winsmith-84 Posted February 22, 2009 Posted February 22, 2009 What's the rule? On or off limits? Tell me what I should do! OK, so a while back, more than a month ago, one of my good friends broke up with his girlfriend. I'm pretty sure she broke up with him, so it wasn't like he wanted it to happen. They didn't date very long, probably for a month a most. So about a month passes after they break up, I see her at a party and she was totally coming on to me. I'm pretty sure she's really interested in me and wants a relationship. I like her too, but the only thing holding me back is the fact that she dated a good friend of mine. What should I do? Should I talk to my good friend about it? Should I ask her out knowing that my friend is bound to find out? I don't want my friend to feel bad or anything so I don't know what to do.
Geishawhelk Posted February 22, 2009 Posted February 22, 2009 Talk to your friend and at least let him know you two look as if you're possibly going to be hanging out together. He has absolutely no right to tell you, ask you or advise you not to. What you do is completely your choice and decision, and he has no part in it. But, he might try to give you an insight into her character, and it would be negative, but this would be a jaded and biased PoV, because she dumped him, so take it with a pinch of salt. Everybody is somebody else's ex- and they didn't hit it off for various reasons. That doesn't mean you won't.
pandagirl Posted February 22, 2009 Posted February 22, 2009 Talk to your friend about it first. That's the right way to go about it. He may not be very happy about it, so if you want to proceed with pursuing this girl, you have to be comfortable with the fact that your friendship may be over! Also, think about what kind of girl dumps a guy and immediately goes for his friend... My best friend once had a massive crush on this guy. I met him and we ended up fancying each other instead. The first thing I did before anything happened was talk to my friend about it. She said if he didn't like her, she'd want me to be happy, so we dated for a while and actually all hung out together! Maybe not the norm, but my friend is a special person.
Author winsmith-84 Posted February 23, 2009 Author Posted February 23, 2009 So I was talking to another one of my friends about this situation, and apparently the good friend of mine has not really gotten over her yet - or at least that's the premise. OMG, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO! I am interested in her and I want to make a move before the window of opportunity closes, but I don't want my good friend to think I took advantage of him or something or 'took away his girl' from him! I haven't talked to my good friend about his ex yet - I'm trying to figure out a way to nonchalantly bring it up.
collegekid491 Posted February 23, 2009 Posted February 23, 2009 Bro rules, don't date your buddies ex. Reason? You run the risk of losing a good friend over something that could end up being 2 week relationship bomb shell. He may even give you the green light to be nice, but a very high chance he will resent you for it.
Author winsmith-84 Posted February 23, 2009 Author Posted February 23, 2009 Bro rules, don't date your buddies ex. Reason? You run the risk of losing a good friend over something that could end up being 2 week relationship bomb shell. He may even give you the green light to be nice, but a very high chance he will resent you for it. Dude, half the people I've talked to have told me "talk to your friend and then go for it" and then half the people have told me "is it worth it to ruin a frienship over a girl?" I'm so torn as to what to do.
collegekid491 Posted February 23, 2009 Posted February 23, 2009 Dude, half the people I've talked to have told me "talk to your friend and then go for it" and then half the people have told me "is it worth it to ruin a frienship over a girl?" I'm so torn as to what to do. Just ask yourself what you value more, your friend or a shot with this girl? Not to say that if you date her you will lose your friend, but it is a risk you take. Man, this is just my opinion, this whole forum is opinions, the fact is there is no ' right answer' to these questions. Just compare the pro's and con's, make a list if you have to, and make a educated choice and stick with it.
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