jenxbunnyx05 Posted February 23, 2009 Posted February 23, 2009 Its been almost two weeks since I've seen him. He usually always calls me every night. But on Friday and Sat. I received no call at all. He's been so busy working overtime and on his off days, he's working on the house. He says how much he wants to see me, then when the day comes, it never happens. And I get so excited to see him and then I don't. Is it worth sticking around? I like him so much and am totally okay with his schedule. But is it worth staying around and waiting? He has this weekend off and says that he will make some time to hang out. When he tells me things like this, I don't make plans thinking I'm going to see him, then I don't. Then my weekend pretty much is wasted on waiting for him. He even told me last night that he was really gonna try to make time to call me today before I go to work. But he has yet to call me and I work in an hour. So I doubt I'm getting a call. I'm okay with it...but it sucks not seeing him much. I understand he's busy, but you think he's too busy to be dating? I don't mind waiting and I understand he has a lot going on, but will it ever go anywhere at this rate? I don't know what to do =[
Isolde Posted February 23, 2009 Posted February 23, 2009 Its been almost two weeks since I've seen him. He usually always calls me every night. But on Friday and Sat. I received no call at all. He's been so busy working overtime and on his off days, he's working on the house. He says how much he wants to see me, then when the day comes, it never happens. And I get so excited to see him and then I don't. Is it worth sticking around? I like him so much and am totally okay with his schedule. But is it worth staying around and waiting? He has this weekend off and says that he will make some time to hang out. When he tells me things like this, I don't make plans thinking I'm going to see him, then I don't. Then my weekend pretty much is wasted on waiting for him. He even told me last night that he was really gonna try to make time to call me today before I go to work. But he has yet to call me and I work in an hour. So I doubt I'm getting a call. I'm okay with it...but it sucks not seeing him much. I understand he's busy, but you think he's too busy to be dating? I don't mind waiting and I understand he has a lot going on, but will it ever go anywhere at this rate? I don't know what to do =[ Hmm. On the one hand he's calling frequently, which is good. On the other, it sounds like he may not be as excited as he should be about going out with you. It's tricky; it seems early to bring this up directly (which would really be the best route), but at the same time he's being kind of rude. Maybe you could just tell him that YOU'RE going to be busy this weekend. This way he sort of has to face the issue, see what I mean? Find something to do this weekend that doesn't involve him. This way you a) are not waiting around miserably and b) perhaps jolt him into realizing its been wayyy too long since you two have gone out.
crfsti Posted February 24, 2009 Posted February 24, 2009 sounds like he's missing out big time and may lose a girl that is interested in him! what part of cali are you in.....i'll take you out if you'd like
LovieDove24 Posted February 24, 2009 Posted February 24, 2009 He may be busy, but he's also not keeping his word. Even worse, he's not giving you the decency of a "warning" phone call like "Hey I know we were gonna do something tonight but x,y,z came up so I'm really sorry." Thats the bigger problem I see here. You see, Im a single mom with an 8 month old daughter, a full time job and dance lessons twice a week. BUT I still find time to spend with the ones I care about. If I say I'll do something, I usually do it. Sure things come up occasionally (probably moreso for me than the average joe) but AGAIN if I care about the person I will find the time to make a 5 minute phone call to get a rain check. You followin me here?
Author jenxbunnyx05 Posted February 24, 2009 Author Posted February 24, 2009 That's what I was thinking...it only takes a minute to make a call to let me know that we're not hanging out tonight. So that's where I get confused. He seems like he cares and misses me, but then no call, not even a txt. This leaves me waiting. I'm like waiting to see how much he actually cares to make time for me. So many people tell me that if he's really interested and he really cares then he would make the time, no matter how busy he may be. ugh.
