Tyrone Posted February 19, 2009 Posted February 19, 2009 Hi I'm a 51 year old guy who's dating a 26 year old girl. We have a great physical relationship but sometimes I find myself struggling on what to talk about. I try to avoid topics that date me and I try not to repeat myself. Any suggestions? Thanks
Geishawhelk Posted February 19, 2009 Posted February 19, 2009 Do you view this as a long-term relationship, or are you just out to have a good time? because if it's the latter, then really,m it's not about talking.... If it's the former, you'd better find a common interest, because otherwise it's going to be a very dull and unchallenging, unstimulating future. Bear in mind that if this is long term, there will be a point when, if things pan out "as planned", she will become your carer, and nurse. Think now, of personal insurance and investment. I kid you not, I'm completely serious. Do you think she'd hang around that long? If not, let her down gently, and move on. If you're finding it difficult to have things to talk about now - it's not going to get easier. You two are living on entirely different plateaux.
Hughesy Posted February 19, 2009 Posted February 19, 2009 Try finding a woman your own age then maybe you'll find something to talk about.
northstar1 Posted February 19, 2009 Posted February 19, 2009 Hi I'm a 51 year old guy who's dating a 26 year old girl. We have a great physical relationship but sometimes I find myself struggling on what to talk about. I try to avoid topics that date me and I try not to repeat myself. Any suggestions? Thanks Well does she have any interests, like books, or travel or likes to debate topics? If so, talk about those. Travel talk is always a good common one. Otherwise, read up a bit on current celebrity gossip, or music or that.
Author Tyrone Posted February 19, 2009 Author Posted February 19, 2009 Thanks... But I don't know where this is going. I'm well aware that our age difference has inherent problems from a long-term standpoint. However, we're just getting to know each other. It's just that the physical part moved a little faster than usual -- I've never had a more fulfilling sex life. And, why do I need to "find someone my own age"? It's common in other cultures (Europe, Asia) for older men to marry younger women -- I suppose these cultures are wrong? or (different?) Thanks northstar1 for the advise. Those sound like great suggestions.
nicki Posted February 19, 2009 Posted February 19, 2009 Or maybe just keep it physical. It is what it is. Or do you want to marry this woman or something? Not to be cynical, but if you have a lot of money then you can talk about money. And since she's young and hot, talk about that. You know, common ground. Okay, sorry, that was cynical. I vote for just keeping it physical, but if you want a marriage, then get a hobby together. The generation gap is very wide for you two.
yongyong Posted February 19, 2009 Posted February 19, 2009 well you can talk about vietnam war, pink floyd, rolling stone, james dean lol honestly forget about conversation and just get her manolo blahnik. she will be very pleased
yongyong Posted February 19, 2009 Posted February 19, 2009 it's common is asia? what are you talking about maybe she is an asian woman who is from very poor one of south east asia countries? that make sense then.......... Thanks... But I don't know where this is going. I'm well aware that our age difference has inherent problems from a long-term standpoint. However, we're just getting to know each other. It's just that the physical part moved a little faster than usual -- I've never had a more fulfilling sex life. And, why do I need to "find someone my own age"? It's common in other cultures (Europe, Asia) for older men to marry younger women -- I suppose these cultures are wrong? or (different?) Thanks northstar1 for the advise. Those sound like great suggestions.
nicki Posted February 19, 2009 Posted February 19, 2009 Well, if your sex life is so fulfilling, then simply keep it physical, and have fun. Do you get a sense she wants more conversation? Maybe she doesn't care. But, beware, the chemical cocktail WILL wear off down the road, and the passion will then need to be continually sparked by a deeper connection and intimacy...or it dies... Or, by then, maybe it will be time to move on.
Author Tyrone Posted February 19, 2009 Author Posted February 19, 2009 First of all... I was 4 years old when the Vietnam conflict broke out. As for Pink Floyd and The Rolling Stones, their music is still being enjoyed today. James Dean died before I was born so I don't know where you're going with that one. Are you actually going argue that marriages between older men and younger women are NOT more comment in other cultures. I regular visit these countries and have witnessed it first hand. FYI -- she's Canadian, born and raised. She does like shoes (re: your comment about Manolo Blahnik)... but what woman doesn't... or handbags for that matter. And, what's your point?
complication Posted February 19, 2009 Posted February 19, 2009 Bro, this is not very difficult. Open a conversation about whatever, listen for a key word in what she says, continue with that.
Author Tyrone Posted February 19, 2009 Author Posted February 19, 2009 Physical it is then... there are worse things in life. I hope the chemicals last for a while. We both have busy schedules and only see each other every 1-2 weeks so maybe that will keep it alive longer. Thanks for your comments nicki!
tigereyes12 Posted February 19, 2009 Posted February 19, 2009 I may be completely wrong about this, but I'm inclined to think that the reason you have trouble finding conversation fodder has more to do with the fact that you're worried you have nothing to talk about than actually not having anything to talk about. Don't be afraid to date yourself. She's with you and she knows how old you are--it comes with the territory. I'm 22 and I dated a man who was 36 for quite sometime (admittedly, not quite as much of a difference), but I found it charming when he talked about things that "dated" him. It was interesting and foreign and it made him seem sophisticated. Treat her like a person and an equal--not like a child (I'm not saying you are doing this, of course--I really don't know). You certainly have something in common. And anyway, when you genuinely like and are attracted to someone, the weather can be the most fascinating subject on earth. Good luck!
