iwonderwhyme Posted February 22, 2009 Share Posted February 22, 2009 I am a 24 year old woman. I have a high profile client who is about 55. To complicate matters more, I am one of HIS clients as well. We have gotten to know each other quite well over the past year and have become pretty good friends. When we first met and I told him I was getting married, he tried to convince me everytime I saw him that I shouldnt get married (I am no longer married, but for another reason which is completley unrelated). He didnt say why he thought I shouldnt get hitched... but he made it a point to say that at least once a week. A few months ago, I found myself becoming attracted to him. We would talk all the time, I would send him a random text message here or there (VERY sparingly though) and just yank his chain when he would come into the office- but nothing sexual, just picking on him and joking lightly. One week he went on vacation, and I sent him a text to say that I missed him and hoped he would come back soon. Within 30 minutes, his office manager was calling my cell phone reminding me that he was "sitting in meetings all week" and that he wanted to "make sure we were on the same page". I figured he didnt feel the same way I did, so I let it go but we of course stayed friends. We talked about it and he told me that there was "a line there" because I was his client. Then a few weeks ago, I pulled him aside to make sure I wasnt making him feel uncomfortable when he was around me, and he got really quiet and told me that if I wasnt married, he would ask me out. Ok... so I am extremely confused. One month he wants to make sure we are on the same page (and doesnt even have the guts to call me himself and tell me) then the next he tells me he would ask me out if I were single. On my birthday, he surprised me with a VERY expensive gift to do something I had always wanted to do (which of course I never expected and felt horrible about). Recently, we went to dinner together, as friends. I wasnt able to eat all of my food, so there was a half eaten piece of sandwich left on my plate. He stared at me, took the sandwich off the plate, and eats it himself (we are close, but not to the point where i would have felt comfortable eating HIS leftover sandwich) and goes "THIS IS YOUR BREAD" and continues to stare at me while eating it slowly. Weird, right???? I dont know what the hell that was all about. We hug a lot, and recently he has taken to kissing me on the cheek when he says goodbye, along with a hug. I just dont know what to make of it honestly. This guy has been thru a terrible divorce about 10 yrs ago, I dont know if hes just lonely and finds comfort in my friendship or if he is looking for something more. I know the age difference thing will freak a lot of people out, but really i dont even see that when we're together. I care a lot about him and the last thing I am seeing is his age. I am really just looking for some insight into a male mind before I get too involved. Any ideas???? Link to post Share on other sites
zurishela Posted February 23, 2009 Share Posted February 23, 2009 ok first im not a male so no insight from that...but I am 20 years old and I am dating a guy that is 11 years older than me and have been for the past 8 months now and I am madly in love with him we do not see a problem with our age differnce at all and I think that as long as neither one of you feel it should it really be a problem and we joke around about it all the time and yes alot of people do give wierd looks to us and point out that when he graduated college i was 12 but it doesnt bother us and we both also have friends that are 53 and 23 that are engaged to be married and to make it wierder he (the 53 year old) has a 30 yr old daughter but they dont mind they are happy and thats all the should matter to you and him Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted February 23, 2009 Share Posted February 23, 2009 Recently, we went to dinner together, as friends. I wasnt able to eat all of my food, so there was a half eaten piece of sandwich left on my plate. He stared at me, took the sandwich off the plate, and eats it himself (we are close, but not to the point where i would have felt comfortable eating HIS leftover sandwich) and goes "THIS IS YOUR BREAD" and continues to stare at me while eating it slowly. Weird, right???? I dont know what the hell that was all about. I'm a guy (with the attendant unwareness of what's creepy nad what's not) and I was thoroughly creeped out by this. 30 years seems huge to me. I'm 46 and happen to have a few college-aged female interns in the office. Besides me thinking that some of them look good from time to time, there's not much we have in common and I can't imagine what it would be like trying to maintain a relationship with one of them. But some people can make it work. This "bread" business, however, is sufficiently weird to make me wonder how well he's wired together and whether it would be in your interest to even try to have a relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Geishawhelk Posted February 23, 2009 Share Posted February 23, 2009 I would act professionally, haul this kicking and screaming, by the scruff of the neck, back to the client-client stage, and not take it any further. This is creeping over all kinds opf boundaries and just smacks of complications and confusion. He is wavering between your being his client, his being your client, and you being eminently f**kable if he could only get his act together and his balls to hang. Walk away form any possibility of intimacy. This is just not right. End this now, and be professional. You know it makes sense. Link to post Share on other sites
Nagini Posted February 23, 2009 Share Posted February 23, 2009 I'm a guy (with the attendant unwareness of what's creepy nad what's not) and I was thoroughly creeped out by this. 30 years seems huge to me. I'm 46 and happen to have a few college-aged female interns in the office. Besides me thinking that some of them look good from time to time, there's not much we have in common and I can't imagine what it would be like trying to maintain a relationship with one of them. But some people can make it work. This "bread" business, however, is sufficiently weird to make me wonder how well he's wired together and whether it would be in your interest to even try to have a relationship. This is your bread statement is so FREAKING weird Are you sure he didnt say this is your bread and may i Eat your liver with some fava beans and nice chianti ? In fact it is SOOOOOO weird that Im going to make it into a joke to tell my offline real world friends about. good for a laugh now run away ! Link to post Share on other sites
nicki Posted February 23, 2009 Share Posted February 23, 2009 Um, does he realize that you are no longer married? I ask because his comment of "I would ask you out if you weren't married" seems to indicate that may be the reason he hasn't asked you out. The bread comment was probably designed to be seductive in some way, like you are sharing something intimate if he eats your leftover sandwich because your mouth was on it...but, of course, it just came off as weird. Maybe the age gap there is showing itself? 9 1/2 weeks fan? If you like this guy and want to date him, then let him know you are interested. Still, thoughh, 30 years age diff AND he's (or you're) a client? Yikes, seems potentially, if not down right definitely, messy. Link to post Share on other sites
clv0116 Posted February 23, 2009 Share Posted February 23, 2009 I don't see the age thing as a big deal, although 30 years *IS* to the place where differences in health will affect a future together. The deal breaker to me is the business and pleasure mixture, particularly if one or both of you are employees of a firm. You're messing with your employers bread and butter. Or as Russians say, don't buy bread and meat in the same store. Link to post Share on other sites
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