Emmortal Posted February 23, 2009 Posted February 23, 2009 Going to try to make a long story short as I just don't have the mental or emotional capacity to go through it all right now. Whirlwind romance, moved in together too soon but very, very much in love. Things start to go south. She turns out to be extremely needy and just ends up draining every ounce of emotional energy from me. I have a tendency to be a bit codependent, so her needing me to constantly prove myself just made me want to prove myself to her even more. And down, down the rabbit hole we go, for about 6 months. What ended it for me was a breach of trust, things were rocky for a little while but this is what did it in the end. Her ex from just before we got together asked her to come to his Christmas party with him, she asked me, I said "are you f'ing joking?" and she said fine. Then found out 2 weeks later they went out to a bar that night together while I was at work, no physical contact happened (as far as I know) but really, that's not the point. At that point I ended the relationship, that was just before Christmas. Since then I feel like my heart has been ripped out. I may have been the 'dumper' but it was one of the most difficult things I've ever had to do. I love her with all my heart and soul, not that she could ever see (nothing was EVER enough to show her) that but I did and still do fully and completely. My family and friends are starting to worry about me getting through this. I don't go a minute without her being in my thoughts and I just can't shake it. After a few indiscretions at first, We went NC for a while but I do some work for her boss so we still have to communicate. Recently we seemed to reach a good place and were chatting pretty well, we got together one night last week which turned into a couple days (and nights) spent together (yeah, I know, I know). Honestly though, we seemed to be moving to a place where things just might work and we could maybe sort some of this stuff out. A place where we could move forward from, albeit at a MUCH slower pace this time around. I spoke to her tonight earlier and her EX was over there, and is still there (it's 4 AM here). I feel like such a fool right now.
Chrome Barracuda Posted February 23, 2009 Posted February 23, 2009 Keep your head up and ignore her, she sounds stupid, she still was messing with the ex while with you. Some females and people in general are like that using people until they can find that old bench to sit on. Take my word for it, she did you a favor, just erase her number and keep it moving.
Author Emmortal Posted February 23, 2009 Author Posted February 23, 2009 Easier said than done. I love her and nothing that happens seems to dull those feelings. I would like nothing more than to find a way to make things work, but I think I know more and more every day that it's just not possible to be with her AND be happy. damn I hate this so much......
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