babygirlhausen Posted February 19, 2009 Posted February 19, 2009 Hi i have 2 daughters 8 years old and 4 years old me and the baby have a good and close mother daughter relationship and me and my oldest daughter do not she does not listen to she is always getting in trouble im juz about to send her back to her dads cuz i dont know what to do......
GorillaTheater Posted February 19, 2009 Posted February 19, 2009 Been lurking here for 2-3 weeks, finally registered today, and have been consistently impressed by the quality and intelligence of the posts here. Nonetheless, having 8 kids aged 2 to 20, I feel qualified to take a stab at this. What is the 8 year old doing and how are you responding? Can't advise sending the kid to dad just yet; seems to me that your child may well feel abandoned.
daydreamer80 Posted March 31, 2009 Posted March 31, 2009 she dont listen she wont clean her room and she has always been a daddys girl i dont know i think thats what the problem is
Lucky_One Posted March 31, 2009 Posted March 31, 2009 You are going to "send her away" (because that is what a kid is going to see it as) because she wont' clean her room? Seriously, what sort of getting into trouble does she do? Does she know how to clean her room? What exactly are you expecting in terms of her cleaning?
Citizen Erased Posted March 31, 2009 Posted March 31, 2009 You are just looking for an excuse to send her away.
RecordProducer Posted March 31, 2009 Posted March 31, 2009 You know, I don't believe in bad parents, I believe in "bad" kids. With that being said, I mean, we get the kids that we get. I was a quiet, perfect kid according to my parents. My sons are wonderful, but lively. Some kids are extremely difficult. I think our job as parents is to put up with them when they are bad. I am not joking. Kids need unconditional love. You are trying to straighten your daughter up but she might not be "fixable." Just accept her the way she is and you'll feel much better. A "bad" child is not a problem that needs a solution. A bad child is just a child that needs your love and support, as much as the good child. Just be more patient and tolerant. Confide in her. She is 8, she isn't so little anymore. Tell her how you feel. A couple months ago, my sons started beating each other a few times a day, cursing, and calling one another names. It was unbearable and nothing I did would help. About a week ago, I just couldn't take it anymore and I laid down on the floor and started crying. I told them their behavior was so traumatic for me. I cried honestly and I was very upset. They apologized and ever since - they haven't started a fight between each other. They just felt genuinely sorry for Mama. :love: Sometimes children need to see their parents' weakness in order to improve their behavior. You're not necessarily responsible for their misbehavior. You don't have to be the strong, strict parent that injects discipline in her child's bones. On the contrary - teach her that she should behave because other people have feelings that need to be respected and nurtured. Not because Mom said so and because she must obey.
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