Lynn&Troy Posted February 22, 2009 Posted February 22, 2009 I have decided that it is time for me and my husband to separate and then divorce. We do not get along anymore and he is very emotionally and verbally abusive. At first it started out with him being mean and calling me out of my name and now he has called around to my job and to my school and spread vicious lies about me. I have tried to get along with him but I have been unable to. We still live together and the lease is not up until this summer so we were going to suck it up and finish up the lease and then go our separate ways. But it is impossible when he calls around and then it is hard for me to get along at school and at work. I don't know what to do. I am just going to have to find somewhere else to live I think and just go on and give notice and then move. Has anyone seen anything like this before and if so, can you give me some pointers on what to do?
Touche Posted February 22, 2009 Posted February 22, 2009 I'm not sure what kind of advice you're looking for but I was in your situation too. Basically, we just stayed out of each other's way until it was time to make the move. We hardly saw each other in the end. We just tried to stay out of each other's way. And when it came time to move, we divided up certain belongings and that was it. This doesn't have to get ugly. It's up to you how it will go. Don't let him rile you up. Stay calm. It was the toughest time of my life but I got through it and better times were ahead. You can get through it too. Sorry you're going through this. It stinks doesn't it? Hopefully you can learn from this, as I did. If a man puts you down or calls you names, DON'T EVER MARRY HIM! A man like that isn't even boyfriend material, let alone husband material. My ex was emotionally and verbally abusive too. (It even got physical a time or two.) Better times are ahead for you. Know that and get through this time the best you can. Don't lower yourself to his level. Keep your dignity.
Mountains10 Posted February 22, 2009 Posted February 22, 2009 I have decided that it is time for me and my husband to separate and then divorce. We do not get along anymore and he is very emotionally and verbally abusive. At first it started out with him being mean and calling me out of my name and now he has called around to my job and to my school and spread vicious lies about me. I have tried to get along with him but I have been unable to. We still live together and the lease is not up until this summer so we were going to suck it up and finish up the lease and then go our separate ways. But it is impossible when he calls around and then it is hard for me to get along at school and at work. I don't know what to do. I am just going to have to find somewhere else to live I think and just go on and give notice and then move. Has anyone seen anything like this before and if so, can you give me some pointers on what to do? When you say that he called around and spread vicious lies about you, do you care to elaborate? I'm just curious why out of the blue he would do this. I'm not by any means defending him, I'm just curious if you can explain what brought it on?
theROICoach Posted February 28, 2009 Posted February 28, 2009 When you get sick and tired of being sick and tired, you get up and do something about it. That's clear in your situation. You're tired of all the verbal abuse. Now you're getting a divorce. The same motto applies to your living situation. Yes, it's possible to remain in the same apartment and avoid each other but you're going to be able to cut the tension with a knife. If you can stomach feeling like you're living on a battlefield, great. But there is another choice. You can do whatever you have to (get 2 jobs if you have to) to hurry up and move into your own place. You can go stay with a friend or relative. Either way, you choose but the one thing I've learned through my own divorce is this: peace is priceless. Be well...
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