Author chris250 Posted February 20, 2009 Author Posted February 20, 2009 OP, some thoughts that sprung in my mind while reading the thread: - Why are you so irate? Even if men post here to brag, so what? You cannot control what they type here. furthermore, who should it bother you so much? The men who brag about getting lots of action and women are faceless strangers (which are your own words) so it shouldn't really matter, should it? - You say you are being bullied? How? Why? If people here are antagonistic towards you, you maybe be contributing to it. Why would a poster automatically pick on you, if you didn't yourself act in a hostile way? Human interaction doesn't usually work like that, in that people don't normally attack others without any justification or provocation. - Also, your post about being less aggressive in real life seemed interesting. Why not be more assertive in real life, instead of posting aggressive comments to faceless strangers on a website? I'm tempted to say "nobody here cares if you feel roughed up in real life", but that would be too harsh. In honesty though, i seldom get offended by what people on the internet say or write. On weekdays I spend about eight hours at work, come home, relax, chat with some MSN friends, watch TV, listen to the radio, prepare for the next working day, and then go to bed. A person's comment on the Web shouldn't affect me living my life, should it? I cannot speak for anybody else, but it seems a bit strange to vent out on a website, when people are simply busy living their own lives. - and lastly, why should it matter what a person's motives are in giving advice? IMO, the only issues are - is the advice pertinent to the problem posed? Does it offer a solution acceptable to the person experiencing a problem? Does the advice gel with a person's own reasoning, temperament and values? What i mean by the last point is that advice can often come from subjectivity. Say if a person feels stressed a lot, and a poster here posts in response that they should pray to God to relieve the stress. Well, perhaps prayer can have positive psychological effects, who knows? But what if the poster posing the problem doesn't believe in God? What if the person posing the problem despises religion/spirituality with a passion? In that sense, how can praying to God be of much practical benefit? I think you need to take a chill pill and recognise that this is only a web site. I'd suggest to literally get a pen and paper, and write down your problems in the real world and figure out a detailed solution for each problem. It's more effective and beneficial to you than venting on a website. There is no justification for being bullied and attacked. What you've done is made excuses for other people's actions instead of holding them responsible for how they react to my posts. The only person responsible for the bullying is the person doing the bullying. They made a choice to react the way they did. All the points you've made are just making excuses for the actions of others!! Yes it does matter who gives the advice. It's not enough for the advice to be sound. I'm not likely to be receptive to sound advice depending on the person giving it. Sound advice with bad motives is just as bad as posionous advice. I certainly don't hold anything you say in high regard when all you've done is made excuses for others behaviors. How about taking responsibility for how you choose to react to someone? Nobody can provoke you to respond a certain way. That's like saying that it's ok to open fire in the white house because the president said something that provoked you to anger. So my advice to you is GET LOST!
Island Girl Posted February 20, 2009 Posted February 20, 2009 How about taking responsibility for how you choose to react to someone? How about taking responsibility for how you are reacting to everyone else?
Citizen Erased Posted February 20, 2009 Posted February 20, 2009 I must applaud you Chris. This thread is slightly more original than your others. If this is indeed serious, report bullying directed towards yourself. If you aren't satisfied with how that is dealt with, leave. I don't think I have seen even one post of yours that was in any way helpful or serious. Perhaps if you made even a slight contribution to this place people would take you seriously.
quankanne Posted February 20, 2009 Posted February 20, 2009 Maybe the forum would be more productive if more people were encouraged to come to their own conclusions instead of blindly taking the advice of faceless strangers who are not guaranteed to have their best interests at heart. you've got to be putting me on ... you pitch a hissy because you think people here are hateful and bossy, yet you continually shove your brand of *logic* down our gullets? congratulations, dude, you've just been crowned King of the Trolls
nana yaw II Posted February 20, 2009 Posted February 20, 2009 There is no justification for being bullied and attacked. What you've done is made excuses for other people's actions instead of holding them responsible for how they react to my posts. The only person responsible for the bullying is the person doing the bullying. They made a choice to react the way they did. I disagree. Others act but we choose how to react. All the points you've made are just making excuses for the actions of others!! I don't understand this. how are people here bullying you? Yes it does matter who gives the advice. It's not enough for the advice to be sound. I'm not likely to be receptive to sound advice depending on the person giving it. it's your choice and your prerogative. Sound advice with bad motives is just as bad as posionous advice. I certainly don't hold anything you say in high regard when all you've done is made excuses for others behaviors. How about taking responsibility for how you choose to react to someone? Nobody can provoke you to respond a certain way. That's like saying that it's ok to open fire in the white house because the president said something that provoked you to anger. So my advice to you is GET LOST! you haven't even said how people are bullying you. and in all situations we have to take responsibility. even if we are not at fault, we can at least take precautions for it not to happen again. i saw your posts in the thread in the dating forum, and if anything i think you were the guilty party. Nobody provoked you in anyway, but you were hostile to others. you say people are bullying you, but you contribute to it. besides, how scathing is this bullying? isn't it something you can rise above?
