BobSacamento Posted February 19, 2009 Posted February 19, 2009 So I was put in a weird situation. The story is there is this older guy at the office that a fellow co worker thinks is hitting on her. It's always a big scene when he leaves and she will come to me with all her terrible anguish. It is pretty brutal I mean he's married, is like 50 (probably like 25 yrs older than the coworker) and has asked her to lunch multiple times. I would say it is harassment but there's a few things - When talking to him she will continue the conversation, adding things in. Like she's relating to him. It seems like she is leading him on in my eyes. When asked "Hey if you ever want to do anything for lunch I'm free so just ask." She says "Ok". So now I have been asked to buzz her when ever he talks to her. How is it any of my business. Maybe if she was my friend I could see doing something. But really we've never done anything after work. Basically I have told her I would talk to him, but she refused. I feel I have given something now to be at her beck and call seems like BS. Am I wrong? It's like she wants to create this chivalrous scenario and have me swoop in tto save her. I say grow up. Also I should add I told her to stop humoring him to which she responded very harshly.
Geishawhelk Posted February 20, 2009 Posted February 20, 2009 Really, you should stop prevaricating. They're intent on making their own mess, and there's absolutley no need for you to be dragged into it. neither should you be. You have a tongue in your head. Tell her you have work to do. Because - hell-llooo? - this is a place where you all work. That's why you're employed. To WORK there. If she thinks she has problems, tell her to sort them out herself. She's a big girl now. Don't get involved. In the end any kindness you do will rebound and hit you square in the face. Just say, "Thanks - but no thanks." Now - back to work.
ruggy Posted February 20, 2009 Posted February 20, 2009 This is why there should be NO DATING OR BOINKING CO-WORKERS. BOINKING OR DATING CO-WORKERS AND UR FIRED!. But what do I know.
Author BobSacamento Posted February 20, 2009 Author Posted February 20, 2009 Really, you should stop prevaricating. They're intent on making their own mess, and there's absolutley no need for you to be dragged into it. neither should you be. You have a tongue in your head. Tell her you have work to do. Because - hell-llooo? - this is a place where you all work. That's why you're employed. To WORK there. If she thinks she has problems, tell her to sort them out herself. She's a big girl now. Don't get involved. In the end any kindness you do will rebound and hit you square in the face. Just say, "Thanks - but no thanks." Now - back to work. I pretty much agree with you. One thing though, what are your thoughts about me having a man to man talk with the guy. Because really it is painful to watch. I feel for the guy and I feel like if I was coming on way to strong to a woman then I would want someone to tell me. However, the best situation would be if the woman did it the first time I propositioned her. That would have been the adult thing to do.
Geishawhelk Posted February 21, 2009 Posted February 21, 2009 Read my third line up... about a kindness coming back and hitting you in the face. The more you involve yourself, the more likely you are to get suckered in and become part of the problem. Of course, not every situation is the same.... if some guy was doing this to your sister, then that would be different. But this really is not your issue. If the department exists, your colleague should turn to HR for support. If appropriate, tell your colleague she should do this. But otherwise, leave it well alone.
sid3 Posted February 21, 2009 Posted February 21, 2009 I have to agree with G, kindness can often come back and hit you square in the face, or even the nuts for us guys. Your friend loves the drama, it's that simple. Personally I'd find somebody a quater century older than me, and married super creepy if they were trying to get in my pants. Sure, maybe it's a professional lunch he's suggesting. Yeah right. I can assure you if your friend wanted his attention to stop, it would be as easy as flipping a switch. You'd be wise to stay far away from it, after all you need to protect your job. There aren't too many out there right now.
Author BobSacamento Posted February 21, 2009 Author Posted February 21, 2009 I did say to her "You love it." She said "I'm not talking to you." She didn't take kindly to that. And I said "Stop humoring him." She - "What do I have to be rude?" Me - "exactly." I mean honestly it's rejection it's not pleasant. I think you all are right.
sid3 Posted February 21, 2009 Posted February 21, 2009 There's no reason to be rude, unless he continues to bother her. All she needs to be is honest, and let him know she is not interested. Most guys will agree that rejection is better than being played with, led on etc. It really does sound like she enjoys the attention, and it feeds her ego. If she decides not to talk to you over this, then your problem is solved.
Recommended Posts