Goatsbreath Posted February 21, 2009 Posted February 21, 2009 I'm having one of those days. The kind where you feel bigger then the situation and you want to reach out to your ex because we are all just human. Today at work I seen someone die, I work in a hospital and see it more often then most but this one affected me. You realize how we are just humans and we all stumble through life making choices and sometimes mistakes. I feel like I want to raise above it all and contact her and be civil. I love her and I love our past friendship we had (12 years), 3 years relationship. I want to but then I turn to the bitter anger I have harbored for the things she did to me. She left me. She left me and said she wasn't ready for this and wanted to be free. Shes already dating some married guy who is seperated from his wife. Where is that likely to go, no where, but maybe that's all she wants right now. Nothing. Is she wrong for it. I'm going through a internal struggle of feeling like I want to float above the situation and just forgive everything and accept humanity and exist in it with her still a part of what I know it to be. Then my anger pulls be back down to earth and says, don't you dare. Let her extend herself, she owes you that much.
SYL Posted February 21, 2009 Posted February 21, 2009 You are not ready to extend yourself to her -- but you are getting there if you are now able to acknowledge the positive. You need more time to allow all of your feelings to arrive to (again today) indifference. Only then will you be ready to 'forgive' her.
Author Goatsbreath Posted February 21, 2009 Author Posted February 21, 2009 yeah, but should i want to get there? should I want to forgive her? Is this good for healing myself? Does this mean she just gets her way, gets to keep me in her life but do as she pleases.
SYL Posted February 21, 2009 Posted February 21, 2009 You get to decide how you want to be treated. And, yes, forgiveness will bring you peace once you are ready.
Trialbyfire Posted February 21, 2009 Posted February 21, 2009 What's stopping you from forgiving her without contact? You can do this and maybe, finally let go.
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