AgentSmith2009 Posted February 23, 2009 Posted February 23, 2009 My xgf and I broke up in the beginning of Dec. She broke up with me. Quick background. We were together for nearly a year. We got along GREAT. She is amazing. I love you's all the time. Talked about marriage. She said she'd marry me tomorrow if I was her same religion. We had one major issue: religion. She is a 7th Day Adventist and I'm just non-denominational Christian. She wanted me to convert. I was trying to but running into issues with it. She broke up with me three times during the year; each time because of religion. Each break up came out of the blue with no fights or arguing preceding it. This made me rather skittish and insecure about us wondering when the next break up might come. The third break up was in Sep, and the final break up came in Dec. When she broke up with me the last time, she said it was because I was too insecure. Admittedly, I had become insecure as described above but I thought it was a little unfair because I felt like she should've worked with me more to reestablish our security. One important note is that I probably became more insecure than the average guy would've in the same situation due to issues with being bullied as a kid in school. When the final break-up came, I was DEVASTATED. I loved her with all my heart. For about the next month, we had some communication, not all of it good. During the first week of January, in my heartbroken state, I did one of those stupid things that you only do in that state. Kind of crazy, but not ridiculously so. Anyway, after that, she said she didn't want to talk to me ever again. So, for the last month, we haven't talked. In the meantime, I've done A LOT to address my insecurity: counseling, seminars, talking with my pastor, etc. It has seriously made a BIG difference. I've also become a member of the 7th Day Adventist church...so we're now the same religion. That had been our one huge issue while we were together. Did it for me. Not for her. On Friday, I sent her an apology for what I did taking responsibility for everything, explaining to her what I've been doing to address my insecurity, talking about becoming a member of her church (huge deal to her) and asking her to accept an invitation to friendship. Her reply was very gracious and came about an hour after I sent her the apology. She said she forgave me and some other nice things but then said she thought it "probably" wasn't a good idea to be friends since we'd been so close. I don't know if she's dating anyone now or not. So, that didn't sound so good, though I did key on the word "probably" and what she might have subconsciously meant by that (leaving the door cracked open a little?). I thought the best thing to do since the last thing she thought of me was that I was too clingy, needy, and insecure was to not answer her for a little while. So I waited. The next day, in the afternoon, I got a text from her saying "Happy Sabbath to you, thanks for the letter, just checking to see if you got my reply..." To me, her sending me that text was very significant because if she had wanted to close the door completely and if she had NO interest, then what was the point of texting me? She could've left it with her initial reply and she wouldn't have cared that much whether or not she heard anything from me or that I got her reply. Another important point about her, she's one of those girls who responds well when she is ignored to an extent or when you don't give her your full attention and she hates it when she gets too much attention. So, I'm wondering, what does this all mean??? How should I proceed from here? I really would love to be back together with her. Any insight would be greatly appreciated!
princess Linda Posted February 23, 2009 Posted February 23, 2009 oh boy* i gotta be honest.. this whole situation is one big mess!.. it gives me a head-ache just thinking about how wrong this is.. you shouldn't change to get her back.. i know you think you've done this for yourself.. but i don't think so* and getting back together won't change anything -even if you have.. she hasn't.
Author AgentSmith2009 Posted February 23, 2009 Author Posted February 23, 2009 Thanks Linda. I know it sounds like a mess. But, I really do feel like she could totally be "the one". I've never felt for anyone else what I feel for her. Our relationship was magical. I cannot stop thinking about her. It's so difficult to go on.
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