hermit Posted February 21, 2009 Posted February 21, 2009 Please, I'm feeling so down... This is about someone who I've liked for a long time, and then I went and messed it up. Here's the back story... http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?p=2024342#post2024342 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t179662/ Or, to make the long story v. short, I liked this guy for ages, finally summoned the courage to ask him out, we spent an evening drinking and talking loads about everything, went back to his, made out... Had really fun kinky playful sex. In some lame bid to make myself seem less desperate, I told him i didn't want a relationship. :(The next morning I wanted to get up but he pulled me back into bed and we had more laughs and cuddles. Said he wanted to stay in bed with me all day. Then went our separate ways, but I sent him kinky kind of slutty texts ... Asked if he wanted to carry on, for heavens sake!!! Argh! He said maybe some other time. You know... I kinda knew i was doing all the wrong things as i was doing them but couldn't stop myself... Anyway, here's what happened this week: Two days later I found out he'd bragged to a friend about me. Was furious, texted him, he was really apologetic and said he felt bad. I was too angry to text back. Later I saw him as he was helping me out with this project. He seemed quiet but helpful. By the end of the evening we were getting on great together. His friend was there and asked me if i wanted the seat next to him in the car (can anything be read into this?)... Saying goodbye, he reminded me he had a book that he needed to give me, and I told him to text me about it. A few days later I had a really neutral message off him just thanking me for joining his fb group. That was wednesday and I haven't heard from him since. I'm trying not to, but i can't stop thinking about him and how well we got on and how i messed it up. Guys, any insight as to what he's thinking right now, if anything? Was he just laughing at my jokes/ being nice to hide contempt? Did he really feel bad? Does he want me to get in touch? IS THERE ANY WAY I CAN MAKE THIS MESS OK AGAIN?? Really need your help... Thanks in advance... Ps, I know I'm an idiot!
jerbear Posted February 21, 2009 Posted February 21, 2009 Guys, any insight as to what he's thinking right now, if anything? Was he just laughing at my jokes/ being nice to hide contempt? Did he really feel bad? Does he want me to get in touch? IS THERE ANY WAY I CAN MAKE THIS MESS OK AGAIN?? Really need your help... Thanks in advance... Ps, I know I'm an idiot! I think he had low interests and you two are just friends. This is another notch in this book and quite frankly, treat this like a one night stand.
gopher Posted February 21, 2009 Posted February 21, 2009 This guy sounds immature and your sleeping with him so quickly, most likely led him to view you an non g/f material. And really, why would you want this to work after he bragged about sleeping with you?
carhill Posted February 21, 2009 Posted February 21, 2009 IMO, the best way to make the mess OK again is to learn from it and do something different with the next guy
LostLamb Posted February 21, 2009 Posted February 21, 2009 He bragged to his friends and contact is minimal , it was a one nighter so forget about him. Men can't cope with very sexual women
jessiecar Posted February 23, 2009 Posted February 23, 2009 He bragged to his friends and contact is minimal , it was a one nighter so forget about him. Men can't cope with very sexual women Haha. Yeah I've never understood that. Considering how sexual men are and how much they enjoy it, but once a women expresses those same interests, it's like--she's a slut, ho, not gf material. Weird to me. Why can't women like sex just as much as men? Whatever.
Island Girl Posted February 23, 2009 Posted February 23, 2009 Haha. Yeah I've never understood that. Considering how sexual men are and how much they enjoy it, but once a women expresses those same interests, it's like--she's a slut, ho, not gf material. Weird to me. Why can't women like sex just as much as men? Whatever. They can. They just have to make sure they are respected first. A guy really does want a whore in the bedroom. He just doesn't want his friends or family thinking she is when he introduces her to them.
Chrome Barracuda Posted February 23, 2009 Posted February 23, 2009 You liked him that was cool, but you slept with him too early, you could have made him wait. And not poured your emotions into it suddenly. Some men are reluctant to fall in love with even the most dime pieces of women out there. So my advice since he views you as nothing but a conquest now, is to not mess with the guy anymore. He doesnt view you as girlfriend material and doesnt sound like he make a good boyfriend anyway, by blabbing to his friend about what he did with you. I mean we know guys talk but he could have been more respectful in his description of what he did. but even then we both know what the writing on the wall is dont we?
Author hermit Posted March 1, 2009 Author Posted March 1, 2009 Ok... I don't get this. I've been taking all your advice (thanks by the way!) and haven't contacted him or anything. However... He's been contacting me. First it was just about university-related things. We met twice this week and I couldn't really read his behaviour. Then, the other night he started texting me late, sending quite flirty texts. We texted back and forth a bit, then I ended by saying I needed to get some sleep. Now I haven't heard from him in 3 days. I'm guessing he's playing games?
Nicodaemos Posted March 1, 2009 Posted March 1, 2009 first, just a quick jaunt off topic, not all guys, or women, are the same. I for one, dont look at a guy going out, gettin laid as just a guy thing, while looking at a woman doing the same as easy. Its the same. They want some company, they go and find it, being a woman, or a man, is no excuse for any kind of behavior. That said, yes, it sounds like its coming back to he wants sex again. If it went from just school, to suddenly flirty, then yea, sound like he only wants some fun. Be careful to not become that woman. I have a friend that went where you were, over a year, couldnt ever tell him bye, her kryptonite so it seems, and now she is pregnant with his kid. Not saying you gonna end that way, just as a point of reference i guess. Maybe you could turn it on him, make him your little plaything instead. But, then the prejudices of society would probably make you out as the eager loose one, while he is 'being a guy' its terribly unfair, but how it is, and hard to change. Best thought, say bye, if he gets playful again, right off, tell him, no, you were just a mistake, im really not that interested in something one night, was hoping for more, but just got caught up. If you really like him, and he shows more of a purely physical interest in you, maybe something could be salvaged, but just be careful about desires eh? I know you just got carried away in the moment, not a big deal, it happens, what is a big deal, is how you finish something, and how its remembered. Good luck, and hope i didna muck anything up, heh.
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