mendsley Posted February 23, 2009 Posted February 23, 2009 This might be a no brainer but, how long before I should stop talking about this. This has been my main point of discussion for almost 5.5 months. I just don't know if I need to just shut up and deal with it myself or continue talking about it to ease the pain? It does seem to help when I talk but I just know friends and family are tired of hearing it. The reason I ask this is because I went down to drop off my kids to the wife and I saw some things that really bugged me and of course I want to talk about it. Maybe this can help others who are thinking the same thing??? I really am just sick and tired of all this crap Thanks, MIKE
TrustInYourself Posted February 23, 2009 Posted February 23, 2009 Talk about it here? That's what this forum is for.
skinman Posted February 24, 2009 Posted February 24, 2009 mendsley, talk about it buddy.. thats what we are here for. its only been 5.5 months since your ordeal started...dont feel bad at all some people are able to get over these difficult times much easier than other.. I for one am with you... I still feel such a loss for my family and what my POS wife has done to me and my children... Dont feel bad.. i have read that it could take years to get over all the emotional scars that the WS leaves upon us.... I know that I will find it difficult for some time to come... hang in there man we areall with you on this......... Skin
dead-dyke Posted February 24, 2009 Posted February 24, 2009 In my summation, this is completely normal. Like skinman says, it could take a while. Just write about it here, because your friends you've made here, won't be sick of hearing it, as they know what it's like. Friends and family will only have patience for it for a short time, then the 'time to get over it' comes up. Pay no mind to other peoples schedules. You'll know when you're done.
Author mendsley Posted February 24, 2009 Author Posted February 24, 2009 Well I have made another step of moving on, made sound dumb but I have deleted my MYSAPCE account. I used the MYSAPCE account as a way to be close to see what she is up to, sooooo no more. F the B She disrespected me in the worst way and I do not need that controlling my life no more. "Karma moves in two directions. If we act virtuously, the seed we plant will result in happiness. If we act nonvirtuously, suffering results" - Sakyong Mipham Definition: virtuously - In a moral manner; "he acted morally under the circumstances" | MIKE |
PWSX3 Posted February 24, 2009 Posted February 24, 2009 Something else that I have found that helps is to journal. I know guys don't supposes to do that, but it does help to write it down on paper. Gets those thoughts out so you can see them then you can hash them over in your head. Something else, don't let people say; oh it's been this amount of time, you should be over it by now. There isn't such a thing but I have also learned the more you work on yourself the easier it is to forget about that other person. I know we all love our spouses even though they have left, but why would you want someone in your life that has given up when it got tuff??????? Exchange those negative people in your life with positive people & it makes a world of difference...
Author mendsley Posted February 24, 2009 Author Posted February 24, 2009 I know we all love our spouses even though they have left, but why would you want someone in your life that has given up when it got tuff??????? You very correct when you say this, that is what is so hard to accept. The person you truly love has not worked on the trials and tribulations of marriage but rather found a replacement. That is very hard for me, I hate thinking of myself as disposable and I don't give up, I am better than that. I have also noticed that lately I have not tried to talk about it so much to everyone, except my counselor and you guys, and I feel it is helping me. I think mainly because it is not in my mind so much and so I think me not thinking about it ALL the time is allowing me to contol my thoughts.
PWSX3 Posted February 24, 2009 Posted February 24, 2009 It is easy to see the faults of the other person but we also have our own & when you start excepting that & working on them it really does help. I have also joined a lot of groups at my local church & I'm meeting lots of new people. Get out, try something you would never think you would do. I'm going country dancing this weekend, not my thing but what the heck....two girls asked me from one of my classes to go...
TrustInYourself Posted February 24, 2009 Posted February 24, 2009 Great advice! Life looks up when you begin to accept things and move forward with your own plans. It's hard at first, but it gets easier when you start realizing the possibilities. Your mindset slowly starts to change from "life is ending" to "life is just beginning". That's when the pain, fear, and loss start to change into hope, love, and a belief that there's more out there. There was a time in your life when you were a perfect, wonderful, single dude just living life. Find that guy. You love her, fine. But don't let that hold you down. Best wishes.
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