saturnsfall Posted February 21, 2009 Posted February 21, 2009 Has anyone on here been torn about moving? I'm faced with a big decision and I cannot make it. I have found ways to earn myself more time in making this decision. I have been offered a job in a new state. This means new people, new life. I know many of us on this forum would probably love an opportunity such as this, to be able to pack, move away and start over. Actually, a break up was my motivating factor in having applied for this job. Since then, I've been feeling a lot better. However, I've found myself in a messy matter of the heart as of late. Although, this time, I don't want to run away from it. He's a wonderful guy, and I think we just need some time with one another. A lot happened very quickly between us, and it caught us both off guard. All I want to do is pick up the phone, dial his number and know everything is ok. I can't do that though. I'm not the type who gets all upset and lets the other person know about it. I'd rather keep it to myself; rather than him knowing I'm going bananas thinking about it all. I will never let him know one tear dropped over this... ever. I don't feel like I can leave this. Is that ridiculous? Has anyone on this forum ever been faced with this type of decision? If so, what did you do about it? I keep trying to turn the tables. I try to think of myself in his shoes and him in mine. How I would feel if someone I cared for had this type of opportunity and was maybe moving away. When I think about it, it's overwhelming and sad. I have had someone move away on me before and it was a terribly unfortunate feeling. I can't make this decision alone. I've seen everyone in my family, each of my friends... all no matter the distance I had to drive to see them. It's like I'm looking for someone or something to give me the answer. To tell me what I should do and outline it all for me. I cannot make this decision. I've been trying to make it for about two months, and I'm in the exact place I was two months ago. My head tells me to go, but my heart tells me to stay for one million reasons. I'm so afraid if I don't talk to him, I'm going to run away, pack my things and take the job. Regardless of whether it's what I should do or not. I don't want to run away (for the first time ever!) I want to stay and endure this ridiculous situation. I'm so frustrated with myself. If I was him, I would want me to make the decision on my own, however I wouldn't want me to leave. I can't go, how can I? If I'm writing this to a forum full of people who I hope have some insight for me, that must mean I cannot leave.
Zapbasket Posted February 21, 2009 Posted February 21, 2009 Tough situation. I can relate directly to the turmoil involved in deciding whether or not to move away and be in new scenery among new people--taking a chance and starting over. It sounds like you're stuck because you really can't know the full equation of this new relationship without finding out where your new flame is in his thinking. You just have to put it to him: does he feel like this something he wants to pursue seriously with you? Tell him you have an opportunity to move and you want to know his take on the relationship that is growing between you. This is too important a decision not to solicit his honest assessment of the value, to him, of the flowering relationship.
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