MinusTwo Posted February 20, 2009 Posted February 20, 2009 Hello everyone, I've posted a few times before asking for advice. My situation has been getting more and more complicated and I really need opinions/advice. Last March, I unexpectedly met a girl. She happened to be 2 months pregnant with her deceased boyfriends baby. Her boyfriend was her first love, and she found out 2 weeks after his death that she was pregnant. At this point I had no intention of dating her, but I really felt like being a support system for her. We went out every night for a couple of weeks until she flew back home. To make a long story short, over the next four months I flew out to visit her twice and we talked all day everyday. She came back to deliver her baby. I was in the delivery room with her, it was beautiful. She had decided when she first found out she was pregnant that she was going to give her baby up for adoption. She chose a great couple. Giving away her daughter was extremely hard as anyone could imagine. A month later she decided to move away to start a new school. After a lot of talking, we both decided that I would move up with her. Fast forward to now. We've been dating for almost a year. After being through so much together we have grown very close. However lately we've been having some problems. She sometimes feels that she needs to be alone to grieve in order to move on. I can understand that, I met her only two months after her boyfriends death. She feels like there's a wall inside of her that's preventing her from moving to the next level with me. Torn between her loss and her feelings for me. I don't know what to do. I told her that if she truly felt it would be better for her then I would leave. But she says her feelings of wanting me to stay with her far exceed the feelings of wanting to be alone to grieve. She says only recently has she been feeling this way. Should I just go? I care deeply for her and I only want the best for her. If my moving truly would help her to get better then I would do it. However, she doesn't really know what she wants. Will time help heal her? It has only been a little over a year since her boyfriends death, and a little over five months since giving her daughter away. Will time help her? Or do I need to leave to let her heal? Any advice would be wonderful. Thanks in advance!
Adri Ana Posted February 20, 2009 Posted February 20, 2009 She is clear about her feeling to you. She is in love with you . All she needs is just some time to win herself , to let it pass..the grief..its hard to lose a boyfriend so unexpected way . So , have some patience and stay with her . She needs your support . Do that for her .
Author MinusTwo Posted February 20, 2009 Author Posted February 20, 2009 Thanks for your response. Do you think it would be too hard for her to grieve and get over him while she is dating me though? That is her fear... and mine.
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