2sunny Posted February 19, 2009 Posted February 19, 2009 doesn't really matter what the age - when more effort is being placed on "making the conversation happen" then it's time to end it. that takes all the fun out of life and living. it shouldn't be that difficult to enjoy another person's company - but when it takes that kind of effort and energy - it's NOT WORTH IT. no matter how good the sex is. if the sex is all you want - then just pay her to come over for the physical part and tell her that you don't want to talk about anything. that would be good honesty.
Frankasy Posted February 19, 2009 Posted February 19, 2009 Talk about breaking up, seriously. She was born in the end of the Cold War while you've lived it from the beginning. You might even be older than her father. You finished college when she was born. Need I say more?
O'Malley Posted February 19, 2009 Posted February 19, 2009 Do you view this as a long-term relationship, or are you just out to have a good time? because if it's the latter, then really,m it's not about talking.... If it's the former, you'd better find a common interest, because otherwise it's going to be a very dull and unchallenging, unstimulating future. Bear in mind that if this is long term, there will be a point when, if things pan out "as planned", she will become your carer, and nurse. Quite accurate. That, and the most satisfying relationships are those where you don't feel dated or lack good conversation, regardless of the age differential.
complication Posted February 19, 2009 Posted February 19, 2009 Talk about breaking up, seriously. She was born in the end of the Cold War while you've lived it from the beginning. You might even be older than her father. You finished college when she was born. Need I say more? I'm a 21 year old guy...age means little. Legal? Good, then go after.
Frankasy Posted February 19, 2009 Posted February 19, 2009 I'm a 21 year old guy...age means little. Legal? Good, then go after. So? Age means a lot, not little. Plus I'm younger than you but seriously huge age differences are unbearable. Face it, no matter how much you say that two people love each other, huge age differences will prove decisive.
complication Posted February 19, 2009 Posted February 19, 2009 So? Age means a lot, not little. Plus I'm younger than you but seriously huge age differences are unbearable. Face it, no matter how much you say that two people love each other, huge age differences will prove decisive. By death. The rest is irrelevant.
2sunny Posted February 19, 2009 Posted February 19, 2009 I'm a 21 year old guy...age means little. Legal? Good, then go after. huh? seriously? how selfish and self centered must you be? how about SOME sense of common decency...
Author Tyrone Posted February 19, 2009 Author Posted February 19, 2009 Thanks tigereyes... I think you make some good points -- very helpful. I really just need to relax and not be overly concerned about it. It's not that we have nothing to talk about -- it's just young beautiful women have always made me self conscious. Something that didn't go away with age I guess. Anyway, we really care about each other and that's important.
nana yaw II Posted February 19, 2009 Posted February 19, 2009 OP, i don't get your point, in honesty. Granted, you and your partner are of different generations. but even with different generations, there can be common ground. Why not ask her what interests her and go from there? It's then like any other conversation since you can build from there. Say she likes going to the beach a lot, as an example. Ask her what is it about the beach she likes, or can she swim, or joke about how good she'd look in a bikini or something. When she tells you her favorite hobbies/pasttimes, why not join her in them? I suppose, IMO, it boils down to this - is she just a f**k buddy? Or do you want a relationship with her? If it's the former, then by all means keep her friendship. Even if friends don't share like interests, friendships are often based on similar values. Find out what both of you have in common. if it's the latter, then you may have to accept that her outlook, needs and wants in life may be different from yours, given the age difference. I don't think an age gap relationship, per se, is a bad thing. But if it is too large a gap, then IMO it's a problem. A 30 year old man dating a 25 woman is by defintion an age gap relationship. but a 30 year old and a 25 year don't have a radically different outlook or wants in life, if judging by age alone.
2sunny Posted February 19, 2009 Posted February 19, 2009 Thanks tigereyes... I think you make some good points -- very helpful. I really just need to relax and not be overly concerned about it. It's not that we have nothing to talk about -- it's just young beautiful women have always made me self conscious. Something that didn't go away with age I guess. Anyway, we really care about each other and that's important. uh huh... so - just pretend you are having a conversation with your daughter and things should be perfectly comfortable. while you're at it - pretend you're having sex with your daughter too.
Lizzie60 Posted February 19, 2009 Posted February 19, 2009 Hi I'm a 51 year old guy who's dating a 26 year old girl. We have a great physical relationship but sometimes I find myself struggling on what to talk about. I try to avoid topics that date me and I try not to repeat myself. Any suggestions? Thanks As long as you don't turn up your hearing aid.. you're OK.. Seriously.. at 26, you should be able to talk to her about anything.. unless she's dumb.
Author Tyrone Posted February 19, 2009 Author Posted February 19, 2009 uh huh... so - just pretend you are having a conversation with your daughter and things should be perfectly comfortable. while you're at it - pretend you're having sex with your daughter too. I think that's uncalled for... The comment is totally inappropriate. This IS someone I care about and NOT some sick a twisted fantasy as you might like others to believe. If you have nothing constructive to offer, I suggest you go elsewhere.
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