kapchamp Posted February 21, 2009 Posted February 21, 2009 I know my story is not sad or critical, but it has been bothering/worrying me for a while. I am a senior in high school, and I moved here in 10th grade. It is a very small school, and everyone has been friends since kindergarten. I am writing this on a Friday night because, like every Friday, I am not doing anything. The thing that worries me is that I don't even care if I have anyone to hang out with. I stay in close contact with my old friends, but I obviously never see them in person. I played football, and got along with my teammates great. I have plenty of friends at school too, but I never do anything outside of school. I have never had a girlfriend either, though I went one one date with a friend this year and then she just disappeared. Once again, this doesn't really bother me, but I would do anything to have just one person who I can call a close friend here. I think that I am alright, but I don't know anybody who doesn't have any friends. I am not antisocial, but I am just not compelled to do something. Is this going to kill me when summer comes? I guess I am just wondering if this is bad for me, because I spend pretty much all of my free time in my room relaxing. I should make friends, but I also would just feel awkward pushing myself in there. Any comments are appreciated. Thank you!
Geishawhelk Posted February 21, 2009 Posted February 21, 2009 The generation of people of 30 years downwards are part of a socil phenomenon known as electronic social networking. A large number of them have - and make - new friends uniquely and solely as people they're acquainted with on the internet. These people have never met. Someimes, they don't even know each others' names, just their Forum identities, but they still consider them friends. Social interaction websites like Myspace and Facebook, create a massive network of linked people, who only link this way. A couple getting married last weekend, in the UK, actually asked the priest to aske the congregation to please not broadcast photos of their weding on the internet, but to keep them as a private and personal memento. Whether this was to preserve their official photographer's livel;ihood, or protect their own privacy, is unclear. But it was a first.... The point I'm making is that, tragically, face-to-face interaction amongst the young is becoming rarer, moe difficult and more awkward. It truly crushes my heart when we repeatedly have posts on here from college students and school kids, who do not have a single solitary clue how to talk to others. "What do I say to her, should I approach him, what does she mean when she says *this*, what is he doing...." And sadly, their written skills all to often leave a lot to be desired because either their posts are written entirely in 'text-speak' (another clue as to their usual method of communication with others) or their command of written English is to put it mildly - deplorable. I am all for encouraging people to socialise face to face, and trying to get people to put down their 'phones, ipods, laptops and online gaming consoles, and actually get out there and talk. I'm trying to tell you that unless you actually actively do this, make the effort to get out and about and just interact with other human beings, you will join the army of countless thousands of young people with a plethora of faceless acquaintances, but no actual friends to speak of. Or with.
blind_otter Posted February 21, 2009 Posted February 21, 2009 I wouldn't be overly concerned. I had a small contingent of very close friends when I was in high school but because of very protective parents I also rarely went out partying and I never had any boyfriends in high school. Also I didn't particularly feel like I was emotionally ready to be in a romantic relationship and I sincerely did want to concentrate on my studies. Besides the fact that I didn't find all that many guys in HS attractive because lets face it - adolescence is an awkward time. That said, I was a social butterfly in university. I met and knew a lot more people than I ever did in high school, and most of them were tons more interesting with more varied backgrounds. I think a lot of people blossom, socially, when they get into college because there are just a LOT more people you have access to. With that in mind, if you feel like extending yourself, you should do so. It is healthy to have IRL friends that you can actually hang out with and just do nothing, or do fun activities with. But keep in mind that HS is rough for some people, especially in a small HS, and that if you decide to go to college you will have a lot more interesting people around that will motivate you to extend yourself to associate with them. That's what happened to me, anyways. A few years after college, my life chilled out a lot and my circle of friends grew smaller again, but now I have a family to focus my attention on and I'm not really going out all that much with a young infant. But I just wanted to say, I sort of understand what you're saying, that I had a similar issue, but it resolved itself naturally when I went to college.
Author kapchamp Posted February 21, 2009 Author Posted February 21, 2009 As, I said, I am not a total computer nerd. I have friends at school, and I am fine with face-to-face interaction with other people. My problem is that I never even want to see anyone outside of school. I think that I might be a little of a misanthrope... But, I do see your point that many people do have only electronic friends. Although I do have a few of those on XBOX live, I know all of them in person too. Anyway, thank you!
signedin2008 Posted February 21, 2009 Posted February 21, 2009 I think that I am alright, but I don't know anybody who doesn't have any friends. I am not antisocial, but I am just not compelled to do something. Is this going to kill me when summer comes? I guess I am just wondering if this is bad for me, because I spend pretty much all of my free time in my room relaxing. I should make friends, but I also would just feel awkward pushing myself in there. Any comments are appreciated. Thank you! Get a summer job in the summer and chances are, you will make friends there. You're young. Don't worry, you have plenty of time to make friends in colllege and in future jobs.
signedin2008 Posted February 21, 2009 Posted February 21, 2009 My problem is that I never even want to see anyone outside of school. You don't want to see them outside of school and you don't see them outside of school. It's not like you want to see them outside of school, but you don't get to do so. So, I am a little confused. You got what you want. So, what's the problem?
Author kapchamp Posted February 22, 2009 Author Posted February 22, 2009 The problem is that I think that this is bad for me. I don't know of anyone who voluntarily avoids being with people. I guess its not really a problem, but I have a feeling that I could end up lonely or depressed down the road. Whatever, I'm not unhappy with my situation, just concermed. Thanks I guess...
confused and broken Posted February 22, 2009 Posted February 22, 2009 I wouldn't worry about it If you ever get depressed and lonely go out there and mingle with people if not enjoy your life
wiz Posted March 8, 2009 Posted March 8, 2009 i have the same problem. At school i do have some friends but because i live quite far out i have to get driven everywhere which i cant really be bothered with nor really care. i dont like talking to people on the internet or cant really be bothered goin out at the weekend. the thing is i'm not one for organising events i normally just go if i'm invited cos i dont want to pressure people going out with me if they dont want to.
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