I suck at making friends

[KaySaurusx]

I am 15 years old, and I have more issues than most people I know. Granted I live in a small town and I don't know more than a hundred or so people, and I'm only 15, I still have issues.

When I was little, I couldn't make friends easily. My teachers in school and counselors in camp tried to put me with other kids like me, but I never really connected well with them. Sure I had friends, but they were merely friends, not best friends that I'd share my stuffed animals with and all that little kid stuff.

I moved to a new town just in time to start 3rd grade, and the school I went into was very small-87 in my middle school graduating class. Yet I had met a girl who became my best friend (and only friend half the time) until 8th grade when I met this popular girl and we became extremely tight. Unfortunately, the relationship was verbally and emotionally abusive and she made me depressed and suicidal. She was my only friend, as she had made me alienate the rest of them, and I have always been extremely shy, so I held onto her, as most victims do in an abusive relationship.

Thankfully that ended at the end of my freshman year. But that was a terrible years since the school I go to has 150 students per grade, and I had 3 other friends besides the abusive one, who was going to another school and still made my life hell.

Now I'm halfway through my sophmore year and I have no best friend. No friend that I can tell all my secrets to and have sleepovers with. Sure I have friends, but none are really close to me. And I've had a therapist for 3 years now, but that doesn't count either.

I wish I could get more friends. The pressure of the necessity having a best friend in todays culture has even pushed me to make fake Myspaces to fill my top (lame, I know) where there should be a top 4. I just need to know if anyone else has had this problem and how they got through it. Or if there's any suggestions. Thank you.

And I apologise for the length of this; I get carried away easily.

[confused and broken]

Maybe you are special my friend

Not fitting in isnt something bad... although the world may want you to feel that way

Often people who dont connect easily with their peers are above and beyond there peers

Your writing for example is beyond an average 15 year old

Maybe there is no one worth being best friends with

hang in there if you follow your dreams you will eventually meet like minded people

and in the mean time explore joining an activity that interests you

[kapchamp]

I am in a very similar situation to you. I'm a senior at a school with a class of 70. I moved to my school during sophomore year and I don't have any best friends. I have only had one best friend, and I never see him now. I guess the one difference is that I really don't mind not being with lots of people.

 

I know that a lot of people just say "Go ahead and out yourself out there. Find people like you and make friends." This doesn't always work, especially when you are surrounded by such a small group of people. I have found success making friends by finding other hobbies outside of school. Join a club, get a job, or (best of all!) find some kind of camp or retreat to go to. Everyone there is in a new situation, and just waiting to make friends.

 

Sorry if my suggestions aren't very viable. I totally understand how difficult it can be in your situation, as I am in the same place. Just find places to go outside of school, and you won't need friends there anyway.

 

PS: College will save you, I promise. I am almost there, and I am SO PUMPED. Just stick it out, cause it will get better.

[nana yaw II]

i used to suck at making friends, but i managed to change my personality, how i think and reason, my interests and i have friends now.

 

I guess the lesson i learnt was that some personalities are better than others, and that i had to change to get anywhere in life.