice, sweet guys are all about! what are ya waitin for? i say - game on!!!
Author Nagini Posted February 27, 2009 Author Posted February 27, 2009 time to see what the other nice, sweet guys are all about! what are ya waitin for? i say - game on!!! well i posted this as my facebook status update. does anyone have fun happenings for this Saturday because Ill be free. game on indeedy. im actually pretty happy. he has given me license to go play and he can't complain about the results.
Author Nagini Posted February 27, 2009 Author Posted February 27, 2009 oh and once again he joked about me seeing 'my other man' to which i said one thing about me is I have never and never will cheat ever. he didn't reply that oh no he hasnt or wont cheat ever.
Author Nagini Posted February 27, 2009 Author Posted February 27, 2009 well no Im not happy after all. I miss him.
Island Girl Posted February 28, 2009 Posted February 28, 2009 You have to expect there are going to be pangs of missing him. Even the boyfriends I dumped, who had gotten to the point that they were so whipped they made me almost physically ill, I still missed things about them. You say you'd never cheat - a good thing of course - but as long as you were with him you never would have met anyone else. Just realize it was wasting more time with a man that was never going to be your forever. And now you can meet the one that is.
Author Nagini Posted February 28, 2009 Author Posted February 28, 2009 You have to expect there are going to be pangs of missing him. Even the boyfriends I dumped, who had gotten to the point that they were so whipped they made me almost physically ill, I still missed things about them. You say you'd never cheat - a good thing of course - but as long as you were with him you never would have met anyone else. Just realize it was wasting more time with a man that was never going to be your forever. And now you can meet the one that is. But Im not leaving him yet I will see him Sunday or Wednesday.
Author Nagini Posted February 28, 2009 Author Posted February 28, 2009 NEFARIOUS Wicked in the extreme; abominable; iniquitous; atrociously villainous; execrable; detestably vile. Synonyms: villainous, wicked
Author Nagini Posted February 28, 2009 Author Posted February 28, 2009 Yes Im a completely conflicted torn wreck.
2sunny Posted February 28, 2009 Posted February 28, 2009 how good, bad, wicked, evil, nasty or ignorant a person may or may not be is only to be determined by ones' perception. it always boils down to personal preferences. what some deem normal may be totally over the top to others. bottom line for me is always whether the other is open minded or not. bottom line i am seeing is that he's continuously "busy" doing his thing - sometimes on Friday - sometimes on Saturdays... sometimes both. this leaves you out of the equation often enough that you don't feel like a priority to him. you aren't the priority. he fits you in when it's convenient for him knowing that you will say yes every time. notice he told you not to come with his "friends" gathering? i smell a rat! but it smelled bad a while back... so at least he's the same rat he was before. if he found you as his priority - he would FIND time to see you OFTEN! and he would also introduce you into his circle of friends, family and colleagues. this is bound to go no where. i wouldn't plan on having sex with him. in fact, i'd find a man that is willing to be up front, honest and doesn't leave you wondering any of this stuff that looks crummy. i'd text him right now and cancel any future plans and begin moving on knowing that there are way better choices in men out there than this guy.
2sunny Posted February 28, 2009 Posted February 28, 2009 he didn't need to be privy of your info regarding whether or not you've ever cheated. he now has reassurance that you won't see someone else as long as he's stringing you along. damn. now you gave him an even bigger upper hand. i'd follow him tomorrow night. just to know the truth - i would so do that. i think he's playing you as a fool.
Author Nagini Posted February 28, 2009 Author Posted February 28, 2009 bottom line i am seeing is that he's continuously "busy" doing his thing - sometimes on Friday - sometimes on Saturdays... sometimes both. this leaves you out of the equation often enough that you don't feel like a priority to him. you aren't the priority. he fits you in when it's convenient for him knowing that you will say yes every time. notice he told you not to come with his "friends" gathering? i smell a rat! but it smelled bad a while back... so at least he's the same rat he was before. if he found you as his priority - he would FIND time to see you OFTEN! and he would also introduce you into his circle of friends, family and colleagues. this is bound to go no where. i wouldn't plan on having sex with him. in fact, i'd find a man that is willing to be up front, honest and doesn't leave you wondering any of this stuff that looks crummy. i'd text him right now and cancel any future plans and begin moving on knowing that there are way better choices in men out there than this guy. well he already introduced me to his closest friends and family. it seems weird that when I offer to go to some gathering of people he knew decades ago that he would turn me down. he says its all guys (and from looking at his laptop --- he was sitting next to me while i read the emails about it) and that seems the case. but i said i could also be in city with my girlfriends and meet up afterwards. he said why not just plan for sunday in case he stays out late ....
Author Nagini Posted February 28, 2009 Author Posted February 28, 2009 he didn't need to be privy of your info regarding whether or not you've ever cheated. he now has reassurance that you won't see someone else as long as he's stringing you along. damn. now you gave him an even bigger upper hand. i'd follow him tomorrow night. just to know the truth - i would so do that. i think he's playing you as a fool. well he actually did give me the exact name of the restaurant but it's already slipped my mind. darn
Author Nagini Posted February 28, 2009 Author Posted February 28, 2009 - he would FIND time to see you OFTEN!. well i have gone on 3 dates with him in last two weeks before that i saw him 5 times in 8 days (one was dinner to meet his friends, and other was to go to a business meeting with him, one was him cooking me three course dinner at home, one was movie and dinner and one was fancy dinner out) so yeah that a dramatic switch and drop off.... and now that im not seeing him this weekend that will make three times in 3 weeks..... hmmm... because he calls every day or emails me i guess im getting a fake lull of being in touch a lot..............
2sunny Posted February 28, 2009 Posted February 28, 2009 well i have gone on 3 dates with him in last two weeks before that i saw him 5 times in 8 days (one was dinner to meet his friends, and other was to go to a business meeting with him, one was him cooking me three course dinner at home, one was movie and dinner and one was fancy dinner out) so yeah that a dramatic switch and drop off.... and now that im not seeing him this weekend that will make three times in 3 weeks..... hmmm... because he calls every day or emails me i guess im getting a fake lull of being in touch a lot.............. bingo! did the light bulb just now turn on?
bubblegum Posted February 28, 2009 Posted February 28, 2009 Nagini, I think what we do know is that you are not happy with how things are progressing. He changes plans on you, doesn't include you when you make it clear you'd like to be included, and is obviously saying things to indicate he wants to move things to the bedroom, but isn't DOING anything to help you feel comfortable with that. Who knows what's going on with him, but it seems that most of the time you're left in a state of worry and anxiety. Something needs to change this, and you're the only one who can change anything. I gather that you aren't ready to break up with him, so why not become busy, not available for him whenever he decides he wants to see you (as 2sunny suggests) and see what he does then?
Author Nagini Posted March 4, 2009 Author Posted March 4, 2009 we went out Sunday. just a movie and drove me home since we were in the middle of that snowstorm he called me 5 times yesterday and twice today. we spoke in the morning and i missed him call at 6PM. but again it is Tuesday, so Ill be intrigued to see what happens tonight. This is it. I just returned his call at 7 pm. No answer I told him to call me back anytime after 9 pm
Author Nagini Posted March 4, 2009 Author Posted March 4, 2009 Nagini, I think what we do know is that you are not happy with how things are progressing. He changes plans on you, doesn't include you when you make it clear you'd like to be included, and is obviously saying things to indicate he wants to move things to the bedroom, but isn't DOING anything to help you feel comfortable with that. actually he is being very cool and patient about moving things into bedroom he joked he guess it will take 10 more dates.
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