SYL Posted February 19, 2009 Posted February 19, 2009 This is for humour, just to cheer us all up! A note with 12 random things, facts, habits, lies, embellishments or goals about you after you've been dumped. 1. You don't cry all day. S/HE does! 2. You don't check my email, voice messages, and texts every ten minutes during NC. Noooooooo, not you...!! 3. You were born fists first and flew from the womb. You're irresistible! 4. You once stole the Eiffel Tower for her and sold it back to the Parisians for one dollar. What's wrong with her? 5. You don't really want to slap those cherubs silly... 6. This forum section should be called Heartache Hut. 7. Cheer up! You were just holding her back from all the other lives she could be ruining. 8. Think of marriage as a three-ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering. 9. Men beware: Women are named after hurricanes because when they arrive they're wet and wild, but when they go, they take your house and car. 10. Matthew McConaughey, Usher, Patrick Dempsey, and Scarlett Johansson all want you anyway... ALL AT ONCE! 11. His penis is bright orange when he watches porn and eats Cheetos. That's what he's doing right now without your lovin'. 12. You never fart, belch, curse, and you never have snot running down your nose -- you're totally datable, hon!! (here's a tissue)
sad_panda Posted February 19, 2009 Posted February 19, 2009 You don't check my email, voice messages, and texts every ten minutes during NC. Noooooooo, not you...!! -- funny, I truly never did, even in the hours and days after the break up. Oh I wanted him to reach out to me, but I was very certain that he wouldn't do so, and I also had no urge to contact him either.
doomed Posted February 19, 2009 Posted February 19, 2009 LMAO. SYL some of the things we do to cope, eh ? Getting here toward the end wasn't so sudden for me. It got so we could only ever have oral sex anymore. She'd get in bed and holler F**K YOU. From the other room I'd holler F**CK YOU TOO. doomed Is it really orange ? Any girls like cheetos ?
Author SYL Posted February 19, 2009 Author Posted February 19, 2009 Is it really orange ? Any girls like cheetos ? It's only orange because he's eating Cheetos... He's watching porn... with orange on his hands from eating the Cheetos. The thought is, what does he do with his hands to make THAT orange?? Haha!
JohnnyBlaze Posted February 19, 2009 Posted February 19, 2009 I can proudly say that (after one big breakup) I was not guilty of #2...at least, not for a while. Of course, the reason I wasn't guilty of it was because I was so bloody drunk for the first few weeks that I couldn't even see the computer, let alone turn it on. That's beside the point, though. (Yes, I know alcohol isn't the answer. But I never did well on tests!) 9. Men beware: Women are named after hurricanes because when they arrive they're wet and wild, but when they go, they take your house and car. As Kevin Nealon so eloquently put it on Weekend Update, "studies show that only 25% of men kiss their wife goodbye when they leave the house. However, 99% kiss the house goodbye when they leave their wife".
doomed Posted February 20, 2009 Posted February 20, 2009 A father was on his way home and decided to buy his daughter a Barbie. He stopped at a toy store and noticed that there was a Shopping Barbie, a Beach Barbie and a Disco Barbie which were all £19.95. There was also a Divorce Barbie for £265.00. "Why is the Divorce Barbie so much more expensive?" asks the dad. The salesman answered " That's because Divorce Barbie comes with Ken's car, Ken's house, Ken's boat, Ken's computer, Ken's furniture and one of Ken's mates!!!!!!
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