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I'm 51. She's 26. What to talk about?


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Posted

Oh, let's not go down the "bait Chris because he's a self-contradictory masochistic religious loser" road.....

 

We need to lay off. We know what he's like, so we should either take it or leave it.

 

Chris, forget it. The age of consent could be anywhere on the scale, it won't stop people either side of it having sex or dating if they really want to.

 

 

Shoot, we have 12-year-old boys fathering babies with 15-year old girlfriends on the one hand, and Hugh Heffner going out with three girls at a time all of whom a re young enough to be his grand aughters, on the other....

The age of consent and marriage is different across the USA, let alone the world, so ultimately, when push comes to shove, the bottom line is peoples' own perception of what they feel is morally right and morally wrong.

And short of flouting the Law, the only gauge anyone can use, when they want to date, is their own yardstick.

me personally?

I wouldn't date anyone who I'd have been old enough to change nappies for, at one time, and I wouldn't date anyone who was old enough for me to fetch his medication.

 

But what others do?

Not my concern, not my call, not my place to judge and not my problem.

Posted
Just talk like you would to any of your friends or a past girlfriend.

 

or chat with her about things you would normally discuss with your wife. does she know you have a common law wife?

 

Ewwww really 2Sunny? good work.

 

this is now just gross :sick:

Posted
Yes it would

 

Because you're old enough to make your own decisions and live with the consequences. That's where the line is drawn. That's why the cut off point is 18 because that's when people are considered adults.

 

You cannot legislate to nanny adults, although I wouldn't be surprised if that is where everything goes anyway, because around every corner there's always a vocal do-gooder that thinks they know what's best for everyone else.

 

So who gets to decide that 18 is the cut off date? Where is it proven that 18 should be the minimum age that you can make your own decisions.

 

Age is just a number. If an 18 year old does not act like an 18 year old they shouldn't get the privilege of being treated like one.

 

18 is the age only because society has been brainwashed to accept this as the minimum legal age. I say it's too low. Not all 18 year olds have developed the foresight to look into the long term consequences of their actions.

 

So if I as a 26 year old man date a 75 year old woman that would only prove I haven't matured enough to have the privilege of making those kind of decisions.

 

If someone can decide that 18 is the minimum legal age and we have been programmed to believe it's ok then why wouldn't it be ok to raise that age? Why must we accept the line that society has drawn? Who voted them to be God?

 

And if a 26 year old is still living at home then they have to abide by their parents rules about who they can or cannot date regardless if it's legal for them to date or not. If they have a problem with that then it's time to move out of the house. Just because an activity is legal doesn't mean you don't have to follow the rules of the house that you live in and owned by someone else.

Posted
So who gets to decide that 18 is the cut off date? Where is it proven that 18 should be the minimum age that you can make your own decisions.

Erm... ok so who gets to decide that 26 is the cut off age or that 26 and 51 is wrong. Where is it proven as you say?

Age is just a number.

Oh dear well you've just shot your whole argument in the foot then!

Posted
Erm... ok so who gets to decide that 26 is the cut off age or that 26 and 51 is wrong. Where is it proven as you say?

 

Oh dear well you've just shot your whole argument in the foot then!

 

Who gets to decide 18 is the cut off date then? Why should we accept that? What's so magical about the number 18 that qualifies one to be given adult privileges regardless if they are acting like 5 year olds?

 

The age is not the issue. The age difference is the issue. If we're going to assign a cut off it should be based on the age difference.

 

Yes for someone to date someone who is young enough to be their daughter or granddaughter does effect the rest of society.

 

To say that it's none of our business is like saying that we should not have seat-belt laws. It's like saying that if you don't want to wear your seat-belt then it's nobody else's business. The laws are on the books for a reason because it does effect everyone else if we don't wear seat-belts or helmets.

Posted
Who gets to decide 18 is the cut off date then?

Why should we accept that?

The people that govern you do. So either deal with it, try to change it (good luck with that) or carry on thinking that you know something everyone else doesn't.

Posted

Yes for someone to date someone who is young enough to be their daughter or granddaughter does effect the rest of society.

.

 

Eh? No chris, it affects you because you don't think it's right. Well tough, no-one really cares if you're miserable.

Posted
The people that govern you do. So either deal with it, try to change it (good luck with that) or carry on thinking that you know something everyone else doesn't.

 

And all I said was that it should be against the law for two people to date who are old enough to be parent and son/daughter.

 

So what would be wrong if the law did get changed to that? What if it did become illegal tomorrow for a 51 year old to date a 26 year old? Then you would have to accept it without question simply because the law says so.

 

The problem in your argument is that you assume the people in government know all there is to know about age minimums for dating and you accept it without question. Unlike you I question everything I hear!

Posted
Eh? No chris, it affects you because you don't think it's right. Well tough, no-one really cares if you're miserable.

 

That's a very poor argument. That's like saying not wearing a seat-belt only effects me when there are laws on the books that require me to wear a seat-belt.

Posted

So what would be wrong if the law did get changed to that? What if it did become illegal tomorrow for a 51 year old to date a 26 year old? Then you would have to accept it without question simply because the law says so.!

 

But it's not that, and it won't get changed to that chris so put up or shut up..

