Dicha7399 Posted February 22, 2009 Posted February 22, 2009 For the past year and a half, I've been dating the same guy. I thought he was amazing, and now... I'm not quite sure what's going on. He's been going through quite a bit (multiple deaths in the family within the same month, and a decrease in wages) and I've been there for him every step of the way. Now it seems as if he just doesn't care about anything. I haven't seen him since Valentine's Day. We haven't talked on the phone since the 13th, and our text messages are sporadic. I've told him through email and text messaging that I'm beginning to feel as if I'm in a long distance relationship. I understand that he's stressed out but he should at least be able to lay his head next to mine while sleeping or call to say "Can't talk, but wanted to let u know I was thinking of you"....anything. I would even settle for a text message stating "I'm alive". I noticed on facebook that instead of working late like he said on Thursday, he was at a club with friends from high school... one very good looking female posted a picture of her on his lap. I'm 100% sure that it was nothing, but it still enrages me. How could he find time to go clubbing but skip out on me......for the sixth time in a week. Last night he was supposed to spend the night, instead he sent a text message "Dding for my sister and her friends". What the hell? I love his sister.... but damn, I need some attention too. Couldn't he have just given her cab money? Or would I be selfish expecting him to say "I have to be the DD for my sister tonight, can you stay up with me?" What am I supposed to do. Here I was thinking we were ready to get engaged, and now I realize that we can't even communicate with one another, and that he'd rather do anything besides spend time with me. (side note: we have a shared bank account. It was supposed to be used to save money to take a vacation to Puerto Rico. ... instead he withdraws money until it overdrafts, leaving me to pick up the slack. I'm closing it today. I just learned that most of the big withdrawals were from an online gambling site.....and yes, he's an alchoholic if that helps you in assessing my situation).
sunshinegirl Posted February 22, 2009 Posted February 22, 2009 You saved the part about him being an alcoholic and a gambler til the end... ...are you by any chance in denial about the seriousness of those problems? They're not an afterthought to your situation. Good for you for closing the shared account. I suggest you also close out the relationship and be done with him altogether.
socialight Posted February 22, 2009 Posted February 22, 2009 yeah, you kind of beat me to it. While you are closing out the account, you might want to go ahead and run a credit report on yourself to make sure nothing truely horrible has happened. For whatever reason, sounds like he has checked out most of the way. You should cut him out completely.
OpenBook Posted February 22, 2009 Posted February 22, 2009 Alcoholic + Gambling + Recent Stressful Events + Ignoring You + Posting a Pic With Another Girl On His Lap = a guy who is ill-equipped to be in a long-term relationship with anyone. Closing the joint bank account was a good move. Now it's time for another one. Cut your losses and move on.
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