AMAN Posted February 21, 2009 Posted February 21, 2009 Hey all, My wife and I have been married for a year and a half and we have been having a recurring problem. About every three months my wife reports she is bleeding 'down there' outside of her normal cycle. Needless to say this places extra stress on our marriage when we cannot be intimate. Early when we were dating my wife switched her birth control to a three-month on, one week off system. She heard about it from her doctor and decided to try it. I don't know if this might be the problem. this usually starts 15-20 days before her normal period, so there is around 30 days where we have no intimate contact. Needless to say this leaves me feeling really rejected, as she seems not to want to be intimate with me or want me at all durring this time. We usually only have sex 1-2 times a week anyway, so this is a really big burden on me. The problem is she refuses to go to the doctor. I practically have to force her to go, there is always an excuse as to why he cant see her. IE this time around her doctor is out of town for a week so she wont be able to see him until next week sometime. I feel really down. I just want to feel close to my wife. I have tried cuddling, rubbing her shoulders/neck, kissing her, asking for an HJ or BJ, not asking for anything at all, even staying completely away from her. It always ends up the same, I feel rejected and depressed, she doesn't see to care because 'There's nothing she can do about it' What should I do, is there anything I haven't tried? I just don't want to feel as alone as I do right now.
QueenZ Posted February 21, 2009 Posted February 21, 2009 I'm sorry, and I can totally understand how this must make you feel. But when you say that she refuses to go to the doctor, does this mean that you've taken the time to sit her down and tell her that the lack of intimacy is really hurting you? By your words I can tell this isn't just about not having sex for a month. Ultimately, it's about feeling rejected, and not having that closeness with your wife... I am experiencing the same thing with my fiance, and it's so hard. I always thought men had sex on the brain 24/7... boy was I wrong. Some advice coming from a woman, just TALK to her... tell her everything you've written here. TELL her you feel rejected, tell her it's making you sad. She needs to hear it, and it's best to fix these problems while they're fresh! Just speak from your heart, and she'll understand. Take care, and I wish you the best... -Z
quankanne Posted February 21, 2009 Posted February 21, 2009 at the risk of sounding like a cold-hearted harpy, your immediate concern should be about her bleeding problem, not about the lack of sex! schedule her appointments, slap her *ss in the car and take her to the doctor, no fussing allowed from her whatsoever. This is something serious that needs to be handled PROPERLY so that you can get back to living your lives. my guess is that once this is solved, your intimate life will improve vastly ...
Shehe Posted March 2, 2009 Posted March 2, 2009 I totally understand your frustration but your need to focus on trying to figure out your wife's health issues. Force her to go to the doctor or even better you take her. As someone else pointed out this is serious and needs to handled right away. At this point your lack of intimacy is secondary.
Geishawhelk Posted March 2, 2009 Posted March 2, 2009 At the risk of getting too personal - have you seen this intermediary bleed? Is she buying more tampons? I can't find anything about this three-month on one week off tablet anywhere.... never heard of it....what's it called? The reason I ask is that quite frankly, if the only thing you have to go on is your wife's word, and no other evidence, it might be that she's off sex and is looking for anything feasible to give you a reason - whereas the real reason is that she's off sex - and off you.... look forward to a response......
MSUE Posted March 2, 2009 Posted March 2, 2009 Geisha its called seasonale http://www.seasonale.com/TakingSeasonale/FrequentlyAskedQuestions.aspx additional bleeding is a rather common side effect.
Geishawhelk Posted March 2, 2009 Posted March 2, 2009 Oh yuk! That just sounds the worst possible stuff to be putting down your neck! It's one I'd steer clear of. You know why I think the doc recommended it? Probably because they get a big fat financial bonus for doing so. And I'm not being cymnical. It's an incentive all pahrmaceutical companies use to get their products used..... It looks like the most dreadful contraceptive to start off with! I would try my best to convince her to come off it bloody quick time.... Thanks for the info, jasminetea.....(& MSUE)
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