lisa hanif Posted February 20, 2009 Posted February 20, 2009 hi everyone... i really need an advice.. im so sad cause only now i realise that i chose the wrong man...i know hes not he right person for me from the beginning but i thought i could change him...that is my biggest mistake... so for single people out there..... please dont do the same mistake as me... im not happy with my husband..he cheated on me once... even though he try so hard to win my heart back... but its not the same anymore..... its not just about the cheating...he never really ever love me...i just know.. and sure bout that... he never see me as a special person...we are so different and im so lonely in this marriage... im so hopelessly romantic and he is just not the right guy for me...... i think a lot of other people are having this kind of problem too... now im sacrifying my happiness for my children,... .. even though now my husband is starting to change and appreciates me more than ever... but i think its too late now... this is our seventh year together.. .i used to have one guy that really nice and loves me but i rejected him...but now i realise how foolish i was to do that... now i cant stop thinking bout him... i keep thinking how happy we could be together.. i know this is wrong but you know sometimes our heart just dont let us be right... hes married now... its too complicated... ... i keep thinking if i could turn back time...and choose him instead of my husband and i keep wishing that well be together one day... this is crazy... i never feel so sure bout my feelings towards anyone ever before... hes the one that i really want... i also have other guys whos trying to win my heart even now but i only want him...only him..and only him... i tell everything to my husband...everything..... hes trying to help me to forget bout this guy by treating me good... but its hard when i dont feel anything towards my husband anymore... i ask my husband for a divorce but he say hell never ever let me go no matter what i wish the guy the best and happiness...the problem is now how to get over this guy? now i think i have to learn living without love... cause i can not love my husband anymore and at the same time i know ill never get this guy cause hes happily married now.....and im sure i cant love anyone else anymore... for you people who have someone who really appreciates you... dont let them go...choose the person who loves you the most..not the person you love the most...
readabook2 Posted February 20, 2009 Posted February 20, 2009 WOW! you seem like an amazing person that you would stay with your husband for your children! My only advice for you is don't ever EVER give up on love! you never know what tomorrow will bring!! I know this is so cliche but if it is meant to be I really think your paths will cross and you'll be with who you were meant to be with! So don't give up!
Author lisa hanif Posted February 20, 2009 Author Posted February 20, 2009 thanks readabook...just have to deal with it...no matter what...
NewSunrise Posted February 23, 2009 Posted February 23, 2009 Your post seems to seek support for a "potential" reason to have an affair with this OM who is also married. At what point before your marriage did you ever realize you made a mistake? You realization of such mistake seems to occur in your 7th year of marriage. It begs to reason that perhaps you and H stalled in the "growth" department which may contribute to your unhappiness. Part of happy relationship is growing and adjusting to each other's needs. YOU and your H also need to grow independently from each other---redefining yourselves individually outside the marriage. Complacency is as close as you can get to death, bland and boring. So this OM who is also married offers "NEW" and exciting experience. Heck, I'd love to have a new set of wheels. But, there's a price to pay. Marriage doesn't have to be a sacrifice. But as long as you you use this as opposed to compromise, you won't be happy and you'll continue to yearn to meet those needs, shutting your husband out. Consider yourself lucky that your husband is standing by to do what he can for the marriage and you. So until you're willing to pay the price for a new set of wheels (OM), you better reassess yourself and those who will be impacted long-term. Once you test drive it, it'll be too late. If you haven't, give counseling a try. Good luck.
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