zurishela Posted February 23, 2009 Posted February 23, 2009 Okay...so here is the background of me and my boyfriend. We amet over two years ago he was my manager and I his employee. We stared daying 8 months ago and we are madly in love. He is 31 and I am 20 (the age thing has nothing to do with just some info on us and we have had no issues with our age difference). Well this weekend was our first weekend away together and acutally being able to sleep with each other and live with each other and it was amazing! Well we have been talking about moving in with each other for a couple months now but really have not acted on it since my parents are VERY old fashioned! To keep in mind I have one older sister who got married in dec. so she is out and they feel that I am all that they have left. I have always told my parents that I will not make the same mistakes that my sister made when she was younger (which now i am beginning to regret because my mom is consently reminding me to that) but anywho my sister and her ex moved in with each other and my parents decided to be super parents and rescue my sister and now all of them think that living with someone is a HUGE sin. now I am a christian and so is my boyfriend but more or less how to put this yes we have had sex and we have talked about marriage but want to live with each other first...now things have been bad at home I am 20 my parents only allow me to see my bf 2 days a week and i must be home my 1230...and its getting irriating because I want to be with him and we try to find ways but me in school...well its difficult... but long story short we want to move in together he owns a house and can support me how do i break the news?
Geishawhelk Posted February 23, 2009 Posted February 23, 2009 You're 20. You're an adult. You're legally entitled to do what the heck you like. So you tell them you and your BF are moving in together. I know it sounds daunting, but it doesn't matter. They have no legal hold over you. I know you think that you don't want to hurt their feelings, you're going to upset them, you're going to cause upheavals..... OK. You either have to face this, and live your life, or never act on everything you truly feel like doing because of fear of upsetting them. Sometimes you just have to bite the bullet - because there is no easy way of doing this.
Rogue52 Posted February 23, 2009 Posted February 23, 2009 Agreed. Just tell them, but make sure that you feel moving in is what you really want. I'm not confident you're truly ready for it if you've never not lived with parents.
O'Malley Posted February 23, 2009 Posted February 23, 2009 I'd suggest living on your own (or with a platonic roommate) before committing yourself to a living situation where a partner is supporting you financially. It's far more difficult to leave a relationship when you don't have the financial means to move out. I agree that this move seems more inspired by your problems with your family's rules. Has your boyfriend been specific about when he would like to get married? Don't move in with him unless you're satisfied with the relationship in it's current state.
manugeorge Posted February 23, 2009 Posted February 23, 2009 I agree with other posters, try living on your own first with a roommate before moving in with your boyfriend, in other words, try to support yourself first, if not, it just seems like you're swapping one set of parents for another. It's rarely a good situation when someone else is picking up your cost of living tab, they tend to want to tell you how to live your life, as you can see it with your parents, don't doubt that your boyfriend will be any different, even if he is not as controlling. And again, don't compare spending one weekend with someone to living with them 24/7. Two TOTALLY different ball game. So you should think carefully about what you are getting yourself into before taking that huge step.
Lucky_One Posted February 23, 2009 Posted February 23, 2009 Who pays for your schooling? Is your BF prepared to pay for everything associated with that? Personally, being financially in someone's debt is a pretty scary place to be. Having to explain why you bought those shoes can be daunting and having to ask for $20 for Tampax and shampoo is mortifying. I wouldn't advise any young woman to be supported by a man at this stage of the game.
Author zurishela Posted February 23, 2009 Author Posted February 23, 2009 okay whoa to clear some things up i have lived on my own i was on my own form 18 to 20 and have recently moved back in because my apt. rent went up and my room mate got married and moved out and then I was no longer able to afford it on my salary. Meaning I do work. And me living with my parents is really only them providing me with a roof over my head and a bedroom to sleep in. I pay for my insurence I pay for my food my clothes even my tampax. I pay for my school pull out my loans use my own scholarships. I am on my own pretty much. and yes we have talked about when we want to get married we have a date bought the rings just hasnt proposed and it is all within a year and a half
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