Insecure, nervous and over reacting - what can I do

[jadelil25]

Im feeling very insecure at the moment and am feeling depressed.

 

I realise I have a problem and have gone to the doctors to get proffesional help. Apart from this, what else can I do to over come being/feeling like this? I really would appreciate your ideas.

 

I was abused by a family friend when I was 18, sexually, mentally and physically. It took me a long time to get out of the situation because I was scared and scared of what people will think to me.

 

I have also been through a bad break up last year and I have been badly hurt by a close friend.

 

I have a boyfriend at the moment, who says that he cares about me, wants to be there for me, likes me a lot etc. Im scared that im pushing him away tho because of my behaviour. I have freaked out him several times and been silly because he has not returned my calls or messages. I will leave it a while and then message him and say sorry for upsetting you.

 

I really do care about him too, like him a lot and want to be there for him and make him happy.

 

I really need your help on this, what can I do apart from get professional help to get over this and stop feeling so insecure?

[Chat]

Sounds like your very self destructive and have not dealt with whats happened to you.

 

You need to get serious counselling - you are forming self destructive habits in relationships that wont stop until you do - there is no other answer - you need help for what has happened to you.

 

What is the behaviour you speak of that gets him responding to you this way??

[D-1]

Hi jadelil25

I'm no pro but i'll chip in with my little bit of life's experience.

I myself have insecurites such as trust issues caused by past experiences. These issues have caused me to act in an manner that results in me pushing my loved one away.

My advice is simple-

1) Get help. Which is what you're already doing so well done.

2) If you trust this guy then open up and him then talk to him. Explain to him why you get scared/insecure when certain things arise. Ask him how it makes him feel when you get insecure. Once you start this process before you know it you will be having a very long deep conversation and as a result you will be understanding how each other feels and thinks.

 

If one of you gives up then it wasn't meant to be. If you two see the true quanlities in each other then you will work through this together. At the end of the day very few r'ships run smoothly. There will always be rough roads but as long as the couple know they will not intentionally hurt each other but may at times upset each other by their actions then the end goal is for good things.

 

Talk to him and tell him how you feel when he ignores you. Ask him why he ignores you. Come to some sort of understanding and both of you try to make the effort to correct things. Some people will say on here it's not his problem and it's yours. Maybe it is but how I see r'ships is if he does truely see the good points in you he will stick around and help you.

 

I've waffled on here. But in short carry on seeking professional help and be very HONEST with each other and KEEP TALKING! Communication is so important. In time you will both see an improvement. And if you two come out of this intact then your r'ship will be much stronger for it.