Juno Posted February 19, 2009 Posted February 19, 2009 I've been trying to deal with this breakup, but as of late it has been extremely difficult. He abruptly ended things last month and has not spoken to me since Jan 9th. Initially, I was ok, giving him a few weeks to cool off. I would try to make contact, but he was unresponsive. So I would wait yet another two weeks. Still the same treatment, no response. Feeling my presence would make a difference as I find myself irresistible (), I went to his house to talk things over with him face to face. He was home, but did not open the door, nor did he give any response from the other side of the door. I'm crushed. Devastated. I can't believe he is treating me this way. We had a disagreement...that was all. And now to be treated in such a crappy manner? I am perplexed, what could he be feeling to warrant such behavior? I think I am beginning to hate him...hate him to his very core. Yet, I know if he called or texted I would gladly drop everything to be with him. I hate that about myself too. I still sit here and wonder if I will ever see him again, if he will ever find the urge to contact me. I love him and I hate him! This has me all so sad and confused. Please, someone shed some light on my dilema. Is this really adieu?
Geishawhelk Posted February 19, 2009 Posted February 19, 2009 Yes. he's a coward and a bully. To treat somebody in this way is beneath contempt, and is deplorable in the extreme. Close him down and write him off as a huge emotional loser. He is completely not worth the time of day. Rude is putting it mildly - heck, it doesn't even begin to cover it...... I would have been tempted to hurl a brick through his window. That would have got his attention, at least. If I find out further down the road that you're going back to him, I will buy a transatlantic plane ticket and come over there personally and kick his @$$ AND yours! Clear - ??
quankanne Posted February 19, 2009 Posted February 19, 2009 whether it's goodbye or not, based on his actions, the smart thing to do is to pick up your heart, brush the dust off and start moving forward. I know you're not getting the closure – or the answers – you need from him, but it sounds like he isn't willing to even make a step in that direction and it's up to you to just walk away, even though it may be killing you inside.
Author Juno Posted February 19, 2009 Author Posted February 19, 2009 What would make someone act in such a manner? If it was me, I would have atleast said thru the door "go away, I'm not ready to talk to you" The more I think about it, the angrier I get. I feel like getting revenge now. Hurting him, not physically, but disrupting his peaceful, calm, non-responsive life.
Author Juno Posted February 19, 2009 Author Posted February 19, 2009 Yes. he's a coward and a bully. To treat somebody in this way is beneath contempt, and is deplorable in the extreme. Close him down and write him off as a huge emotional loser. He is completely not worth the time of day. Rude is putting it mildly - heck, it doesn't even begin to cover it...... I would have been tempted to hurl a brick through his window. That would have got his attention, at least. If I find out further down the road that you're going back to him, I will buy a transatlantic plane ticket and come over there personally and kick his @$$ AND yours! Clear - ?? Thanks...I need a good azz kicking for letting him draw my emotions in so deeply.
Geishawhelk Posted February 19, 2009 Posted February 19, 2009 You know, I had a fall-out with a guy. He was a complete and total waste of space. He lied, exaggerated, was materialistic and loathsome. He was a prize jerk, boastful ( with nothing to boast of) and so selfish and self-centred it was breathtaking. I think I we dated for around 3 weeks. He was so despicable, it took no effort at all to dump him. Even his mother told him it served him right. He came round to my house, one day, shortly afterwards. He made my skin crawl he was such a creep. But I opened the door to talk to him anyway. That's how I know your ex- is beneath contempt. You're a nice person, with emotion, feeling and consideration, and he won't open the door to you - ?? Where's my club-hammer....?!??
Author Juno Posted February 19, 2009 Author Posted February 19, 2009 Hmm....That behavior sounds pretty odd. You'd think this guy would at least give you the light of day, rather than completely ignore you and not give you any reasons behind his actions. Has he been like this in the past at all? Was there anything that he/you may have did to make him avoid you like this? Take this time to sit back and try to analyze your relationship as a whole. If he is acting this childish now, imagine how he would act if you had a situation that was more critical on your hands. Would he bail out then, too? Hope that helps. Good luck with everything. What brought this on is, I shared something with him that I didn't disclose early in our relationship. He stated I am not an honest person. Nothing like cheating or sleeping around, or sex change (nothing that extreme) but maybe something I should have told him earlier. I was just waiting to see how serious we would get before sharing. During the course of our relationship, he once stop talking to me for like two months, stating that he wanted to be "by himself" Two months later he called me and acted like all was well. I asked him, "I thought you wanted to me by yourself...what has changed?" He said his moods changes with the moon...wth. I ignored it because I honestly missed him and wanted to give it another go.