Chrome Barracuda Posted February 20, 2009 Posted February 20, 2009 this is classic. And everyone thought I was a nutjob when i was here!
LostLamb Posted February 20, 2009 Posted February 20, 2009 LS can be a helpful place. I think some posters can come across as pious and belive there are certain rules that fit everyone but I have never seen bullying on here! If you post on a forum asking for opinions you have to realise someone will always disagree
Author chris250 Posted February 20, 2009 Author Posted February 20, 2009 I disagree. Others act but we choose how to react. I don't understand this. how are people here bullying you? it's your choice and your prerogative. you haven't even said how people are bullying you. and in all situations we have to take responsibility. even if we are not at fault, we can at least take precautions for it not to happen again. i saw your posts in the thread in the dating forum, and if anything i think you were the guilty party. Nobody provoked you in anyway, but you were hostile to others. you say people are bullying you, but you contribute to it. besides, how scathing is this bullying? isn't it something you can rise above? I do not take responsibility for the way that others choose to react to me. Why should I take responsibility for things that are not my fault? Once again all you've done is made excuses for other people's actions and expect me to carry all the weight of their actions on my shoulders. It's not going to happen here buddy. So far I haven't seen anything constructive out of your posts!! People here are upset because I think for myself and I don't blindly accept advice like all the rest of you idiots on here!! People here are upset because I don't allow their thoughts to control my life. I actually exercise my power to read what I want to read on here. There are a few posters here that I just skip over. I won't mention their names. Most of them know who they are but I choose not to read their responses. That makes them angry.
Author chris250 Posted February 20, 2009 Author Posted February 20, 2009 I must applaud you Chris. This thread is slightly more original than your others. If this is indeed serious, report bullying directed towards yourself. If you aren't satisfied with how that is dealt with, leave. I don't think I have seen even one post of yours that was in any way helpful or serious. Perhaps if you made even a slight contribution to this place people would take you seriously. Well that's where you've got it all wrong but you are too proud to admit when you are wrong. All of my posts on here are serious whether you believe it or not. And being helpful is a subjective notion. Just because my posts do not help you doesn't mean it can't help someone else. See you think you have it all right! This site is nothing but a bunch of proud idiots who will never admit when they are wrong in their evaluations of someone else. Well I've got news for you. Once I find out that all your doom and gloom predictions are wrong I won't even have time to come back here to inform you. I'll be gone!
whichwayisup Posted February 20, 2009 Posted February 20, 2009 The longer you're here, the easier it is for one to see who's sincere, who cares and who is just poking and waiting to start fights/arguments. I can say most around here DO care and are helpful, give honest (yet sometimes harsh) and heartfelt advice. I will say sometimes words jump off the screen a certain way and sometimes (depending on posters moods and frame of minds) it's easy to take things the wrong way or read too much into what someone says.
