Guy sets up a date then never follows through; months later I'm still interested...?

[MissDee]

So, there was this really cute guy in one of my classes last year. Towards the end of the semester, probably the last week of classes, he complimented me on a band shirt I was wearing. He never approached me after class though.

 

That night, I get a message and a friend request from him on facebook. In his message he says that he "didn't have a chance to catch me in person" and decided to look me up on facebook instead. He then asked if we could go to the city to see a show sometime and gave me his phone number. I replied, saying I'd love to and told him to "let me know" and gave him my phone number. No follow up message, no text, no phone call.

 

It's been MONTHS since this happened - I'm going to say this happened in May of '07, so almost a year. The other day I saw him on campus and, in the corner of my eye, I saw him looking at me. Still, no text... no phone call.

 

I don't really know how to approach this situation. It seemed like he asked me out and gave me his # to follow up, but then I told him to let me know and he doesn't follow up. Was I suppose to call/text him, even though HE asked me to hang out?

 

Well, believe it or not, even after all this time I'm still kinda interested in him. Maybe not a relationship but I'd at least like to hang out with him since we share a few interests. Would it be weird if I texted him? What would I even say? - "So... about that show..."?

[winsmith-84]

Well, everybody's different, so it's hard to tell, but it seems to me he's shy and doesn't know what to do.

 

Frankly, if I tell a girl to call me, that means I'm nervous and am waiting to see if she likes me or not. He's probably unsure as to how you feel about him. I say you go talk to him if you see him again and try to figure out if he's interested or not. Or, talk to him on facebook or something and if conversation goes well, bring up casually if he'd want to hang out or something.

 

It seems like he's more passive than assertive, so you'll probably have initiate the relationship. He's probably shy since A) he won't come talk to you, B) he uses electronic means to communicate, and C) he hasn't called you. Just talk to him on facebook and see if he likes talking to you.

[tigereyes12]

Or message him and say, "Hey, mister, what ever happened to that show!" He's probably just shy or afraid to seem overly pushy. I'm inclined to think he wouldn't have made the effort if he weren't interested. Just prod him a little.

[shadowplay]

So, there was this really cute guy in one of my classes last year. Towards the end of the semester, probably the last week of classes, he complimented me on a band shirt I was wearing. He never approached me after class though.

 

That night, I get a message and a friend request from him on facebook. In his message he says that he "didn't have a chance to catch me in person" and decided to look me up on facebook instead. He then asked if we could go to the city to see a show sometime and gave me his phone number. I replied, saying I'd love to and told him to "let me know" and gave him my phone number. No follow up message, no text, no phone call.

 

It's been MONTHS since this happened - I'm going to say this happened in May of '07, so almost a year. The other day I saw him on campus and, in the corner of my eye, I saw him looking at me. Still, no text... no phone call.

 

I don't really know how to approach this situation. It seemed like he asked me out and gave me his # to follow up, but then I told him to let me know and he doesn't follow up. Was I suppose to call/text him, even though HE asked me to hang out?

 

Well, believe it or not, even after all this time I'm still kinda interested in him. Maybe not a relationship but I'd at least like to hang out with him since we share a few interests. Would it be weird if I texted him? What would I even say? - "So... about that show..."?

 

Something very similar happened to me once. He lost interest for some reason. In my experience he started dating some other girl. Maybe the same thing happened for your guy. But if he were still interested, he would have followed through. It might be worth sending him a message, but I doubt it will go anywhere. Good luck.

[MissDee]

After thinking it over I may have figured out why he's acting weird. Not too long after he contacted me I started hanging out with another guy. It never went anywhere but perhaps he got discouraged and backed off.

[BCCA]

After thinking it over I may have figured out why he's acting weird. Not too long after he contacted me I started hanging out with another guy. It never went anywhere but perhaps he got discouraged and backed off.

 

Guy generally dont care unless you anounce him as your boyfriend. Otherwise, you're single and can hang out with who you want.

 

I think giving him your number told him you were interested, but he chose not to act on it. I wouldnt bother trying to contact him if it was me, unless youre just looking for a hook up.

[MissDee]

Guy generally dont care unless you anounce him as your boyfriend. Otherwise, you're single and can hang out with who you want.

 

I think giving him your number told him you were interested, but he chose not to act on it. I wouldnt bother trying to contact him if it was me, unless youre just looking for a hook up.

 

 

Hm, I think I agree with you. Giving him my number implies that I want him to contact me and he didn't contact me. I have to rule out the probability that he is shy because... he isn't. He was always very outspoken in class and has a lot of friends. Quite frankly, if he loses interest without even speaking to me in person that says a lot about him. Even after I saw him on campus a few months later he still didn't contact me afterwards. I should probably just let this one go.

[winsmith-84]

Hm, I think I agree with you. Giving him my number implies that I want him to contact me and he didn't contact me. I have to rule out the probability that he is shy because... he isn't. He was always very outspoken in class and has a lot of friends. Quite frankly, if he loses interest without even speaking to me in person that says a lot about him. Even after I saw him on campus a few months later he still didn't contact me afterwards. I should probably just let this one go.

Maybe he's just shy around girls. Does he have a lot of female friends?

[CommitmentPhobe]

After thinking it over I may have figured out why he's acting weird. Not too long after he contacted me I started hanging out with another guy. It never went anywhere but perhaps he got discouraged and backed off.

 

It could be that he has a lot of choice and although initially you appeared interesting he decided that you weren't the right option for him

 

a)don't take it personally

b)don't try to second guess his intentions

c)if you've got some kind of a crush on him then let him know and find out what happens

 

There isn't much else you can do

[MissDee]

Maybe he's just shy around girls. Does he have a lot of female friends?

 

 

He has one good female friend that I know of. I'm pretty sure they grew up together or something though. I always see them with each other but I was told they never had a relationship.

 

I think I would have made more of an effort to get in touch with him if I knew him but, I don't. I can only base my opinion on his looks (which are ) and from what he's talked about in our previous class together. At the same time, I am not one to approach people. I always preferred to be perused; however, this may be half my problem. Maybe he's the same way? Haha.

 

I would text him about it but I don't have his number. I would rather not contact him on facebook either but I might have to, that is if I decide to contact him.