Posted
That's a very poor argument. That's like saying not wearing a seat-belt only effects me when there are laws on the books that require me to wear a seat-belt.

 

The difference is that not wearing a seat belt can be harmful. An age gap relationship just annoys people like you, so it's really not an issue.

Posted

My ex-H was 43 when we met. I was 24. We were together for about 9 years. We never, ever had any problem coming up with things to talk about. (We had many other problems though.)

 

But oddly, (or not) conversation was one of the best parts of our relationship. We talked about anything and everything. He was (is I guess) one of the most intelligent men I've ever known. He taught me a lot and no topic was off-limits.

 

So I wonder if your inability to hold a good conversation with each other has to do with the age difference or something else. Because in and of itself I don't think the age difference would matter as far as good conversation goes.

 

Heck, my stepson is 21 and we could talk to him for hours and hours about all kinds of things. And when we last saw him, we did. Same with his girlfriend.

 

I've met people my OWN age who are as boring as hell and who I have trouble keeping a conversation going with.

 

So yeah, in my opinion age has no bearing on that.

 

Also, "dating" yourself shouldn't be an issue. If you can't be yourself and refer to things/events before her time, then why do you want to be with her? My ex referred to things that took place before my time all the time. It was fine. It made the conversation interesting.

Posted
But it's not that, and it won't get changed to that chris so put up or shut up..

 

Then you might as well argue that it's ok for a man to lie & cheat on his wife since it's legal.

 

There's many activities that are harmful to society that are not necessarily illegal. Does that mean it's ok?

 

With this line of reasoning then you might as well allow your teenage daughter to date a 30 year old man because afterall it's just annoying others. By your argument there is no reason why that law should be on the books other than the fact it's not normal for a 16 year old to date a 30 year old.

Posted
The difference is that not wearing a seat belt can be harmful. An age gap relationship just annoys people like you, so it's really not an issue.

 

Then by your reasoning it shouldn't be a legal issue if a teenager gets knocked up with a 30 year old since there is no harm done. It only annoys certain people.

Posted
Then you might as well argue that it's ok for a man to lie & cheat on his wife since it's legal.

It's up to the woman to make her call on that. Nothing to do with me.

 

There's many activities that are harmful to society that are not necessarily illegal. Does that mean it's ok?

 

Thing is your whole argument is constructed around evidence you've invented. Age gap relationships harmful to society?

Posted
It's up to the woman to make her call on that. Nothing to do with me.

 

 

 

Thing is your whole argument is constructed around evidence you've invented. Age gap relationships harmful to society?

 

Then so you are saying it's not harmful to society for a 16 year old woman to date and sleep with a 30 year old man then as long as both consent to it? Then why should something like that be illegal?

 

That's the problem in your argument.

Posted
Then by your reasoning it shouldn't be a legal issue if a teenager gets knocked up with a 30 year old since there is no harm done. It only annoys certain people.

 

No chris, that annoys a lot of people.

 

A 51 year old and a 26 year old only annoys people like you, and most people don't listen to people like you.

Posted
No chris, that annoys a lot of people.

 

A 51 year old and a 26 year old only annoys people like you, and most people don't listen to people like you.

 

So if it annoys a lot of people for a 16 year old to get knocked up with a 30 year old so what?

 

Your argument is inconsistent. So you are saying that laws should only be passed based on how many people the activites annoy?

 

I don't listen to people like you who have flaws in their argument.

Posted
Then so you are saying it's not harmful to society for a 16 year old woman to date and sleep with a 30 year old man then as long as both consent to it?

Nope

 

What your saying is that it's harmful to society for a 51 year old to sleep with a 26 year old, still haven't seen any evidence of this btw...

Posted
So if it annoys a lot of people for a 16 year old to get knocked up with a 30 year old so what?

 

Your argument is inconsistent. So you are saying that laws should only be passed based on how many people the activites annoy?

 

I don't listen to people like you who have flaws in their argument.

 

Just provide that evidence that it's harmful chris...

  • Author
Posted

Thanks to everyone for their comments -- at least those somewhat related to my original inquiry. The fact is my wife are no longer together -- we mutually agreed to split at Christmas. Honestly, I've never heard so much self righteous, judgmental blather in my entire life. And yes... she knows about my ex. And yes... she knows exactly how old I am. And no... my kids don't know about her yet -- why should they at this point? -- thanks again for all your comments.

Posted
Nope

 

What your saying is that it's harmful to society for a 51 year old to sleep with a 26 year old, still haven't seen any evidence of this btw...

 

I haven't seen any evidence that it's harmful to society for a consenting 16 year old to sleep with a 30 year old man but it's illegal nontheless. Where is your evidence that this is harmful?

Posted
I haven't seen any evidence that it's harmful to society for a consenting 16 year old to sleep with a 30 year old man but it's illegal nontheless.

Where is your evidence that this is harmful?

 

This is known as an argument from ignorance chris

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Argument_from_ignorance

 

You stated it's harmful. Provide your evidence that it's harmful. The burden of proof is on you as you stated it.

Posted

Chris, don't be stupid, seat belt laws are to stop people being killed.

That is a completely strawman argument.

 

You weren't doing toooo badly - up to then....:rolleyes:

Posted

it may only be harmful from the perspective that he's married... so that hardly seems fair to the young gal. i wonder if she knows he's taken...

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