Author jenxbunnyx05 Posted February 24, 2009 Author Posted February 24, 2009 Isolde- I was definitely thinking about doing that. Maybe he'll realize how it feels and then make an effort to see me.
carhill Posted February 24, 2009 Posted February 24, 2009 I get the sense that you think it's fair to socialize with this guy in person once a week. That's reasonable. Merely share that with him. Give him a couple weeks of no pressure to see the light. Then, if no joy, go out with that guy who has time in his busy schedule to see you on Saturday night. Just so you know, when a guy has sincere interest in a woman, he makes the time for her. It doesn't matter if he's POTUS. Look at Bill
Author jenxbunnyx05 Posted February 24, 2009 Author Posted February 24, 2009 sounds like he's missing out big time and may lose a girl that is interested in him! what part of cali are you in.....i'll take you out if you'd like i would say that he's missing out because im a good girlfriend and i have a lot to offer =]
Author jenxbunnyx05 Posted February 24, 2009 Author Posted February 24, 2009 I get the sense that you think it's fair to socialize with this guy in person once a week. That's reasonable. Merely share that with him. Give him a couple weeks of no pressure to see the light. Then, if no joy, go out with that guy who has time in his busy schedule to see you on Saturday night. Just so you know, when a guy has sincere interest in a woman, he makes the time for her. It doesn't matter if he's POTUS. Look at Bill Oh I agree. It's just disappointing. I feel like I'm the only one making an effort. I take the time to see him even though I work full time and go to school full time. Thanks!
LovieDove24 Posted February 25, 2009 Posted February 25, 2009 Oh I agree. It's just disappointing. I feel like I'm the only one making an effort. I take the time to see him even though I work full time and go to school full time. Thanks! I suggest you look back at a thread I started recently called "Four months of dating doesn't call when he says he will." You see, I was going through a very similar situation with my last boyfriend. He had a kid, was working and going to school two nights a week. Very busy and hard to "tie down" if you will. He was a very sweet guy indeed but slowly he began "forgetting" to call when he said he would. It happened three times and then the final time he forgot to call...well I never heard from him again after that! As extreme as my scenario sounds, I believe that men who can't even commit to a phone call, can't commit to a relationship. Seriously, check out my thread on it...it was a long one.
RouRou Posted February 25, 2009 Posted February 25, 2009 Its been almost two weeks since I've seen him. He usually always calls me every night. But on Friday and Sat. I received no call at all. He's been so busy working overtime and on his off days, he's working on the house. He says how much he wants to see me, then when the day comes, it never happens. And I get so excited to see him and then I don't. Is it worth sticking around? I like him so much and am totally okay with his schedule. But is it worth staying around and waiting? He has this weekend off and says that he will make some time to hang out. When he tells me things like this, I don't make plans thinking I'm going to see him, then I don't. Then my weekend pretty much is wasted on waiting for him. He even told me last night that he was really gonna try to make time to call me today before I go to work. But he has yet to call me and I work in an hour. So I doubt I'm getting a call. I'm okay with it...but it sucks not seeing him much. I understand he's busy, but you think he's too busy to be dating? I don't mind waiting and I understand he has a lot going on, but will it ever go anywhere at this rate? I don't know what to do =[ I would dump him. When a guy is interested it doesnt matter how busy he is, he will make time, even if he has to work on his house, he could ask you to chill with him while he does that. He should call when he says he will and you waiting around is a waste of your time. You obviously want more, so I would stop wasting anymore time and find someone that will give you what you need/want.
Author jenxbunnyx05 Posted March 16, 2009 Author Posted March 16, 2009 thanks! i actually backed off alot...every now and then i get a call or a txt...still doesnt mean anything and still hasnt made time... and i met someone so i think i may try to see how that goes.
boxing123 Posted March 16, 2009 Posted March 16, 2009 Good for you.. I wouldn't waste my time if I were you.
hotgelato Posted March 19, 2009 Posted March 19, 2009 I used to date an ibanker who was so "busy". He had to work during the day and go to mba school at night or something. He was sweet and called every night and when we went on a date it was sooo romantic. But, in the end, i got so frustrated and tired of waiting for him. Even if he's a busy person, he has to make time to meet up with me but he didn't. so i broke it off. He came back to my life later when it was "convenient" time for him. I shouldn't have let him play me second time around. It was a little better in terms of schedule, but i backed off too much this time and it didn't work out.
btc8 Posted March 19, 2009 Posted March 19, 2009 The type of behavior this guy is exhibiting is extremely manipulative to the OP! He's trying the control the situation by saying crap like he wants to see you, but there's just not enough time. He claims he will call you, but doesn't. You see how potentially damaging this behavior can be as it exacts its toll on you? He's trying to string you along so that you will be at his beck and call so that he can just go AWOL on you. Do NOT waste your time with this guy!! He is an ambivalent man, and these type of men are seldom good at anything but mediocrity.
