conehead Posted February 20, 2009 Posted February 20, 2009 For the 5 months I've known my bf, he's basically insisted on paying for everything! He says he's traditional like that. He's the first guy I've ever dated who's like that. And sometimes after he's paid many times I'd literally fight to pay lol. Anyone ever dated a guy like that? Honestly, I like it and it makes me feel cared for . Do you think a guy who likes paying for everything are usually more of the type who'd like to be a traditonal loving husband in the future? 1
Adri Ana Posted February 20, 2009 Posted February 20, 2009 Everything may be , you never know . How much honest is he ? How do you estimate him ? In a regular way ?
amymarieca Posted February 20, 2009 Posted February 20, 2009 I dated a guy like this. He was very traditional because he grew up in Poland until he was 18. I dated him when he was 34. He paid for everything- even when I got curtains for my living room, he insisted on paying for them. He even wanted to drive everywhere because he didn't think I should have to. The downside to this was that he expected me to cook for him and wait on him constantly. I would rather things be more equal than to this extreme. It works for some people, but not me. I almost thought that he was controlling in a way, but maybe I am just reading into it too much.
Surfer Dude Posted February 20, 2009 Posted February 20, 2009 Like the previous poster said, expect the guy to make you clean and cook for him. The traditional types are like that. You're american right? you have that saying "there's no such thing as a free lunch".
Lizzie60 Posted February 20, 2009 Posted February 20, 2009 I just met a guy like this about a month ago.. we went on 4 dates .. and it's like that.. I can't pay for anything.. oh well.. I don't argue too much.. .. I know he's got money.. so why not.. if he insists.. Let him pay!... Enjoy!
carhill Posted February 21, 2009 Posted February 21, 2009 I'm imagining the scene where he snaps his fingers and says "Lizzie, I'll have that steak and lobster now" and Lizzie picks up the phone to make a reservation Yes, OP, a few women dated a guy like that. One married him. That would be me. I cook, iron and do laundry too. 20 years of bachelor life teaches a man many skills
Author conehead Posted February 21, 2009 Author Posted February 21, 2009 To the posters who said he'd prob expect me to cook and clean, well so far he hasn't hinted at that at all! Yes I'm American and so is he. In fact, he already knows I cant cook for cr*p lol and he's told me that he always cooks for his nana and he's looking for a time to cook for me (he said he's gonna have to brush up on his cooking skills first lol). He always tells me to not worry about it whenever I try to help him do dishes or clean up the table or make his made, etc. He does it himself. That being said, we don't even live together yet....do you think things might change if we start living together?! hm....
carhill Posted February 21, 2009 Posted February 21, 2009 OP, you'll be bored soon enough, at least if you're anything like my wife Seriously, if he had a strong female influence in his life as well as a stable father, chances are what you see is what you'll get, if my life has been any indicator. I didn't change in those regards at all after getting married, though my wife did start paying for some of our fun stuff, since she earns more than I do.
collegekid491 Posted February 21, 2009 Posted February 21, 2009 Carhill is right about the traditional up bringing really have a big difference, as well as having older sisters, for me, was a huge factor as well. But, its kinda funny, because its so simple to have some chivalry, I mean honestly, If guys weren't such jerks I wouldn't have such a easy time!!!
calazhage Posted February 21, 2009 Posted February 21, 2009 It's strange.. paying is the "gentlemanly" thing to do.. Then I see seemingly good women fall in love with guys who cheat, are broke, and maybe even steal from them..
chrislovestosurf Posted February 21, 2009 Posted February 21, 2009 hes probably insecure, not that thats a big deal. However you really should INSIST on paying every once in awhile. Its just the right thing to do. If you have a paying job then you should throw him some cash. If he refuses do it anyway.
socialight Posted February 21, 2009 Posted February 21, 2009 color me clueless I guess, because that was the way I was raised as well. I pay for everything when I go out with a girl. Only possible exception is if she wanders off to the bar and comes back with 2 drinks. And for the record, paying for everything entitles you to nothing. If you are with a good girl, it's considered a privelege. A good girl never asks for anything, and a good guy pays for everything
Trialbyfire Posted February 21, 2009 Posted February 21, 2009 Yes I have dated men like this and it's annoying as hell.
Enema Posted February 21, 2009 Posted February 21, 2009 Maybe he has low self worth and doesn't think he's impressive enough to date you just on his own merits.
carhill Posted February 21, 2009 Posted February 21, 2009 It's strange.. paying is the "gentlemanly" thing to do.. Then I see seemingly good women fall in love with guys who cheat, are broke, and maybe even steal from them.. Yes, and it's a great filter
blondesmiler Posted February 21, 2009 Posted February 21, 2009 Ever dated a guy who absolutely insists on paying everything?! unfortunately, not yet!! lmao (just kidding) no I haven't met anyone like that here in the UK
Author conehead Posted February 21, 2009 Author Posted February 21, 2009 Interesting point to those who brought up upbringing. I never even thought about that lol. My 2 ex bfs who gladly let me pay were both from somewhat broken households where their parents were divorced and they weren't really family people. My current bf though has parents who are still together and he is REALLY close to both his mom and dad. He also has a younger sister that he kind of spoils lol. Plus he lives with his great grandmother and takes care of her. I hope he is the kind of guy like Carhill who is simply just great without any catches lol . And yes I do INSIST on paying every now and then. It's kind of funny because the only way I can do that is if I grab the check before he does and whip his wallet away lol. And I'm like 'you ALWAYS pay, let me pay this time!' lol. My sister also dates a guy who is insisting on paying everything and she said for the most part she doesnt fight it and lets him pay but for some reason eventhough it's probably the ladylike thing for me to do haha, I just can't get myself to overly freeload off him like that. That being said, I'd say he pays for like 80% of the time (the other 20% I pay only because I force him to let me) lol.
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