jessiecar Posted February 23, 2009 Posted February 23, 2009 Hi- I am new here and I'm going to try and keep this short so people don't get bored. Here goes... My bf and I have been together for a bit over a year. I'd say we've had a pretty good relationship up until about 6 weeks ago. This was when I decided to try taking some birth control pills. About 3 days after starting these pills, I started having severe mood swings and raging anger, which I mainly took out on him--even though there was really no logical reason for me to feel so angry. I stopped taking these pills after 9 days because neither one of us could take it anymore. I hoped that things would quickly return to normal once stopping the birth control, but they did not. I am nowhere near close to being back to normal. I guess from what I've been reading, these hormones may take quite some time to clear out of my system. Understandably, my bf has been avoiding me as much as possible these days because we have been fighting non stop. We almost never use to fight. Last Friday night was my breaking point. I was fine all day and actually thought I was really starting to feel better, and late that night I snapped again......this time worse than ever. I have I have almost literally not been able to stop sobbing in these past 24 hours and have been feeling suicidal as well. I left town and am staying with my mom for a few days--maybe a week, in order to give both him and I some space. The thing is, he is not really very understanding--or at least, doesn't seem to be, of these circumstances. It seems so unfortunate that I went on the birth control in order to benefit the both of us and instead it is tearing us apart. I'm not trying to make him seem like a bad guy, because he has always been there for me and I know this is really hard on him. But I don't know what to do and since I am not sure when my mental state will return to normal, I don't want to put him through this. Any advice is appreciated. I'm open to hearing suggestions,tips, whatever, from women and men. Thank you.
redmelon Posted February 23, 2009 Posted February 23, 2009 Did you contact your doctor? If so, what did they say about this? Sounds horrible, I am sorry. How is he not being understanding? Is it that you were being abusive to him, or just that you were emotional? Maybe a little more insight into the details of these fights would be helpful...
Author jessiecar Posted February 23, 2009 Author Posted February 23, 2009 I did not contact or go back to my doctor, which I realize was a mistake. I went through planned parenthood to get the birth control and I knew I didn't have the money to go back, so I did not call either. There hasn't been any physical abuse between us ever. It's all just been highly emotional verbal fighting--me crying hysterically and him yelling angrily. I really don't know for sure if he actually isn't being understanding or if I just don't see it because I feel so upset and negative about everything. He's certainly the type of person that doesn't like to admit when he might be wrong and hates it when anyone tries to point that out to him. Not to deny that he has never made apologies to me for anything, but they seem to be very difficult for him to do, rather rare, and take a long time.
redmelon Posted February 23, 2009 Posted February 23, 2009 Well it sounds like you should wait until you are feeling back to normal again before you make any decisions. It seems like you are very confused and feeling off balance, so that's never a good time to be making any bold moves. Give yourself a little time to get back on track and see it all more clearly. Is that doable?
Author jessiecar Posted February 23, 2009 Author Posted February 23, 2009 Yes. Sounds doable And makes sense. Thank you for your advice. I think I will just stay with my mom for a few days. Not contact him at all; no phone calls, emailing, or texting with him. And then I'll see how I feel and talk to him in about a week if I'm feeling better.
MeMyself&I Posted February 23, 2009 Posted February 23, 2009 Hi- This was when I decided to try taking some birth control pills. About 3 days after starting these pills, I started having severe mood swings and raging anger, which I mainly took out on him--even though there was really no logical reason for me to feel so angry. I stopped taking these pills after 9 days because neither one of us could take it anymore. I hoped that things would quickly return to normal once stopping the birth control, but they did not. I am nowhere near close to being back to normal. I guess from what I've been reading, these hormones may take quite some time to clear out of my system. JC, I can totally relate to this. I had not taken the BC pill since my Senior year of HS. It was okay then......no real problems. Since then the only other BC I'd been on was the IUD. Anyway, started taking the pill again in October when I got into a serious relationship. Right away started having moodswings. I tried to change the dosage and type, etc. I asked my Boyfriend to bear with me........he did pretty well. BUT in early Jan. everything was going to crap. Lots of stressors including some problems in the relationship.........nothing awful but still stressful. Anyway, I did something I sooooo regret. I broke it off with my boyfriend (now I'm not saying there weren't things wrong in the relationship). But I wish I would have waited and not been so rash in my decision. AND I know a lot of it was do to my raging hormones and emotional frame of mind. He will not talk to me and wants nothing to do with me. I hurt him badly. So please........don't break up with your man until you know it's for the RIGHT reason so you won't be like I am always questioning if it was for the WRONG reason. Maybe I would have eventually have come to the same conclusion. But now I will never know. I know one thing, I will NEVER take the BC Pill again. Awful, Awful, Awful. I hope it all works out for you. I think it's a good idea like you said to give it time. I'll be rooting for you. Flush those pills down the toilet and find an alternative method.
Author jessiecar Posted February 23, 2009 Author Posted February 23, 2009 I'm glad that someone was able to relate to my situation so well. Thank you for your encouragement and support. I will not break up with him. I love him and don't exactly want to break up with him ...I just don't want to hurt him anymore and I want things to get better. so I'll just take this break. I'm just hoping now that he wont decide to break up with me because before I left today, he made some comment about how he has to think things through and decide if it's a good idea to stay with me.
Nikki Sahagin Posted February 23, 2009 Posted February 23, 2009 I suffered this with the pill except I stayed on it for about 6 months I think. It made me angry and emotional. During one of these crazed emotional outbursts, I even hit my boyfriend. I've always thought that when you go for the pill, they shouldn't just ask you about your physical background but about whether you've had a history of depression, suicide etc because the pill does crazy things to you...
Author jessiecar Posted February 25, 2009 Author Posted February 25, 2009 I agree with that. I knew that I should probably of told the doctor that I've had a history of mental health problems, but I guess I've been trying so hard lately to tell myself I don't have those problems, that I didn't even want to bring it up to the doc. And of coarse, they didn't ask about my mental health. It's strange.
Template Posted February 25, 2009 Posted February 25, 2009 Hi- ... About 3 days after starting these pills, I started having severe mood swings and raging anger, which I mainly took out on him--even though there was really no logical reason for me to feel so angry. ... Understandably, my bf has been avoiding me as much as possible these days because we have been fighting non stop... The thing is, he is not really very understanding--or at least, doesn't seem to be, of these circumstances. ... Alright. So my question is - why do you feel he is not understanding? What kind of actions would you like him to perform or demonstrate that he is making the effort of being understanding? Listen, I've had my ex snap at me for NO REASON (hell, at times she took things that I tried to do positively and irrationally made negative excuses to rage on me), and it doesn't feel good - I just want to rage back. People tend to communicate with reciprocation. Just because you lash out at him caused by hormones, drugs, etc. - do you really expect him to just take it? What would be I ideal outcome for you when this happens? Is he the type of person that will provide that outcome for you? Think long and hard on this. Right now you both need space. For yourself, you need to get your mind and body right before making any rash decisions. If he is willing to wait, then he is a guy worth waiting for. You owe it to him, and especially YOURSELF, to be in a position to make the right decision regarding this relationship.
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