Juno Posted February 23, 2009 Posted February 23, 2009 Let's say you had a bad break-up and your ex did not handle it well. You begin to think your ex is a real whack. As time moves on, you notice that your ex has stopped calling, texting and emailing you. Obviously has move on with their life. Is it possible to ever want this person back? Do you realize the odd behavior was just due to the break. I ask because I have not handle this break-up very well and have done some things and said some things that is truely out of character for me. I am at a point now where I am ready to accept what is, and move on. However it pains me to think that my ex with continue and always think of me as a nut case. I was hurt and did not handle this break well. Do you ever miss and want the crazies back?
loveleen Posted February 23, 2009 Posted February 23, 2009 i was the crazy ex and my ex took me back six times just to **** me over again in the end.. IMO, it's not worth it even if they beg for you back.
Truly Lost Posted February 23, 2009 Posted February 23, 2009 Every situation is different. It really depends on why you two broke up. If your ex broke up with you, all you can do is try to handle the shock as best you can. Maybe acting crazy was the only way you could handle the situation. Everyone knows the amount of pain involved in breaking up. Its the end of a relationship. No more hanging out together, having sex together, and building towards a stronger future together. Whatever you did certainly didn't cause anywhere near the pain that person caused for you, unless you got caught cheating, or verbally/physically abuse towards them. Before you consider getting back together, you have to ask yourself if this person is really worth giving a second chance. Can reconciling with your ex really mean that things will go back to being the way it was? There was a reason that the relationship ended. If the cause can't be fixed or forgiven, after time apart, then its best to let the relationship go and not convince yourself there is still a chance, especially if the other person left you for someone else. Calling, texting, emailing will only push the other person further away. It won't fix anything, unless they want to fix it. Believe me, your ex already knows you want him/her back if you attempted to contact him/her in a number of different ways. Having acceptance and refraining from contacting your ex is the only way you will heal. In time, your silence, may help in starting over with your ex, but you should never count on it. Just heal yourself. Things will get better, even if it doesn't seem like it will. You'll see.
cabarc1 Posted February 23, 2009 Posted February 23, 2009 I will say that i cried, begged, pleaded with my ex to take me back after he started seeing another girl.... he looked so repulsed by me. I did however know better than to scream, yell, insult him or the new girl only because i didn't want to be known as the pyscho ex. Even after crying and looking desperate for 3 months i finally left him alone. Did nothing but better myself physically, went back to school, have become way more mature (which he has noticed) Since then he has been making contact with me, buying me gifts, came to my work the other day and was kissing me and left me a $50 tip. Point is, he has been with that girl for 7 months and things have been going good supposedly. Even so, he tells me he is confused and thinks about me all the time and doesn't rule me out. Even while having a good gf and me acting like a desperate loser to get him back the first 3 months, he still has interest in me/cares about me and is attracted to me. You just can't give them a reason to think you are crazy, look like u are the happiest person if you ever get around them, get urself together and show them you are fine without them. Once i left him alone, he realized i was not to blame and has even told me that i was greatest person he has ever known and that he would do anything for me and that he was a terrible bf to me.......
jessiecar Posted February 23, 2009 Posted February 23, 2009 Well I've been in a similar situation because I was with a guy for 2 and 1/2 years who was a huge drug addict and alcoholic. Luckily I finally matured enough to get out of that relationship. I displayed some crazy behavior while I was with this guy. Everything from stalking him (trying to find out if he was cheating on me, which he was) to being physically abusive with him (though he was to me as well) I felt ashamed for a long time after the breakup about the things I had done and I knew that he thought I was crazy..he would tell me I was a "crazy bitch". Lol, I think he was just as crazy and had no room to talk. For a long time I hated that someone thought those things about me, but it's been over 2 years now since I brook up with that dude and I've learned it doesn't really matter what he thinks of me, even if he still thinks it of me. The only thing that matters is that I have matured and changed my behavior and would never allow myself to do those sorts of crazy things again. I would never want him back, nor would I ever even want to see him again. He was always a negative part of my life. I don't understand to this day how I ever loved him and I would never go back to that. Thank god.
Author Juno Posted February 23, 2009 Author Posted February 23, 2009 Well it's been a week for me of nc with no antics on my part. I will admit I hold out a sliver of hope that he will come back after some time has past. He use to whisper "I love you" as I slept. I heard him every time, put pretended I didn't. My only acknowledgment was with a slight movement of my body, or a gentle touch of his face. It made him smile....I know because I had one eye open:rolleyes: We did not have an abusive relationship and cheating was not involved. He is however a socially inept individual and once he forms an opinion of someone it never waivers....sigh He can handle a year or more of solitude, thinking there will never be anyone for him, thus never making an attempt to reconnect...double sigh. Anyway...still home in bed most of the time feeling absolutely horrible. Wishing he would just call. He knows this is difficult for me and I'm certain he is relishing in that fact. Oh well, atleast I'm not a crazy whacked out chick anymore...just a heartbroken one.
