stovepipe Posted February 19, 2009 Posted February 19, 2009 I only started NC a little over a week ago after we tried being friends which she decided that she couldn't do. She didn't talk or try to contact me at all until yesterday. Yesterday I got flooded by her...emails at work which I didn't respond to. A text message that I didn't respond to. Then after work she gets on AIM trying to talk to me. I just ignored all the messages. Later that night my phone beeps and I have an email. Here's the email Ok look this is my last attempt. You didnt answer my emails at work, text or IM. If you don't respond to this I will take the hint and realize that whatever you told me before was a bunch of ****. I will realize that everything you have told me in the past is tell the bitch what she wants to hear. All I am trying to do is make sure you are OK. I have been worried. I can't just shut off my sick feeling in my stomach. Can you at least let me know what is going on? Seriously ****, after this attempt I can't keep going on hoping and praying you will talk to me. Please just talk to me! Damn it we have been through to much to let my stupid ass ruin things. If I could take everything back, I would in a heart beat. I would take it all back and start over with nothing ever happening between us. I am sorry our friendship has been ruined. If you don't want to talk to me again I will know because you didn't respond. If you want to work things out then please respond. So much for the I love you and always will. Please **** stop ignoring me. I know deep down in your heart this is not the way you want things to be. What she is worried about is my health, recently, after our breakup they found something with my heart on a routine checkup..she knew about this because at this point we were like most people here...trying to be friends. Today at work I got no emails, no texts...but what she did was she wrote on a sticky note and slapped it on my desk "You're a jerk" and walked away. As much as I don't like to see people miserable, or hurt, I kind of take satisfaction knowing that she's upset about me not talking to her. She broke it off with me, she is the one that is going on and on about this new guy and how wonderful she is so I can hear it at work knowing that it tears me up inside. Finally I feel like I have the power back. Going NC was the best thing I've done and I wish I'd have done it sooner. Its a long hard road ahead but I have to keep on doing what I'm doing.
DSM-IV Tom Posted February 19, 2009 Posted February 19, 2009 What a tricky situation. Tell me, does she truly deserve this? Do you really not want her back? Because she does sound like she wants a second chance. She could've spoken about that other guy to make you jealous, since she obviously knew as you stated earlier, that she knew you'd hear her.
not_a_happy_camper Posted February 19, 2009 Posted February 19, 2009 ouch, dude. Ok, she's begging. did you tell her you were going NC? i hate this whole thing of letting them text, and email, and call, and beg, without letting them know you are doing this for yourself. maybe you have done this. I"m not sure. a lot of people feel that dumpers don't even deserve to be told this information. I believe her post it was juvenile to say the least. But maybe she doesn't understand what exactly you're doing? in ways it's too late now, the damage is done.
Author stovepipe Posted February 19, 2009 Author Posted February 19, 2009 What a tricky situation. Tell me, does she truly deserve this? Do you really not want her back? Because she does sound like she wants a second chance. She could've spoken about that other guy to make you jealous, since she obviously knew as you stated earlier, that she knew you'd hear her. What she wants is a second chance at friendship. Not at our relationship. She's made it clear to me that she only wants me as a friend which I tried to be, but what I was able to give to her as a friend she wasn't satisfied with. Do I want her back, I would give it a try....but I know that this isn't what it is. She wants her best friend back, which is what we were prior to us dating.
Author stovepipe Posted February 19, 2009 Author Posted February 19, 2009 ouch, dude. Ok, she's begging. did you tell her you were going NC? i hate this whole thing of letting them text, and email, and call, and beg, without letting them know you are doing this for yourself. maybe you have done this. I"m not sure. a lot of people feel that dumpers don't even deserve to be told this information. I believe her post it was juvenile to say the least. But maybe she doesn't understand what exactly you're doing? in ways it's too late now, the damage is done. Did she know I was going NC. No she didn't...why should I tell her. She made it clear to me...after we attempted to be friends that she didn't want me as a friend, that we lost the connection we had. She's begging for our friendship...not our relationship. She's been talking about this guy, showing people his picture, saying how happy she is all right in front of me. I have to put on headphones and turn it up full volume just to down out the things she says.
not_a_happy_camper Posted February 19, 2009 Posted February 19, 2009 ok, I see where you're coming from. she made her intentions clear to you, and now she back pedals..................proceed with what you are doing my friend!
mark982 Posted February 19, 2009 Posted February 19, 2009 stovepipe, let her whine,plead,beg, whatever. but you're doing the right thing.she's just pissed you're ingoring her.she wants "the power",she can't have it, and that makes her mad. stay the course.
BCCA Posted February 19, 2009 Posted February 19, 2009 stovepipe, you are a wise man to have figured out her motives beforehand, and kept them in mind. Often times, people will take this as a sign that she may want to work things out. I never for a second thought that was the case, I've seen this behavior and clever choice of wording waaaayy too many times to be fooled. She wants to have her cake, and eat it, too. She wants everything to work for her on her terms, and when you said you would always love her and be friends, she took that as a sign that she always had you there how she wanted. It's making her mad because she can't have her way, nothing more. She can deal with it. Truth be told, you don't owe her anything, and I would do the exact same thing. While you can see where she is coming from, everyone would love to live in a perfect world, you don't have to agree with or like it. She's also being a royal b***h by talking about how happy she is right in front of you. See, give and inch and people take a mile. Unreal.
Author stovepipe Posted February 19, 2009 Author Posted February 19, 2009 a few weeks ago I would have replied to her requests. I would have done what she wanted because I always have. Not anymore. Yeah it still sucks, even at work today she is going around telling everyone about this guy. It hurts badly, but then I realize that if this person actually did care for me, if this person was my friend she wouldn't be doing any of this. Something clicked over valentines day weekend. The hurt became less and less and anger set in. I'd honestly rather feel angry then hurt. I'm hoping the next stage is happiness. To everyone out there that is thinking about breaking NC, don't do it unless you are 100% sure you are either over them or they truly want to work things out with you. The dumpers feel guilt and they don't like having that feeling. I know that she will contact me again, I can feel it. I refuse to give in though. Working in such close proximity at work makes NC extremely hard...if I didn't have to see her 5 days a week for 8 hours a day it would be much easier...but I do and I have to deal with it. Due to all of this I've made new friends and became closer to ones that I wasn't as close with before. If I feel like I want to contact her I just call another friend or come on here to post. She's acting childish and I have the power now.
LoveisWar Posted February 19, 2009 Posted February 19, 2009 The power is in your hands mate. Cant' be easy being with her at work and hearing all the bull she's talking. She wants that power back to assuage her feelings of guilt too. Fact is she's lost out. With her bragging about her new man at work in front of you - why would she need to brag?! I say because she is not happy and is braggin to convince herself and others she is. Carry on the NC, keep the power, and forget the mixed up wench..
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