Myob12345 Posted February 20, 2009 Posted February 20, 2009 So I had a bad past experience with an ex boyfriend and him still liking his HS crush (and talking to her and lying about her) while we were dating. It's not a very good feeling when you feel like you're the "back-up" girl, or that you're never going to live up to the intense feelings he had for "the one that got away". I also have guy friends in the same situations (dating a girl, but still liking their HS gfs/crushes). It's like they put this girl they couldn't get on a pedestal just because of the idealistic nature of being young and "in love" and sometimes it feels like you can't compete with that. The guy i'm currently dating has mentioned this girl he liked for a couple years in HS quite a few times now (he told me about the whole situation, was wondering out loud about whether or not she liked him, etc), as well as things related to her (wanting to go to the college she's at, visiting the country she's from) and it's starting to eat at me. I've seen her picture, she's quite pretty. We've only been dating for a couple months, he's told me that he loves me, constantly tells me he misses me, that we're good for each other, that kind of thing. Of course my ex had said the same thing to me, and everybody lies. What's the best way in your opinion, to deal with your bf's ex-crush? Just try to ignore it? I try to focus on the nice things he says and does but then he'll go and bring up this other girl again and I get upset again. Should I tell him how I feel (i hate confrontations and appearing weak)? Break up? I'd feel better had it actually been an EX as opposed to all this unresolved sexual tension, because at least with an ex you know that they broke up for a reason.
cresentcrow44 Posted February 24, 2009 Posted February 24, 2009 If I were in that position I would just have to tell him how it made me feel. You know, not angry like but a conversation. It doesn't have to be a confrontation. The next time he brings her up ask him how he would feel if you did that. If you talked about your high school crush the way he does. I feel for you, and I hope it works out well.
SoulSearch_CO Posted February 25, 2009 Posted February 25, 2009 I think you should talk to him about it. If anything, I'd be tempted to make some kind of comment about him being lucky that he got you, instead. You know, as you get older, this kind of thing will fade. While my X remembered his unrequited crush from HS, he didn't dwell on it at all.
I'm Joe Posted February 25, 2009 Posted February 25, 2009 I understand where he is coming from. There is an great chasm in the hearts of those who's first love is un-requieted. It is an awful thing to deal with. That said, He should not be dating anyone if he is still dwelling on the past. I think you need to ask yourself this question. If she showed up today and sought a relationship with him, would he leave you? if you think the answer is yes then I would respectfully tell him that you should separate until he can put the past behind him.
SoulSearch_CO Posted February 25, 2009 Posted February 25, 2009 If she showed up today and sought a relationship with him' date=' would he leave you?[/quote'] This is a damn good point.
ruggy Posted February 25, 2009 Posted February 25, 2009 It those that get a way still stick in our minds. I remember my high school girlfriend and crush. Ahh. Damn shame. She's now engaged to something. We always want to go back and fix what we can't. Heck, I wish I could do that in the last failure of a relationship that I had. You live, learn and move on. But, you always wonder what could had been if things were different.
motive2002 Posted February 25, 2009 Posted February 25, 2009 The first cut is the deepest. I would let him know you're uncomfortable talking about it. I think anyone with some common sense would see that.
Recommended Posts