Author chris250 Posted February 20, 2009 Author Posted February 20, 2009 The longer you're here, the easier it is for one to see who's sincere, who cares and who is just poking and waiting to start fights/arguments. I can say most around here DO care and are helpful, give honest (yet sometimes harsh) and heartfelt advice. I will say sometimes words jump off the screen a certain way and sometimes (depending on posters moods and frame of minds) it's easy to take things the wrong way or read too much into what someone says. I admit that you have a point. The disadvantage of text communication is that you can't really figure out the tone behind the words. It's different when talking to a group of people on the phone. You can detect the tone in someone's voice. Perhaps I very often do read too much into words on a screen. I'm willing to give posters the benefit of the doubt on this one.
gopher Posted February 20, 2009 Posted February 20, 2009 I've met my worst enemies on LS. I have never seen such negativity and bullying in my life. Even my high school bullies were more friendly than most people here. This whole message board is a big joke. There is nothing benefical to get out of it. Most of the posts here are borderline bragging. I have to be skeptical about any man who posts here and brags about how he's a great catch with the ladies and gets chased all the time. If you are such a great catch then why the hell are you even here? This place is for people who have relationship problems. Trust me. If I was such a great catch with the ladies I wouldn't even register an account here. This place is a waste of time if you don't have relationship problems. If you were really a great catch with the ladies then I doubt you would take the time to brag about it on here. I have no desire to stay here once I've resolved all my problems. I don't have many enemies in the off-line world but the ones I do treat me much better than the ones online. They don't give me nearly as much of a hard time as the bullies on LS. So I say I don't care if I get banned from this place. Most of the dating advice here sucks! I didn't come here to make friends. Good luck to everybody! None of your doom and gloom predictions about my life mean a hill of beans. Go on and continue to post your doom and gloom predictions to me but that doesn't make you right. Furthermore when it turns out that I've proven everyone wrong I won't be here anymore to talk about it. Bro, you are your own worst enemy...good luck to ya
whichwayisup Posted February 20, 2009 Posted February 20, 2009 I admit that you have a point. The disadvantage of text communication is that you can't really figure out the tone behind the words. Once you get to know various posters, you learn their wording and how they are in generally.. In my experience, those who reply to most threads do care. If they didn't care, they wouldn't reply.. It's different when talking to a group of people on the phone. You can detect the tone in someone's voice. I guess that's where those emoticons come in handy.
nana yaw II Posted February 20, 2009 Posted February 20, 2009 I do not take responsibility for the way that others choose to react to me. Why should I take responsibility for things that are not my fault? Once again all you've done is made excuses for other people's actions and expect me to carry all the weight of their actions on my shoulders. It's not going to happen here buddy. So far I haven't seen anything constructive out of your posts!! People here are upset because I think for myself and I don't blindly accept advice like all the rest of you idiots on here!! People here are upset because I don't allow their thoughts to control my life. I actually exercise my power to read what I want to read on here. There are a few posters here that I just skip over. I won't mention their names. Most of them know who they are but I choose not to read their responses. That makes them angry. OK, so the gist of your point is that somebody offers you advice, you don't like the advice, you react badly to it, they criticise you for reacting badly, and then you claim this is bullying? Well, i don't see what your issue is really. i think you're placing too much value on a website. Can't you just, in a polite tone, say that the advice is appreciated but not entirely helpful? it only hurts you if you get so irate about people's motives or ill-intents. Who cares what their motives are? The people offering advice do not know you, do they? They aren't in your life, are they? Also, no one is owed anything. So a person giving advice is guaranteed that a person would acknowledge and use the advice. and this statement about proving people wrong about your life? What? why should their comments rile you up so much?
allina Posted February 20, 2009 Posted February 20, 2009 These angry "bullying" enemy talk sounds too familiar Are you sure your name is Chris?
JohnnyBlaze Posted February 20, 2009 Posted February 20, 2009 Furthermore when it turns out that I've proven everyone wrong I won't be here anymore to talk about it. And yet, you're still posting. The only thing more pathetic in Cyberland than a keyboard commando (someone who acts aggressive online but not in the real world...kinda like you, by your own admission) is someone who says they're leaving just to get attention. If you're going to leave, leave already.
