Joker77 Posted February 19, 2009 Posted February 19, 2009 How long did it take you to get over someone? Depends. If I felt they hurt me, then I would hurt for a little while and then just become callous to them. This last situation I was in that ended in November was like that. The more I kept myself busy, the quicker I was able to get over her. The only problem is I work with a mutual friend of ours who seems to enjoy giving me reports on the ex. Friday she told me she was dating again. I told my friend I didn't care. Today she told me my ex told her she finally admitted on flaking out on me and that's why she broke up with me. Again, I said I didn't care. I have just about moved on and I don't have time to be pining over someone who dropped me like she was one item over in the 10 item express checkout.
EmperorR Posted February 19, 2009 Posted February 19, 2009 My ex fiancé cheated on me dumped me started dating a week later I was wrecked, depression, constant sadness. And it took me like 4 months of nc stayin busy etc to make me feel better. I mean I still think about my ex but it's not I hate you, I miss you it's just a I wonder how her life is now that's it. But it helps that my ex lives 2 hours away, blocked on facebook from all my emails
IcemanJB Posted February 19, 2009 Posted February 19, 2009 My current ex and I split in October. The first month was just a huge amount of pain from both parties, probably because of the contact we still had. Finally I told her I wanted NC (3 months ago), and I'm pretty much over her; but with this one I don't think I'll ever be truly, totally over her. So this one took about 4 months. The previous one cheated on me and I was over her in 2 WEEKS. It's so much easier for me if they proven they're just an awful person, rather than it just being a sucky situation out of my control.
SpanksTheMonkey Posted February 19, 2009 Posted February 19, 2009 I dunno I'm working on it at the moment mine was an extremely abusive relationship in every way tho but I still miss him. I'm actually now debating wither or not I'm insane over that fact to be honest. Guess it doesn't help were still in reg phone contact but I'm just taken it one day at a time. Hes moved away tho so least theres no physical contact. But yea back on subject I'm finding it a little easer every day lately baby steps I guess. I am noticing the more were apart the more I can see just how screwed up/sick he is and how toxic the relationship was for me! sorry to rambel..lol
Jenny123 Posted February 19, 2009 Posted February 19, 2009 Nearly 5months for me, since we broke up. I'm still not ready to date again, do think sometimes of him with her. But better, sad though, I am very disstrustful, cynical now. Maybe not a bad thing my soft heart was tread on.
Trialbyfire Posted February 19, 2009 Posted February 19, 2009 How long did it take you to get over someone? It's been variable. For the most traumatic one, which was my ex-H cheating on me where I kicked him to the curb by immediately separating and divorcing him, it took from D-day in November, through some therapy in the first third of the year, then divorce in May, to get over 99% of him. The balance 1% took what about 6 more months. As for getting over the infidelity itself with trust issues, primarily to do with my own personal judgement, it took over 2 years to re-anchor back inside of me, to an equal and even higher level than pre-D-day. What I found was that my gut instincts are always right, where my judgement or rationalization of judgement, can be flawed. In allowing myself to be more open-minded to partners, it's only created pain. Some partners aren't meant to be through foundational incompatibilities. Love or caring just isn't even close to being enough, especially when unbalanced. So now, it's all about my gut instinct.
a_f_w Posted February 19, 2009 Posted February 19, 2009 I am very lucky - before I met my girlfriend I was resolutely solitary, and very happy with myself - so I have been able to return to that state relatively easily. I also have good base self-confidence and I like myself a lot - and that feeling returned soon enough. Basically I started having good days after about three weeks, then I had a run of them, and I haven't felt "bad" now for about two or three weeks. I still have residual symptoms, like after you've been ill and might have some soreness or a faint headache - but I genuinely 100% don't want her back and am glad that what happened, happened. I have only one persisting regret and that relates to her family, to whom I felt quite close - but it doesn't bother me too much. So basically about a month for me, or say 5 weeks. The worst of it was in the first two weeks. For perspective, I was with her for two years and really thought I'd be with her forever - we often talked about our future and all that. I definately considered doing something silly when she left me... But I'm lucky that I healed quickly. A big step in my recovery came when I started going out and meeting people (which I never did before). That felt good, and really accelerated the healing process.
smile_through_tears Posted February 21, 2009 Posted February 21, 2009 the hardest thing...and the longer it takes to get over ur ex is when they were a good person 9doesnt mean their perfect but overall they were good to you)...when YOU hurt them..when u have guilt...for me thats the hardest...and also when u dont have some type of closure... the easiest..when the other person SUCKS nad treats u like crap or cheats on you....cause most likely they will regret it and why would u want to be with someone who is messed up anyway?? but losing a good thing--thats hard
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