quankanne Posted February 19, 2009 Posted February 19, 2009 What would make someone act in such a manner? being a passive-aggressive butt munchie is behind his actions I feel like getting revenge now. Hurting him, not physically, but disrupting his peaceful, calm, non-responsive life. that might make you feel better short term, but honestly? Stooping to that level to deal with a butt munchie has the potential into turning YOU into the same kind of person. Your anger is understandable, your desire to strike back is understandable. To act on those feelings would make you less of the person you are ... in other words, do you want to be the kind of butt munchie he is? For the sake of your sanity (and pride), I honestly hope not. because from what it sounds, this boy is never going to allow you to be who you truly are – he'll find a way to make you feel bad about yourself, even if it's for illogical reasons. make a voodoo doll and stick lots of pins in it. Make his picture the target of a dartboard. Scream at his photo until the rage is gone. Find a pillow and choke it to death as you recall the crappy things he's done to you. And in the meantime, be calm and self-possessed in your dealings with him. trust me, honey, he's so not worth putting yourself through the pain you're experiencing.
redmelon Posted February 19, 2009 Posted February 19, 2009 Holy crap! Just what you needed, right? I can't f'in believe this guy. What a douche. I can't think of anything to say that could outshine the Geisha on this one. She covered it all quite well. I hope that once it sets in a little, that you will see this person is a complete waste of your time. How freakin' LAME and CHILDISH. I am so sorry, I can't imagine how that felt to stand there. If one thing is crystal clear now, it's that you can do SOOOOOOOO much better than THIS!
MeMyself&I Posted February 19, 2009 Posted February 19, 2009 I feel like getting revenge now. Hurting him, not physically, but disrupting his peaceful, calm, non-responsive life. that might make you feel better short term, but honestly? Stooping to that level to deal with a butt munchie has the potential into turning YOU into the same kind of person. Your anger is understandable, your desire to strike back is understandable. To act on those feelings would make you less of the person you are ... in other words, do you want to be the kind of butt munchie he is? For the sake of your sanity (and pride), I honestly hope not. I can so relate to your feelings Juno. When I gave my ex a second chance after he hurt me really badly I told him in our initial talk that if he treated/hurt me like he did the last time, I would get on the karaoke microphone that at the place he and I hung out (plus all of our friends) and announce to the whole world that "C_ _ _ _ E_ _ _ _ is a unemotional piece of s**t player. He agreed that if he hurt me again he would deserve it (of course he might have said anything to talk me into dating him again) So when he hurt me badly this time I soooo wanted to do it. BUT I am the better person. He knows what he is; I know what he is; everybody that needs to know otherwise knows what he is. So I don't need to sink to his level. I handled it with "grace". All that would have done is make me look bitter. It would let him have control of my emotions and to him just further justify his behavior. Don't let your ex get a rise out of you. Be the better person. Anyway, that is just my take on it. It must hurt very badly to be treated that way.
paddletennis Posted February 20, 2009 Posted February 20, 2009 Juno, you posted here a few days ago...Re-read those posts. Again, stop thinking about why he's an A-hole. You are hurt, you've been rejected, and you still care about him. I know exactly how that feels. But it's done. Do not contact him, do not dwell on "what-if's." He is done, and you need to accept it and move on. I am sorry if I sound cruel, but I am being direct. The sooner you accept it, the sooner you can go thru the process of grieving and letting go. As I said before, it will ALL be fine. In time.
Author Juno Posted February 20, 2009 Author Posted February 20, 2009 Because I am trying to handle this with grace and refuse to give him the satisfaction of getting a rise out of me, I won't send the the following text message: "You are a piece of sh**, and I hate you, you c**k sucker!" Instead, I just may email it to him. Seems more formal that way.
lynne1973 Posted February 20, 2009 Posted February 20, 2009 ok the more you chase him, the more he will act this way. it appears he thrives on you chasing him. I say completely cut him off cold turkey and see what response you will get from him then. facts have been proven that selfish egotistical jerks like that will come looking for you when they are not getting the attention they used to get to feed their ego...
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