LovieDove24 Posted February 23, 2009 Posted February 23, 2009 I'm referring to online dating with match.com. You can email people who's profiles you've viewed or send them a "wink" which is sorta like just a "Hello, I've noticed you" type of thing. Now onto my question. I'd like to think I'm an above average looking girl. If I were to rate my looks out of 10 I'd give myself a solid 7. I also usually date attractive men, not gorgeous in a Brad Pitt kinda way but good looking none the less. If I were to describe my celebrity "type" it'd be someone along the lines of Emile Hirsch from the movie "Into the Wild." Anyways, for some reason I only ever get uggo's and fattys winking at me! I know I sound extremely crass and superficial but ...its just that I'm beginning to become a bit concerned. Should I be assuming that I'm only appealing to these types of people? Or is it possible that these types of men feel more "confident" in an online setting to approach me. I'm sorry ahead of time if I have offended anyone, I'm sure I have.
Toodle Posted February 23, 2009 Posted February 23, 2009 I have a very average looking friend who systematically winks at everyone he likes the look of. He then waits for winks back. Of those, he emails them all. Waits for an email back. He then meets the ones who emailed back. He essentially uses this method with girls of an attractiveness he feels is superior to his I guess. His logic is that it's a numbers game, and that at least one fo these "attractive" girls will like him. Based on that, I would say not really. But then again I don't know how typical he is of male online daters.
Jenny123 Posted February 23, 2009 Posted February 23, 2009 Hi Loviedove24, I am also on Match.com. Also get not as good looking people contact me. I think they just tend to date this way, more than a guy better loking, that doesn't have to make as much effort. Anyhowz I think I saw three eligible men on he site. Went on blinddate with the guy that caught my guy from the off-set. so far, going brilliant. I see a future with him, as does he. Going very quick and i'm happy with that:) Good luckx
BCCA Posted February 23, 2009 Posted February 23, 2009 I have a very average looking friend who systematically winks at everyone he likes the look of. He then waits for winks back. Of those, he emails them all. Waits for an email back. He then meets the ones who emailed back. He essentially uses this method with girls of an attractiveness he feels is superior to his I guess. His logic is that it's a numbers game, and that at least one fo these "attractive" girls will like him. Based on that, I would say not really. But then again I don't know how typical he is of male online daters. I've heard many men use the 'numbers' technique of just contacting anyone and everyone. As for basing your attractiveness off the people who wink at you, I wouldnt go there yet. I think most people who 'wink' are doing so because its free, simple, and an easy way to gauge interest. Also, I feel like people who have less sucess just wink at anyone. Trust me, from a mans point of view, they only women who wink at me are large and unattractive. I like to think Im an above average looking guy, 7/10 as well, and I KNOW I can do much better than that. Its good to know that Im not the only one that has this problem, though. I asked a friend of mine if I was just ugly
BobSacamento Posted February 23, 2009 Posted February 23, 2009 No you should not. Most guys I think do the numbers game. They are just fishing. I pretty much message anyone who doesn't look like a psycho and seems somewhat in shape. Sometimes pictures can lie in a good way and in terrible ways. I would Judge your hotness based on if you get a call back after the first date
sunshinegirl Posted February 24, 2009 Posted February 24, 2009 I agree with others... it's not a measure of your hotness. Beyond that, I have actually decided for myself that I won't respond to winks. In fact, I say in my profile that I'm less likely to respond to winks than a thoughtful email. So men who wink at me immediately signal that they (a) didn't read my profile or (b) lack the confidence to send me a decent, non-spammy email. If they can't man up and communicate directly in an anonymous forum where the risks are low low low, I have strong doubts they will man up in other ways. Just my opinion. But, like I said, I don't respond to winkers.
clv0116 Posted February 24, 2009 Posted February 24, 2009 If I were to rate my looks out of 10 I'd give myself a solid 7. Ever try a site like hot or not?
