12ape Posted February 24, 2009 Posted February 24, 2009 How do I deal with a long-term relationship, breakup? It's KILLING ME!? I'm 18, shes 19. We both: Goto the same College Work at the same place Just come out of a 4 year relationship, because she didn't want to continue because she has lost that "feeling for me". When I go to bed, I can't sleep.. I just toss n' turn and have bad dreams and wake up even more upset. She now says that she is now unhappy in the relationship and... wants out.. She wanted me to be more romantic,spontaneous.. But I didn't know how to show it, or if she was being serious.. I don't know what to do, we use to be best-friends since school... I can't imagine her dating, and doing "STUFF" with another person, it's really upsetting me thinking of this and I don't want to let go of her . We have always had talks and dreams about moving in together, having pets and everything... Help.... She said - I cant help the way i feel... i dint want to lie to you and fake my feelings just so you will be happy... i want to be happy too and feel the same... but if i cant then what else can i do...things got to much for me and i couldn't cope... i'll never be able to forget how our relationship was at the beginning and all the times we argued and you lost your temper.. i can forgive.. but not forget... and that just all caught up.. i mean i use to burst into tears when you just shouted even when it wasn't at me... that's how scared i was i know your hurt... and i know you miss me... and im sorry that's all i can say... i just dont wanna lie to you and myself by faking and forcing the way i feel... cuz it will and did make me unhappy i really am sorry... I really wasn't that bad.. I did have a little bit of anger management during my teen years, but it is ok now. I cherished, loved,cared did almost everything for her.. Why is she doing this, and how can it be changed back! She now says that she feels more "free" going out with friends to places, if she wanted to go somewhere I wouldn't really stop her from going just be a little ticked off that she would be leaving me BUT I DIDN'T STOP HER GOING ANYWHERE. She would think that I am "guilt" tripping her for her to come home etc... But I did not intend to do this upon her.... I see her almost everywhere, College and Work and on the internet (MSN) just looking at her name/facebook pictures really does make me feel upset and remorseful of what happend... I really love her. Another thing is that I get on with her whole family, I don't want change .. I posted it here, because it really felt that we were married, mentally. Went to a concert last night with my friends, and I still could not get her out of my head... She was the love of my life... It makes me really upset looking around at couples having fun, and hugging/kissing...... I really want her back in my life, she also stated that she really cares for me and that she over looks others as I have been there so much for her (vise versa) and what we had.. I really want her back....
Super Nova Posted February 24, 2009 Posted February 24, 2009 Hey man, I know the feeling kind of.. I was in a 3 month deal with a girl I was crazy for and she said she wants to live the single life.. Now before you say to me that it was only 3 months and that is nothing compaired to what you are dealing with let me just say its all relative. In the end the guy whos online girlfriend breaks up with him is feeling the same as us guys who have real life in person relationships.. I will say what they all say, get over her yesterday and do it fast.. Just move on and never look back. Also dont think about her its so damn hard to not think about the person but the second you think about her just change the subject in your head.. You will get good at this and in time you will be able to really get over her. Its going to hurt like hell.. and I know it does. I had a 3 year girlfriend and she broke up with me and I felt free at last, I was happy not really upset, but you guessed it she was really upset.. As you can see where I am going,.. In your sititution you are the upset one and she is the one feeling free. Its so amazing how this works, but in the end its safe to say that its easy to fall in love but hard to have somone catch you when you fall. I thought about this every way with this new girl, and I keep asking could i have done somthing different.. What if I was more of a challange. What if what if what if.. It will drive you crazy.. Now the cool part is when you find somone alse you will get over her real fast.. You will be laughing because you will end up thinking wow if i stayed with her I would have never met this new one, who is the real love of my life.. Now the funny part is , if the new love of your life does not work out, you will be really upset but when you meet yet another person you will say, wow this is the real real love of my life etc.. Sooner or later you will find somone who feels the same about you as you do them.. Its tuff but you will and you will get married have kids, fight the sex will get old and you will probably get old together unless its the 50% that ends in divorce and you lose the kids and the house.. So good thing you broke up at your age and not when you were married with kids and find out your wife was sleeping with another man because the connection was not with you. So look at it like that man, and just so you know, I really feel for you, Its been 3 weeks and i am feeling better about my girl but I really want to think about all the stuff we did but if I do i get sad.. I just kissed this girl, and I wish i did so much more with her.. I would be hurt but in the end maybe we would still be together, here i go with the what ifs.. But good luck man, its not easy but deal with it.. if it was not for the bad feeling you feel right now there would not be any good feelings of love so give your brain a break, and thank yourself not her, for that wonderfull feeling of love that YOUR brain made for you to feel.. She was nothing more than the catalist to release your love chemicals so pat yourself (brain) on the back and say to your brain lets go find another catalist to get those chemicals released yet again..
Kage111 Posted February 24, 2009 Posted February 24, 2009 Wow, did I get drunk and write this? It's scary how similar our experiences are. All I can say is give it time. Its been almost 4 months since my ex left me. I still think about her all the time, and I miss her... but I'm definitely better. Give it time, date other people, maybe she'll see her mistake and come back, but don't wait for her.
Author 12ape Posted February 24, 2009 Author Posted February 24, 2009 Thanks for the responses, please.. Keep them coming.
mark982 Posted February 24, 2009 Posted February 24, 2009 it sounds like she's just young and wants to explore things, and i'm not talking about guys.I know that don't make you feel any better, but that's just how it is. why you beating yourself up by looking at her facebook?keep going out w/ friends, go to the gym(blow off steam).
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