Emmortal Posted February 23, 2009 Posted February 23, 2009 He use to whisper "I love you" as I slept. I heard him every time, put pretended I didn't. My only acknowledgment was with a slight movement of my body, or a gentle touch of his face. It made him smile....I know because I had one eye open:rolleyes: This part made me smile. My ex has said and done some pretty crazy things over the course of this break. I've received notes from here that just made me go 'she's certifiable'. Yet I would still love to be able to be with her and hold her in my arms. I don't know that I can ever go back to what was, but it's not from a lack of want I assure you. Oh well, atleast I'm not a crazy whacked out chick anymore...just a heartbroken one. Good luck and be strong, it sounds like you're headed in the right direction. C
Author Juno Posted February 23, 2009 Author Posted February 23, 2009 This part made me smile. My ex has said and done some pretty crazy things over the course of this break. I've received notes from here that just made me go 'she's certifiable'. Yet I would still love to be able to be with her and hold her in my arms. I don't know that I can ever go back to what was, but it's not from a lack of want I assure you. Good luck and be strong, it sounds like you're headed in the right direction. C Certifiable...ha...that pretty much sums up my behavior. There is no one I'm interested in talking to or seeing. I have shut out everyone in my life. The only friend I have that stays by my side no matter what is my dog....and that's only because I provide him with kibbles. My last message to my ex expressed what a dire state I was in, and still nothing from him. Not even a text or message check to see if I was still breathing. Oh well, one day at a time. Just wish these days were not so long.
Emmortal Posted February 24, 2009 Posted February 24, 2009 My last message to my ex expressed what a dire state I was in, and still nothing from him. Not even a text or message check to see if I was still breathing. Oh well, one day at a time. Just wish these days were not so long. We all do some crazy things during a breakup sometimes. There's a lot of feelings involved and sorting them out can be very hard. I know that I've done some stupid **** during my current beak up too. The days will get easier and really, his complete lack of contact will help you to move on in the long run.
motive2002 Posted February 24, 2009 Posted February 24, 2009 My name is motive, and I am a psycho ex. It has been almost 5 months since I've contacted my ex girlfriend. She called me a psycho the last time we talked and that was the last I heard from her. Now, if you ask me, labeling someone a psycho is pretty harsh, but looking back at my behavior as she was cold rejecting me, I can see where she's coming from. I hate how break-ups hurt so much, and cause you to do irrational things. I can tell you for sure, she will never ever want me back.. ever.
cabarc1 Posted February 24, 2009 Posted February 24, 2009 What emmortal said about him not contacting you being the best thing in the long run is so true!!! The fact that my ex sends me these mixed signals only makes me hang on to a glimmer of hope. Yeah, cutting all ties from you from the get go causes horrible pain but you do move on quicker. It's been 7 months and though the pain is no where near as bad, he keeps doing things to make me wonder while he is with another girl. I will be doing so fine and then get all upset for days again. I met a great guy recently and i want so badly to like him but it terrifies me that my ex might try to come back and i end up hurting this great guy, knowing that my ex does not deserve me!!! He really doesn't, but i'm weak! Not shutting the door on you 100% is torture, he honestly did you a favor by cutting you off completely instead of using you as a crutch. I can't stand waking up everyday wondering and knowing there is still that chance because i want so badly to move on.
Author Juno Posted February 24, 2009 Author Posted February 24, 2009 What emmortal said about him not contacting you being the best thing in the long run is so true!!! The fact that my ex sends me these mixed signals only makes me hang on to a glimmer of hope. Yeah, cutting all ties from you from the get go causes horrible pain but you do move on quicker. It's been 7 months and though the pain is no where near as bad, he keeps doing things to make me wonder while he is with another girl. I will be doing so fine and then get all upset for days again. I met a great guy recently and i want so badly to like him but it terrifies me that my ex might try to come back and i end up hurting this great guy, knowing that my ex does not deserve me!!! He really doesn't, but i'm weak! Not shutting the door on you 100% is torture, he honestly did you a favor by cutting you off completely instead of using you as a crutch. I can't stand waking up everyday wondering and knowing there is still that chance because i want so badly to move on. Hopefully one day I will see his action of completely cutting me off as a favor, but today I only view it as a cold, heartless, uncaring act. How can someone within the same week tell you "I love you " repeatedly and then just shut them down. Not once calling to see how you are doing. Grrrr....I have spent so much time in crying, losing sleep, not eating, closing myself off from the rest of the world to view this as a favor. I so hope you are right and my viewpoint will change
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