Girlygirl1977 Posted February 24, 2009 Posted February 24, 2009 I agree with others... it's not a measure of your hotness. Beyond that, I have actually decided for myself that I won't respond to winks. In fact, I say in my profile that I'm less likely to respond to winks than a thoughtful email. So men who wink at me immediately signal that they (a) didn't read my profile or (b) lack the confidence to send me a decent, non-spammy email. If they can't man up and communicate directly in an anonymous forum where the risks are low low low, I have strong doubts they will man up in other ways. Just my opinion. But, like I said, I don't respond to winkers. I dont necessarily agree here - winking back takes little effort and if they are "man" enough, they will then respond with a msg. The only online guy I dated for more than one date (was about 3 months and are still in touch as friends), winked at me first. He had a good profile and was attractive so I winked back and he sent a msg. But he also came up with a plan after about 3 emails each between us and we met up soon after.
sunshinegirl Posted February 24, 2009 Posted February 24, 2009 I dont necessarily agree here - winking back takes little effort and if they are "man" enough, they will then respond with a msg. The only online guy I dated for more than one date (was about 3 months and are still in touch as friends), winked at me first. He had a good profile and was attractive so I winked back and he sent a msg. But he also came up with a plan after about 3 emails each between us and we met up soon after. Right, I'm not saying no one should respond to winks, I was just saying I don't.
Isolde Posted February 24, 2009 Posted February 24, 2009 It's a sad fact that the less attractive you are the more pursuing and "work" you need to do. I figure these guys want to take their chance because they have little to lose. Also, they may not be your type but attractive to other attractive women. You never know... it's just a wink, easy to ignore.
motive2002 Posted February 24, 2009 Posted February 24, 2009 for some reason I only ever get uggo's and fattys winking at me! I know I sound extremely crass and superficial but ... Yeah it sounds totally superficial. What you could try is putting a comment in your profile.. something like "if you are an uggo or a fatty do not send me a wink" or whatever. I'm not on match so no idea how it works.
Author LovieDove24 Posted February 24, 2009 Author Posted February 24, 2009 Ever try a site like hot or not? Yeah I got a 6.7. It was really nerve wracking to be on that site though. At least on Match.com people don't flat out say whether you're ugly or not. At least I hope they don't
sunshinegirl Posted February 24, 2009 Posted February 24, 2009 Yeah I got a 6.7. It was really nerve wracking to be on that site though. At least on Match.com people don't flat out say whether you're ugly or not. At least I hope they don't Whoa, now THAT is brave. I would never put my pic up for people to judge like that.
Author LovieDove24 Posted February 24, 2009 Author Posted February 24, 2009 Honestly I am glad that I am not the only one who experiences this. Actually I'm more glad that I didn't get labeled as a super bit%h for even starting this thread. Sometimes the truth hurts. I'm a blunt girl what can I say. Anyways, I usually try and give the guys a chance. Even if he is an uggo or a fatty (ok i used those terms for the humor factor sorry and I will officially stop now). But like sunshine girl said...only if they put in the effort to send me an email as opposed to just a wink. It shows effort and allows the personality to speak for them as well. Maybe I should put that in my profile too...emails only please!
Author LovieDove24 Posted February 24, 2009 Author Posted February 24, 2009 Whoa, now THAT is brave. I would never put my pic up for people to judge like that. I also put it up about 3 years ago during the height of my vanity... had just turned 21. Didn't think I had to be that concerned. Actually I totally thought I was like a 9 at the time from all the male attention at bars. Took some livin' but I realize now it may have just been the beer haha.
Enema Posted February 24, 2009 Posted February 24, 2009 Uggo's and fatties probably think the 8's, 9's and 10's have tons of "quality" men hitting on them. So, they throw winks at the average woman, whom they think doesn't get as much attention and will be more likely to spread em.
Author LovieDove24 Posted February 24, 2009 Author Posted February 24, 2009 Yep I agree Enema. I do have that very nice quality about my look and personality too. Im definitely approachable. Well...except for when I'm on LS bit$hing about vain things that is
StartFresh Posted February 24, 2009 Posted February 24, 2009 Its because attractive guys are not as desperate and don't use such stupid things like "winking" or "poking." Attractive guys have more confidence and will do more forthright things because they feel they can. Less attractive guys (and girls) will use more passive, indirect ways of communicating in the hopes of getting someone to recipricate and then that will give them the confidence boost to make actual contact. With that said, I like to think from what I've been told that I am a fairly attractive male. I've had less attractive females...actually, a better term is less confident females do stuff like that all the time. Its a baiting tactic to boost their self confidence.
ruggy Posted February 24, 2009 Posted February 24, 2009 I always e-mail. Winking is for pussies and women.
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