Cmgeary Posted February 20, 2009 Posted February 20, 2009 Im 16, and ive known this girl most of my life. Me and her dated a while back, and then we moved to different schools. We finally remet in highschool and started talking. I tried to get back with her but she wasnt digging it so i moved on. A whole year later we started talking again and I wrote her this long note to notice how i felt for her. she talked to me and said it wouldnt work but i pushed her to trying. so we started dating but not after long she wanted to break up so we did. but i know she likes me because she talks like it and acts like it. but when we get in person shes really shy and gives me mixed signals. i realllllly like this girl and have always had a thing for her. i know me and her could have a relationship but i dont know what to do with her. how do i work this out?
Author Cmgeary Posted February 20, 2009 Author Posted February 20, 2009 we talk everyday by texting or myspace. and we usually see eachother alot in school. we have chemistry when we talk but sometimes she gives me weird signals and when i start talking about dating thats when they come about. i wanna be with her, i know i do. but the problem is how do i get her to fall for me, or to give me a chance at this relationship. shes worth my time and im willing to almost anything to be with her. it feels so right when im with her just i need some advice! pleaseee help anything helps
DavidH Posted February 20, 2009 Posted February 20, 2009 you dont tell girls how much you like them before you've actually been dating a while. that was bad. they aren't going to like you just because you say you like them. In fact, id have to guess that vesting so much in a 'relationship' like that, she would feel suffocated, obligated, pressured, and generally not attracted to someone so INTENT on something without actually having real chemistry - she's probably saying "wtf? why is he doing this unless im just a knock-out... in that case, I don't want to just be his dick toy" she probably sees you as a doormat/friend/niceguy/friend. She probably doesn't want to face social awkwardness now that you guys are in the same school and friends. I dont think she sees you as a man. If she did, then all you had to do was ask her out and be chill, without acting like shes the creepy center of your life.
DavidH Posted February 20, 2009 Posted February 20, 2009 I say forget her, date someone else so that she knows you're not pathetic. date a couple people, just take them out to have a good time for a few nights. Grow a little as a person who has dated a few. After not talking to her for a while, go back and ask her out without pressuring her. stop making yourself so available for idle friend chitchat, it gets you nowhere. But don't be a jerk.
collegekid491 Posted February 21, 2009 Posted February 21, 2009 Well I hate to be the bearer of bad news... but I myself had this issue in high school. She doesn't want a relationship, your in the 'friend zone'. She may seem to be interested in you but its only because she's relaxed around you, that or she does like you but WON'T date you for fear that it will ruin that friendship and right now thats more important to her. Trust me, you pressure her, you will lose friendship too. Ask once, if she turns you down, DON'T ASK AGAIN. It will aggravate her. On the bright side though, I am currently dating my high school sweet heart 4 years after graduation. The thing is, if you know her so well, and theirs so much chemistry, she knows it too, but if you rush it then you give the illusion that its only because you 'want something in return'. Your friends, you have fun together, the only thing your missing out on is some physical lovin, just be content and patient and it could form into something even more special then it is now
MN randomguy Posted February 21, 2009 Posted February 21, 2009 shes worth my time and im willing to almost anything to be with her. it feels so right when im with her just i need some advice! pleaseee help Dude, You are infatuated. You need to relax. So, this girl said she doesn't want to date you. If you care about her you won't push her. Maybe she's insecure and likes the attention you give her. She's using you and you're attempting to use her. Quit with all of the email, text, myspace, smoke signals or however else you kids stalk each other these days. You're 16, you're gonna meet a lot of girls that aren't so into you for whatever reason. Occupy yourself with something else.
chrislovestosurf Posted February 21, 2009 Posted February 21, 2009 you have plenty of time young master.. at 16 just hook up with her friends instead, she'll probably get jealous and want you once you do that!
