stovepipe Posted February 20, 2009 Posted February 20, 2009 my ex and I work together....not the best idea to date someone who you work so closely with but it happened, we also didn't let it known that we were seeing each other, because that is obviously frowned upon. Anyway we had always gone to lunch together, break together, talked...well when I started NC that all stopped. I started going on breaks with different people, taking my lunch and different times...sitting at my desk with my headphones on. Well someone finally took notice and asked me about it, it caught me off guard I guess I was living in a dreamworld thinking that nobody would notice any of this and I could just go about my business never having to explain anything. I stammered through an answer...not really giving one. I said that I just started talking to an old friend and was going to lunch with them. She could tell I was caught off guard with the question and asked me if everything was alright. I said yeah and tried changing the subject. She said I was just asking because I said something about you over at her desk and she just made a face of disgust and she noticed I wasn't taking break with her. I don't even know what to do now, I wasn't prepared for the question although I should have been. I feel almost like I need to break NC to talk to her and let her know that people are asking about things....I'm just at a loss as to what to do.
BCCA Posted February 20, 2009 Posted February 20, 2009 What do you think talking to her is going to accomplish? Don't make the common mistake of convincing yourself that you have a legitimate reason to talk to her. You really dont. People at work are always going to talk, you cant go get coffee with someone without half the office thinking youre an item. Who cares what they think? Here is what to do: stay NC and dont let anything or anyone convince you to do otherwise. Its not only the best thing to do, its really your only choice. Any discussion with her is not going to go well, and probably only make it worse, and she's going to rub it in your face that you want to talk to her now.
Author stovepipe Posted February 20, 2009 Author Posted February 20, 2009 I don't think I was trying to come up with a legitimate reason to talk to her. I really don't want to talk to her, I also really don't want rumors to start. I guess this whole thing will blow over in time. I guess what I wanted to do was to come up with a answer that each of us could give to people if they asked without having to tell them the truth. The problem is this girl and I were best friends, always talking, always laughing together. But you're right I suppose, I need to stay the course and continue with what Im doing regardless of what others think.
GoneButNotForgotten Posted February 21, 2009 Posted February 21, 2009 People on average have a very short attention span, OO look a butterfly... Your answer was fine. Stick with the same story if anyone asks again and it will die out faster than you would think. While it may be office gossip for a little while. As long as it doesn't affect your work then no one is really going to push the subject. People are curious by nature. Once the curiosity passes they will forget about it.
Author stovepipe Posted February 21, 2009 Author Posted February 21, 2009 you're right....i just have to keep ignoring things. A few people at work know the situation...only my close friends there and they haven't and won't say anything to anyone. I guess I just have to ride out the storm and keep on keeping on as they say.
SYL Posted February 21, 2009 Posted February 21, 2009 Chatter dies if you don't fuel it with anything to continue. Maintain your NC and be prepared for more questions since she is drawing attention to it. Stay cool.
Author stovepipe Posted February 22, 2009 Author Posted February 22, 2009 she is drawing attention to it. When people said things about her in the past I'd just respond without saying much or basically saying I don't know. There was this slinky thing that I gave her months and months ago that she would play with all day everyday. The other day it ended back up on my desk. I just tossed it in the trash. I know she wanted a reaction out of me. I mean I still have the pictures up at my desk that her daughter drew for me. She's been through a divorce twice and has 3 kids. I have never been married and have no children. I guess I could just toss the pictures that her daughter drew for me out but I'm not that kind of person. I loved her kids. Doing childish crap that she's doing isn't the type of thing I'd do.
Recommended Posts