tbaby82 Posted February 23, 2009 Posted February 23, 2009 This weekend my boyfriend told me some very disturbing news. He told me that he had a 3 month old baby by another girl. During the time they had sex me and him weren't together. We got back together and even moved in with each other a month after that incident happened. What hurts most is that the girl that he had the baby by has tried to ruin our relationship in the past. He said that event though the baby is here that he doesn't want anything to do with the mother. I don't trust her. Now due to this he saying to me that he needs space to think about his life. He wants to keep things cool between them because due to him not wanting anything to do with her he's kinda afraid of what she is capable of doing. I feel that it's not fair to me because I didn't do anything for him to want to seperate from me. I to have a 3 yr old by him. I do understand that he has a lot on his plate. He has no job, and he has 3 kids that he has to take care of. We have been together for 5 yrs and I dont want this to be the end. Im scared of losing him because he is a good man to me. He wants me to wait on him and i want to but i just don't know how to deal with this entire issue. The baby was born in November and he said that she told him that it was between 2 guys. So he didn't think anything else of it. He found out it was his like 3 weeks ago through an email so I know that they haven't been talking. PLZ Help me if you can give some good advice or if you've ever been in this situation. I dont wanna give up on something I know is mine. I know where his heart is and it's with me. Besides our relationship was GREAT until he had to tell me this bad news.
quankanne Posted February 23, 2009 Posted February 23, 2009 before you worry yourself sick over this, please tell me that he has actual proof (i.e., results of a paternity test HE has paid for) that this child is his. An email just don't cut it, and if this chick has a history of trying to come between the two of you, I don't doubt that she would lie about this. so ... make sure this child really is his before you make any decisions.
Citizen Erased Posted February 23, 2009 Posted February 23, 2009 Agreed. Unless your boyfriend consented to a DNA test the last time he saw her, how could she have found out?
O'Malley Posted February 24, 2009 Posted February 24, 2009 He needs to submit to a paternity test before he assumes this child is his. Until then, there's no way to know what the truth of the matter is. What reason is he unemployed, when he has three children that need to be provided for? People also don't usually ask for space if they are in love and committed to a relationship.
Author tbaby82 Posted February 24, 2009 Author Posted February 24, 2009 This weekend my boyfriend told me some very disturbing news. He told me that he had a 3 month old baby by another girl. During the time they had sex me and him weren't together. We got back together and even moved in with each other a month after that incident happened. What hurts most is that the girl that he had the baby by has tried to ruin our relationship in the past. He said that event though the baby is here that he doesn't want anything to do with the mother. I don't trust her. Now due to this he saying to me that he needs space to think about his life. He wants to keep things cool between them because due to him not wanting anything to do with her he's kinda afraid of what she is capable of doing. I feel that it's not fair to me because I didn't do anything for him to want to seperate from me. I to have a 3 yr old by him. I do understand that he has a lot on his plate. He has no job, and he has 3 kids that he has to take care of. We have been together for 5 yrs and I dont want this to be the end. Im scared of losing him because he is a good man to me. He wants me to wait on him and i want to but i just don't know how to deal with this entire issue. The baby was born in November and he said that she told him that it was between 2 guys. So he didn't think anything else of it. He found out it was his like 3 weeks ago through an email so I know that they haven't been talking. PLZ Help me if you can give some good advice or if you've ever been in this situation. I dont wanna give up on something I know is mine. I know where his heart is and it's with me. Besides our relationship was GREAT until he had to tell me this bad news. Information I didn't tell I fail to tell him what I had did 2 weeks before we moved in together. Eventhough me and him weren't together I had sex with another guy. 2 weeks after that me and my boyfriend got back together. During the time I was with the other guy he didn't pull out. He told me that it was impossible for him to have kids. Still i was scared because I knew that I was going to be back with my boyfriend later on that month. When we finally moved in we had sex. I descovered later that I was pregnnant but I didn't know weather the other guy was the father or my boyfriend. I told my boyfriend about it and he was excited. but i knew deep down that it was a possbilty that it wasn't his. I winded up terminating the pregancy because i couldn't face him and tell him what I had done. I felt bad for a while because he didn't know about the other guy. He was a little hurt due to the termination. So within that month and a hlf both of us did things to hurt each other. Im not innocent
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