Author jenxbunnyx05 Posted April 3, 2009 Author Posted April 3, 2009 The type of behavior this guy is exhibiting is extremely manipulative to the OP! He's trying the control the situation by saying crap like he wants to see you, but there's just not enough time. He claims he will call you, but doesn't. You see how potentially damaging this behavior can be as it exacts its toll on you? He's trying to string you along so that you will be at his beck and call so that he can just go AWOL on you. Do NOT waste your time with this guy!! He is an ambivalent man, and these type of men are seldom good at anything but mediocrity. It has been a while since Ive seen him. And I actually started talking to someone else who puts the time into seeing me. He doesnt know that but now that I talk to him less, he txts me alot and calls me every night. He still texts me telling me things like he misses my face and how he wants to give me a massage. Stuff like that. He'll tell me that maybe we'll get together and get coffee or something. But never happens. I get so confused. I pretty much just treathim as if hes a friend, not someone Im dating. Kinda what you were saying about how hes stringing me along. Thats how i feel. But i have never talked to him about this.
mr.dream merchant Posted April 3, 2009 Posted April 3, 2009 Yeah homeboy is stringing you along I'd say. If I was kickin it with a shorty I cared about or was interested in I'd let them know wus good, unless I was blowin her off for another female. Tell him you're not interested and get him out of your hair and give other dude a chance.
Waitress Posted April 3, 2009 Posted April 3, 2009 Jen, I totally feel your pain. The guy I've been dating has pretty much stopped seeing me without telling me. Instead, he's "really busy" at work. I do know he's been involved in a huge project but he was making the time for me for a while. The last time I saw him was a month ago. I've gotten about two or three emails since then. All, I now see, have been leading me on to wait for him. It's been very painful to actually look at this situation and see how much of my own doing it is. I gave more than him from the beginning. But I was kidding myself all along. Making excuses because he's so busy. And like you I was saying what a great guy he is and how great we are together. Now I can't kid myself anymore. The right guy for me would want to see me as much as I want to see him - maybe even more. If he was all that interested he would have made time to see me. He wouldn't have been able to keep away! I mean, c'mon, doesn't he eat? Doesn't he take a break ever??? Of course he does. He just doesn't want to do those things with me anymore. He's just too much of a coward to say so. Or, it's possible he's seeing someone else and waiting to see how that works out. I've worn myself out guessing and I gained five pounds from the depression! (Ha, depression = chinese food.) The really sad part? We were good friends before, but now I can't even talk to him. We deserve so much better Jen! Good for you for going for it!
climbergirl Posted April 4, 2009 Posted April 4, 2009 When I read your first post, I had to laugh because it sounded like we are dating the same guy. Mine works 3 jobs and just bought a foreclosed house in which he has to bring up to code to pass inspection. So I know how busy he is. He knows that I have Sat. nights off and last weekend he was suppose to work, but worked 12 hour shifts on Fri and Sunday just so he could take me out. He's on call the next two Saturdays, but is going to talk to his manager so that status can be taken off so we can see each other. My point is that no matter how busy they are, if they really are into you-they will make time. I'm glad you are on the track of getting rid of this guy. This may very well be how this guy is in general, but sounds like having a relationship with him is a waste of your time.
Cherished Posted April 4, 2009 Posted April 4, 2009 I wouldn't even bother to respond to any texts or calls from him from now on. If that is your photo, you look absolutely stunning and will have no problem getting a guy. Good luck with the new one you have on the line!
EYECANDY000 Posted April 5, 2009 Posted April 5, 2009 seems like you are making your self to available for him. Like you are right at his every call evrytime , and when he dont deliver then you feel angered towards him. I would say when he calls and texts you to ignore him and let him get a dose of his own medicine, but then you will be stooping to his level. This guy is old news, focus more on your new news.
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