missjackied Posted February 22, 2009 Posted February 22, 2009 I am hoping anybody can shed some light as to what is going on this guy I have been talking to. Advanced apologies for the length....here goes. So I have known this guy as an aquaintence for 9 years. In the time that I have known him I know that he is one of the sweetest, softspoken, kindest,loyal person someone could know. He has always wanted to get married and have kids. A year and a half ago he ended a 12 year relationship with his live-in girlfriend who owned/still owns a house with him. I know her too (not friends) she is a totally cold person who never wants to get married or have kids or pets. She didn't even want display signs of affection with him in public. So I was out about 3 months ago and he saw me at his friends bar and asked me for my number twice. I gave it to him and he called me the next day leaving a really sweet message. We set up a date but it was right around the holidays (which is a terrible time to try and get first dates together) and he legitimately cancelled on me because he had to go down south for work. Made it perfectly clear he was sincerely sorry and that he definitely wanted to see me. The holidays went by and I was busy too. we did throw out some flirty how ya doing txt messages back and forth since we were both really busy. I have the Single/ working mom/preschool deal. So he contacted me about 3 weeks ago and wanted to hang out. In the meantime I had a preschool project I was put in charge of having painted. He is a painter by profession so I called him to get advice. He offered to meet me at the paint store, help me pick everything out, and use his discount. We met up and did that, he wanted a big hello and goodbye hug (which he has never done before in the 9 years I have known him.) He always asks how my son is doing and compliments me about parenting. He then offered to completely gloss the project for me after it was done because he was slow right now. I was very gracious and we made tentative plans for dinner that sunday. I txted him sunday to confirm and he said he was sorry, had to cancel. I txt him back let me know when you want to reschedule. He replied "ok. for sure...will do! ;)" I haven't heard from him since. I am so confused and now I have this project that he volunteered for and I feel weird asking him about it? I am sure he is going through a lot emotionally but he also acts sooo interested in me. Any advice????
SoulSearch_CO Posted February 23, 2009 Posted February 23, 2009 Torn between two women. Well, to avoid getting yourself hurt in this scenario, it might be a good idea to tell him that you two should hold off on dating until he's finished with the first woman. If you can manage glossing the thing yourself, that's what I would do.
bean1 Posted February 23, 2009 Posted February 23, 2009 12 years with the same woman - I would treat him as if he was newly divorced, which means all the emotional stuff involved. I assume you guys are in your 30's so you know all about that deal. Perhaps he is interested, but isn't equipped to invest in a long term relationship yet. If he is a good friend/person like you say he is, then he'll hold back so as not to hurt you.
collegekid491 Posted February 23, 2009 Posted February 23, 2009 I gotta agree with soulsearch... that being said!! It could be he really has a busy schedule, or family problems, but we assume the worst. Just kinda wanna air that out there even though it sounds like he has conflicting interests, because none of us really know the answer, we just give our suggestions based on your perspective.
Author missjackied Posted February 27, 2009 Author Posted February 27, 2009 Nevermind..........I just found out he is a cokehead. I guess that explains it all.
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