allieapplesauce Posted February 20, 2009 Posted February 20, 2009 I have a question, probably for the guys out there. I've been burned and I'm having a hard time letting myself get involved for fear that they'll just up and leave without any warning again. I'm hoping this time is different. I don't want to bring up the topic or anything of where we stand because at this point we've only gone out 4 times in about 3 weeks and it's too soon to really say we're going to be committed. I want to get to know this guy, but I'm a little scared. So, are there some signs to tell if the guy is for real, or just a player waiting around until the next best thing? What can I be looking for? Thanks!
Smack02 Posted February 20, 2009 Posted February 20, 2009 Hi, If you really want him back be cautious that you do not overindulge in your efforts. Guys are found of having challenges, but after too long they may feel worthlessness with drawing attentions to elsewhere. Just identify his limit of chasing you and be ready for your turn to react positively at the correct moment.
Author allieapplesauce Posted February 20, 2009 Author Posted February 20, 2009 This isn't about wanting anybody back. This is just about if there's any way to tell the difference between a guy who may genuinely want to settle down vs the one that acts like they do but are just going to disappear as soon as they get what they want. I wanna take things somewhat slow. He's sent me flowers, calls every day, tells me I'm gorgous, cute, told me he likes me, invited me to his family gathering for a baptism after party thing, but also has already asked me to come stay with him...and I told him that was too fast after only 3 dates and I don't know if that's normal (prob normal i'm guessing). He seems to really really like me and I guess I'm having a hard time believing that to be true after what other guys have done to me. But the last dude i dated 5 months never tried anything on me...in hindsight i see more than i did when i was part of the picture. but these 2 guys are drastically different and unless it's just a fleeting moment, i instantly felt something for this new guy and i just don't really know how to approach this.
Island Girl Posted February 20, 2009 Posted February 20, 2009 You have said yourself the two guys are vastly different. It really isn't a good idea to compare them anyway since they are two different people. From the sound of it he does really like you. I wouldn't sleep with him until you know him much better. And you can tell if he is really into you by his patterns of behavior. This takes time which you have plenty of. Just don't rush into the physical part of the relationship while you are still unsure. Let him show you he cares and is getting to know you as you get to know him. Go with the flow so to speak and ENJOY yourself. Don't concentrate so much on what he might do. Concentrate on the things he is doing instead.
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