How to deal with boyfriend' "showing off" his flirtiness with other girls?

[Myob12345]

I don't even know if this should be considered "flirting" but my bf keeps showing me little "quotes" of chats he exchanges with some girl that are supposed to be funny (I don't find it funny at all). The thing is, in all these screenshots/copy-pastes he always seems a bit flirty, making all those :< :x faces and laughing at all her (unfunny) jokes, joking about her "folder of nudes". He claims that he's just being nice to her yet I know he actively seeks out this girl to talk to her, and she's supposed to be "hot" from what i've heard. I suppose I just feel a bit threatened and then I end up having bad dreams over it.

 

I know that a lot of girls date guys that are a LOT worse in terms of the flirting so I guess I'm just wondering how they dont' let it get to them.

 

What's the best way to deal with this jealousy? I know its absolutely irrational as he tells me he loves me, etc, I just can't get rid of it.

 

I should add the way I'm dealing with it now is just by avoiding him for the rest of the day until I forget about it, but I can't keep doing that as it's not fair to him when he doesn't know why I'm acting that way. Yet I don't want to bring this up with him either because it just exposes my weaknesses.

[nicki]

Yes, you do expose your vulnerabilities to him. That's what being in a relationship is about. You tell him things that bother you and what you are worried about.

 

In a perfect world, he would then act on your concerns and cut out any real or perceived flirting because HE CARES ABOUT HOW YOU FEEL.

 

I am wondering if he is showing you these chats to see what you think of them. If you act like you aren't bothered, and don't say anything, then you are giving him a green light to do again, and to perhaps do more.

 

Speak up. Tell him that it bothers you, and why. Say what you said in your post. Then tell him your boundary line. Maybe you don't mind that he talks to this girl, but you do mind anything that resembles flirting.

 

I have always told my boyfriends that it is okay if they talk to a girl who is a friend, as long as they talk to her (or act) in the same way they would to/with either their own male friends or sister....no flirting going on there.

 

Talk to him and see how responds to your concern. That will tell you a lot.

 

And, just so you know, it would bother me, too, so you aren't overreacting or anything else he might tell you.

[Dexter Morgan]

Question is, why is he even having these little "cutesy" chats with other girls in the first place?

 

How to deal with him? Find someone that doesn't feel the need to put the line out in the water to see what he'll catch. Ya ya, I know..."but Dexter, its totally innocent and chatting is ok..." blah blah. Uh huh.....thats how IT starts.

[nicki]

What he said. Great advice!

[confuseddd]

First of all, he must be very insecure if he is "showing" these chats to you. Most men cover up their little descrepencies. Maybe he is trying to get your attention and you're not showing him enough? Jsut a shot in the dark.

 

I, however, would tend to lean more to the "that's just his personality and it ain't gonna change" idea.

 

Take it from me, who has been with a serious flirter for years. THey won't change and they will resent you for being angry about it.

 

To me, it is disrespect to have your man flirting openly with another woman. PERIOD, end of discussion. I just love those excuses they give, "I was just being nice or I was just being friendly." Trust me, you will get so tired of all that.

 

Is he a flirter out in public?