Author Cmgeary Posted February 21, 2009 Author Posted February 21, 2009 thanks. you really did help it out.. i can understand ive been pressuring her, maybe i should back up a little bit. im not centered around her, we just have chemistry and i have a big crush on her. and i tried dating someone else and when i did the girl noticed it and said she wanted to be with me. so i let loose from my relationship after a week or so of her telling me that, and i asked her on a date and she avoided me for a while. now she wants to hang out - or so she says - but i think ill be back into the same predicament. we talk really well and she talks different now and actually seems kinda interested. i havent mentioned dating to her since we talked about the break up a while back. i think shes starting to give in but then again she gives me mixed signals. you may be right about finding another girl and i maybe should but i think shes worth the wait
DavidH Posted February 21, 2009 Posted February 21, 2009 how long after you were broke up with your "went on a few dates" jealousy pick... did it take for you to ask your crush out?
Surfer Dude Posted February 21, 2009 Posted February 21, 2009 If it isn't oneitis... at your age you should be more concerned with bedding as many girls as possible, instead of worrying about an exclusive relationship with this one particular chick. Once you get other girls tho, this one will start chasing you. That's life.
SilkLeaves Posted February 21, 2009 Posted February 21, 2009 It seems like you're regarding your feelings towards her as the only ones that matter, and that there must be something wrong with her if she doesn't want to be with you. Surely if you began a relationship, you would expect her to want you as much as you want her? It's not as though you can like a girl and simply because you want her, she will want you back. These things have to be reciprocated and equal for them to work. You sound like how some of my guy friends did not so long ago when I was your age (I'm not that far off it now). I can give you the girl's perspective on this - you're a friend, a nice guy, who at first seems pretty romantic in expressing your feelings. This is new to her, so she figures that she should give you a chance, then maybe the feelings will develop over time. It's so much easier for her to feel these feelings when she isn't with you directly (over the internet or texting you can be whoever she wants you to be), so thats why she may seem more flirty when you talk to her on myspace or whatever. It's such a common problem, people get very friendly online and then when they meet up it's like 'Um...so...hi .' because technically you don't know each other very well, just the online persona. I personally think that this situation is a bit of a no-hoper. There really isn't any way that she's going to like you enough to go out with you just through you...well, stalking her. That very rarely works. If anything, it will put her off, make her stressed and guilty and inclined to be hostile towards you. The best thing you can do is give up, even if it's just for a while, and move onto other girls. If there were some deep feelings that she's harbouring (and sorry but I doubt there is from the info you've given us) then once you give her space she will realise what she feels about you one way or the other. I think the best thing that you can do is just spare your own feelings and move on, stop pestering this girl as though going out with you is some duty that she isn't fulfilling and find a girl who LIKES you. Be happy and enjoy reciprocated love etc. Hope something works out for you in the end!
Frankasy Posted February 21, 2009 Posted February 21, 2009 If it isn't oneitis... at your age you should be more concerned with bedding as many girls as possible, instead of worrying about an exclusive relationship with this one particular chick. Once you get other girls tho, this one will start chasing you. That's life. I know but it happens sometimes. It happened to me too because the girl in my life was really special. It's not very common but it happens. As for advice for the author of this thread, dude I'm as old as you and judging by your post it sorta looks like we have the same mind too. In fact I was in your situation not to long ago, I really loved this girl, couldn't get her off my mind etc etc and she rejected me once. Afterwords I tried to gain her trust and make myself the guy of her dreams. In the end we fought a lot, she ruined that image that I had of us and in the end told me that I had been mistaken regarding her wanting me as a bf although I had thousands of signals that she was interested in me. So believe me on this one, if she said no once that don't bother anymore no matter how hard it might be to let her go. Just think of this, you've been rejected once so the second time wouldn't be that hard since you've already been through it once. I was in your exact situation like I said so I'm pretty sure about this.
blondesmiler Posted February 21, 2009 Posted February 21, 2009 You cannot make anyone do anything All you can do is be the best you can if it works great if not someone else will take note and I would chill out a bit, relax take relationships in your stride, you've got years to get involved with someone. Take a look around at what else is out there.
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