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Early signs of commitment: what do you guys think?


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Posted

Are most men likely to let you know early on if they think a relationship has long term potential or not? Or will they just keep this to themselves? What are any tell tale signs that they are leaning in one direction or another?

Posted

Friends becoming lovers? Yes, I think there's a pretty good instinct early-on. Strangers meeting and dating? For me, nope, it takes time; months. Revelation is like an onion. Many layers. Cook it slow or it'll be bitter :)

Posted
Friends becoming lovers? Yes, I think there's a pretty good instinct early-on. Strangers meeting and dating? For me, nope, it takes time; months. Revelation is like an onion. Many layers. Cook it slow or it'll be bitter :)

Huh. Wow. Very interesting. I wouldn't have thought this to be the case. About 4 weeks into knowing my XH, we went on a REAL date (we worked together) and already were discussing the "what-ifs" of the future. We lived together for a year before getting married, so it's not like we rushed into it. He didn't change until after we married.

 

And as for my current...we've already also talked about some "what-ifs" of the future. :confused: I wonder if that's a bad sign?

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Posted

it's not a bad sign! Good luck!

Posted

Hm, actually, I've found that men who know what they want will generally tell you straight up, no matter how they might fumble over their words. Men who don't know what they want will not tell you, how can they if they don't know? Those are the flip floppers, and you have to be careful with them, because some of them intend to keep it that way to stay out of a commitment, unfortunately.

Posted

My posting was intended to provide an opinion as to how I analyze a potential, rather than communicate and/or realize what I want in a LTR. I'm 50 years old in a couple months and I've long known what I want in a LTR. I thought I married someone who could share that path. It's the discerning of the path of the partner that is the revelation of the onion. Have you noticed that no two onions are exactly alike? Only way to know for sure is to peel back the layers.

 

I don't keep my opinions to myself. Anyone who follows my postings on LS knows that. It's the same in real life. It's also why I've had few romantic partners. I've simply met few whose personalities and emotional styles mesh well with my own. Yes, I let them know. It's a big world. Lots of onions :)

Posted

My partner and I knew virtually into a day after we met, that we'd fallen in love.

4.5 years down the line, things are stronger than ever.

 

A week after meeting - one week - he let me know that as far as he was concerned, he was in this for the long haul and that if I felt any different, now would be a good time to tell him.

 

Doing good so far. :)

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