blondesmiler Posted February 20, 2009 Posted February 20, 2009 I can't do a reference check on anybody here. That's why I can't trust anybody on a message board. If you are so trustworthy then you wouldn't be threatened when your advice is challenged and analyzed and investigated. I don't consider myself being bullied because others disagree with me. I'm being bullied because I've been told that I'm not worthy to be in a relationship just because of the way I look or the kind of job I have or the fact that I don't want to be the leader in the household. You say Chris that you cannot trust anyone on here ~ yet you post on a forum that allows people to respond with their thoughts, opinions, beliefs. Thats the point of this website. You cannot, as no one can, post on an open forum like this and expect everyone too agree with what you have too say. As you have to expect that everyone will have their own values, their own beliefs, their own experiences in life in which they will comment for or against the questions asked. As I've said before you have to have an open mind, most people on here do (not all), thats why they are here because they either would like some advice so hence they ask, or they would like a different prospective than their own. Some will take the full on advice, but this is their own choice, some will ponder on all the information provided by all the replys and come to their own conclusions about what to do, some will carry on and do what they were going too anyway. You choose what you listen too and what you do not however by starting a thread and putting your thoughts, feelings, opinions in an open forum you have to realise that not everyone will think the same as you do, and that all have their own minds to put what they believe to be true upon what you have started. For most people on here, yes you may get the odd person who you do not get along with, do not like their responses, opinions, beliefs but its theirs and you cannot, in an open forum choose what is said, only what you listen too and hear and take on board. Like yourself, you choose not too listen to what most people have too say, that is your choice. You choose too disagree with most people and all the advice they have to give so then they might grow tired and think whats the point of coming to an open forum like this if you are never willing to listen to anyone and always be argumetative, not just sometimes but always to most of the people resonding. Yes there is no tone on here, thats why the smiles are useful, so you can say when you are down, upset, laughing, joking around, being cheeky etc etc. I am not saying don't come on here, however you cannot moan about people if they disagree with your beliefs, opinions just as you do to them always. What is good for one is good for the other. Thats why I suggested your own personal blog, somewhere to vent and put your feelings down on paper, that way you can draw your own conclusions which does seem to be your main goal. Do you think so many people that have responded to your threads can be wrong about how you come across, perhaps its just time to try something a little different about your tone and just open your mind a little. I like having an open mind, allows me to absorb lifes thrills and spills, words and thoughts, and hopefully become a bigger, better person because of it. Its just what I think, some agree, some might not ~ am only trying to help but if it is a continual waste then my time and energy is better spent on others. Smile and sometimes the world will smile back at you.
Author chris250 Posted February 21, 2009 Author Posted February 21, 2009 I never said that I wanted the world to smile back at me. I don't want anybody to smile at me ever!
blondesmiler Posted February 21, 2009 Posted February 21, 2009 I never said that I wanted the world to smile back at me. I don't want anybody to smile at me ever! and thats all you got from what I posted, your more closed minded than I thought. Its only yourself your ailenating. Good luck. Bye
JamesM Posted February 22, 2009 Posted February 22, 2009 You know, in some points I actually agree with you. There is some "bullying" here. There are some angry comments made with no concern for feelings. And I agree that what people tell us about themselves can be suspect. They guy who is great with women, the woman who is happily married/engaged or cohabitating, the person who has a great life...and yet they are here for alot of their day. They must have some problems or loneliness. But that is okay. We can all be friends. The bully can be ganged up on better here than in real life. As for dating advice, I think you have offered your own thread or two in that area. It all comes down to this...we can be here or we don't have to be here. I have left sites based on some thoughts similar to yours. But I never left a long post stating why I left. I simply moved on. BTW, since you believe in universalism, then remember...one day (based on your theological thinking, we will all be together in Heaven.
Ross PK Posted February 22, 2009 Posted February 22, 2009 I think Chris is being genuine and is not trolling. I think he genuinley believes people are being hateful towards him. So instead of affirming his beliefs by continuing to give him a hard time, why not just explain in a clear civil way without twisting anything why he is not actually being bullied or hated on? Or is the fact that he isn't being bullied or hated on not true?
nana yaw II Posted February 22, 2009 Posted February 22, 2009 the onus is on him to say why and how he is being bullied. it's not on anybody else.
Ross PK Posted February 22, 2009 Posted February 22, 2009 the onus is on him to say why and how he is being bullied. it's not on anybody else. Is it that hard to explain why he isn't being bullied?
nana yaw II Posted February 22, 2009 Posted February 22, 2009 i haven't read any of his other threads, so i woudn't know if he is or not. besides, he should be able to cite examples of the ostensible bullying, since it's something he is experiencing.
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